Glass Houses
by charlibubble
Summary: 'Her statement hung in the air like a cloud of smoke, descending over her slowly and with a suffocating power she couldn't fight. She had heard those words before, she had said those words to distraught families while she looked at them with what she hoped was a sympathetic expression. Hearing them was a different experience altogether' GSR a touch of Greg/OC and a mystery. x
1. Chapter 1

Sara quickly changed into her workout gear and tried not to make too much of a scene as she slipped into the class mid warm up. It was the third time she had been late this month and the teacher was starting to notice, the unforgiving gaze of the rest of the class burning into her as she wandered to the back row.

"Sorry I'm late!" her usual sparring partner Robyn was coincidentally even later than she was and Sara silently thanked her for taking the irate stares instead. She stumbled over her excuses as the teacher ignored her. "Traffic you know? And my sitter was late and then I couldn't find my shoes … and …never mind. I'll…."

Robyn rolled her eyes as she trudged to the back of the room and took position beside Sara, the rest of the room continuing with their work out. She had been coming to this class for almost a year and was yet to gel with any of the other girls. She and Robyn were outcasts; they didn't turn up with the latest overpriced brand names dripping off their bodies like a second skin. They weren't there to impress the men in the Gym upstairs or maintain their ridiculously slim frames so they could fit into the barely there dresses they wore as they crawled out of nightclubs at 3am. They didn't fit with the others at all so maybe that was why they seemed to gravitate towards each other right at the beginning.

"God I am starving now" Robyn smiled as she stashed her towel in her locker and took another swig of her water after class. "I didn't have time for dinner before I came out"

"And you were still late?" Sara grinned, pulling the hairband from her hair and combing it through.

Robyn shrugged; she was late for class every week. She had once confessed to Sara that she had been late for her own wedding, and not on purpose either. She did say that was probably why he left her 3 months later but Sara chose to take that as a joke.

"can I treat you to a coffee and a sandwich after this?" Robyn asked, keeping her voice low so that the others didn't hear and invite themselves too.

It had become a regular thing lately. After class they would head to a tiny coffee house on the corner and solve all of the problems in the world. It had been on one of these coffee breaks that Sara had been struck with an epiphany to set Robyn up with Greg. It had, of course, been a great success and Sara had never seen Greg happier.

"I kinda wanted to pick your brains about something anyway…" she began, staring into her coffee nervously.

"something about Greg?" Sara smiled.

It wasn't often she was approached by people looking for advice on relationships. Most people she socialised with knew about her unconventional relationship with Grissom and steered clear of the subject. But even she recognised that when it came to Greg, no-one knew him better.

"has he mentioned that maybe there could be an…. Issue … between us…. Lately?" Robyn stumbled nervously over her words, a pink flush colouring her cheeks.

"what kind of issue?" Sara sipped her coffee keeping her eyes on her friend across the table.

"its probably nothing" she shook her head and busied herself searching in her purse "forget I said anything"

She diverted her eyes, fishing her phone from deep in the purse and fixing her eyes on it to avoid looking at Sara.

"no, come on" Sara soothed, closing her hand over Robyn's " what issue? Is it a communication issue? Work issue? A sex issue?"

There was no mistaking the way Robyn's eyes shot to hers and she nodded ever so slightly.

"sex?"

"it's just…. Well we haven't actually… you know… went there… yet"

"really?" she tried to keep the smile from her face but her lips were curling of their own accord.

Greg had been claiming macho points from Nick for weeks on the basis that he was getting some and Nick wasn't. Nick's girlfriend was on a sex ban kick, claiming that she read it could be good for a long term relationship to abstain from sex for a while. Nick, being Nick, was practically climbing the walls and Greg took great joy in teasing him about it.

"he hasn't mentioned anything…" Sara reassured.

"its not that we don't want to…really, its just…. Time and… circumstances and …Joel and it seems like the longer we pretend its not an issue… the harder its going to be to… do… it"

Robyn's embarrassment was endearing. she could remember having the same concerns when she first started dating Grissom. The more time that passed the bigger the pressure became and in the end they had only waited 3 weeks. Greg and Robyn had been together closer to 3 months the tension must be almost suffocating.

"why don't you just talk to him?" Sara suggested.

Greg wasn't like most men, you could talk to him about anything without worrying he would be judgemental or over sensitive about it.

"see that's the thing. I don't know if he thinks its an issue at all. If he doesn't and I bring it up then it _becomes_ an issue"

Sara pondered this for a few seconds, she tried to think about the reason's Greg could have for not pursuing things further with Robyn. He wasn't known for being promiscuous although he would like people to think he was at times, the fact was Greg took his relationships very seriously.

"you know, he's probably just trying to be a gentleman and waiting till you're ready. Maybe you should take the initiative. Cook him a nice meal, wear your best lingere… light some candles and let nature take its course" she smiled.

She remembered how well that approach had worked for her although Grissom had been the one cooking. Sara and cooking didn't mix very well.

"I wish I could but nothing kills the mood faster than a 4 year old in dinosaur pyjama's"

Robyns son Joel was one of the most intelligent 4 year olds Sara had ever met. He knew more about dinosaurs and fossils than most adults and Robyn claimed she did nothing to promote his keen interest in information. The way he hungrily devoured his books reminded her of herself as a child.

"well… why don't you let me take him off your hands for a few hours? We can go see the dinosaur exhibit in the luxor and he can take me to dinner" she smiled "its been a while since a handsome younger man took me out"

Robyn seemed genuinely touched by the sentiment.

"you would do that?" she smiled.

"of course! Tell Greg you're doing something and when you pick him up I'll take Joel. Just… don't tell me the details ok? I got to get to work!"

They said their goodbyes and went their separate ways.

The long shift took it out of her. Sara slid into the soft leather of the chair with a sigh that she was sure would deflate her entire body. She was exhausted, but instead of planning an evening at home with a bubble bath and a bottle of wine she decided that tonight she needed company. She needed distraction and conversation.

"You guys want to grab a beer after shift?" she smiled at both Nick and Greg, happy for either one to be her escort for the night if it couldn't be both. She knew Nick could probably do with some time out for certain; he was struggling to cope with his new living arrangements or rather his new roommate in the form of his long term girlfriend Melissa. She had lost count of the rants she had listened to regarding the woman; she would have had her tarred as the most unreasonable woman on the planet if she took Nick's word as gospel.

"Robyn's picking me up after work…" Greg began with a wicked smile "we're going Salsa dancing"

"Your extracurricular activities never cease to amaze me Greg" she teased, suddenly remembering her promise to babysit. in all honesty she was glad Greg had found someone, especially someone she got along with. If they ever did get married it would be essential that she approved.

"I'm in. I promised Melissa a whole weekend of alone time… she can think I'm working late tonight" he winked, sipping his coffee slowly.

"What do you have planned?" Sara pondered the definition of alone time and what it meant in her relationship. She and Grissom had never been a couple who went on 'dates' their alone time consisted of watching movies together or reading side by side in bed. Their understated romance had become an understated marriage but one that she cherished with every beat of her heart.

"I dunno…. It's all so samey. We've been out for dinner and at the movies and bowling a million times…. What else is there to do?" Nick sighed, flicking through the newspaper distractedly.

"you know Morgan and I went to that new adventure golf place last weekend" Hodges piped up, fixing himself a mug of coffee and slouching in the chair by the door with a smug smile on his face as he was met with the surprised expressions on the 3 faces in front of him. He didn't notice Morgan creeping into the room behind him.

"You forgot to mention that our parents were there too…" she smiled, wiping the grin off his face in an instant.

"I didn't really think that was relevant…" he argued, shrugging off her tease.

"And they paid" Morgan smiled as she sat down, holding a mug in her hands. Sara would admit that she enjoyed seeing Hodges squirm and no one could make him squirm more than Morgan could.

"Again" Hodges stated with a wave of his hand "it's hardly…"

"And I won" she interrupted, smiling at Greg with a victorious grin.

"I don't really think we should be discussing our personal lives in the office sweetie" Hodges answered through gritted teeth as he tried to save face in front of his colleagues. They all thought Morgan was way out of his league and if he was honest with himself he probably did too but he was slowly breaking through her defences and charming her with his wit. She threw her head back and laughed as she crossed around the table with an evil glint in her eye.

"We'd have to have a personal life first and call me sweetie again and I'll tell them about the windmill fiasco"

With a final glance around to make sure everyone was suitably intrigued Morgan left the break room and headed off in search of Henry and her results. Hodges was suddenly aware of all eyes on him, waiting for him to confess.

"I… uhh she's… she's kidding" he muttered, backing out of the room quickly "I… should um I should go after her…"

Sara rolled her eyes and turned back to Nick and Greg, she was about to tease them both for sitting there texting on their cell phones when her own phone broke the silence of the room.

She didn't recognise the number immediately and it surprised her. The only people who ever called her unannounced were in the same room. She drew her eyes across the numbers highlighting her screen. It was a San Francisco dial code.

"Sara Sidle?" she answered with a frown.

"Good morning Miss Sidle, my name is Mary Bishop. I'm calling from NBCBM"

Sara's mind took a few seconds to catch up. North Bay Centre for Behavioural Medicine, the institute where her mother received her therapy. It had been a long 3 years since she had last been in San Francisco, why her mother would be calling her out of the blue escaped her.

"Sure, I'll take her call" she wandered out into the corridor. It wasn't so much that she was embarrassed by her mother's ramblings it was more to do with the fact that neither Nick nor Greg knew that her mother was institutionalized. She was doing well, really well in fact for the past few years. It seemed that Sara's visit had done them both some good but she was nowhere near being properly rehabilitated. Sara doubted that would ever happen.

"This isn't a social call, Miss Sidle. I'm sorry to have to tell you this but your mother passed away this morning"

Her statement hung in the air like a cloud of smoke, descending over her slowly and with a suffocating power she couldn't fight. She had heard those words before, she had said those words to distraught families while she looked at them with what she hoped was a sympathetic expression. Hearing them was a different experience altogether. She couldn't claim to be close to her mother but that was the only family she had left, the only person besides Grissom she could call family.

"How did it happen?" she muttered, the shock making itself heard in her voice.

She wasn't sure why she asked, the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach told her she knew already. She said the word almost simultaneously with Mary on the other end of the phone.

"Suicide… We need you to make the arrangements and sign her documentation. You're her next of kin."

It felt stale to be addressed as 'next of kin' like she was nothing more to the woman than a name on a piece of paper. She was her daughter, they were bonded in a way that no-one could take away no matter how many years passed without a call or what horrible things she had done; that was her mother they were talking about. The woman who gave her life, then irrevocably messed it up. She may not have been much to her mother but she was her daughter.

"I'm her daughter" she placed a heavy emphasis on the word, feeling an odd sense of resentment towards the woman on the other end of the phone "I'll be there as soon as I can"

She could feel her body shudder as she slowly walked back to the break room. Shock could manifest itself in many ways, in her case trembling hands and an unshakeable dizziness. The colour drained out of her skin, she could almost feel the chalky white sinking into her pores and emphasizing the rings under her eyes as Nick and Greg looked up at her with those eyes. Those sympathetic eyes, before they even knew what was going on.

"Hey Nick?... I need to take a rain check on tonight…" she spoke to the room, not really registering who was in it or where they were her mind was occupied with a million thoughts all jostling for prime position in her consciousness. She had to get to San Francisco…. She had cases to be covered and paperwork to file and then she needed to call Grissom. He should know his mother in law was dead, even if he never met her. She had a brother out there somewhere too, would she have time to track him down before the funeral? She deserved a funeral after all; everyone deserved to have one last goodbye.

"Sara? Is everything ok?" Greg recognised her confusion; he swung his arm around her and placed her gently in the chair by his side.

"No… my mother… she's dead"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/n: couple of things I should clarify - I apologise for not doing so in CH1- this is set in present time and although the much debated subject of Sara's brother is still undecided I have decided he exists for the purposes of this story so I hope you will allow me that little bit of creative licence just this once!**  
**Thank you to all who have added this and reviewed it, I appreciate the encouragement and I hope I don't let you down!**  
**love, Charli xx**

Greg insisted on taking her home. In her bewildered state of mind she had simply nodded and allowed him to speak to DB on her behalf. While she sat in the locker room lacing up her boots she tried to trudge up some good memories of her mother.

Somewhere in the recesses of her mind there must have been something. She knew that she had supressed them a long time ago as a survival mechanism. If she had thought about her mother's smile when she was sitting alone in a strange house then she would probably have broken down. Now it was backfiring somewhat, now she was reaching out for those memories and she couldn't find them.

"Robyn will be here any minute… you want to wait outside?" Greg leaned against the doorframe and spoke softly and sympathetically.

"Sure" she nodded, swinging her jacket over her shoulders and moving out of the room. She felt strangely numb, like the impact of her conversation was yet to sink in.

Greg swung his arm around her shoulder and steered her outside but they stood there in near silence. She knew he was probably trying to think up something sympathetic to say, really all she wanted was a distraction so that her over active mind would stop racing.

"Sara...if you want to talk..." Greg began realising that he didn't know what to offer her- after all of these years if he was honest he still struggled to understand how to make Sara feel better when she was hurting.

"It's..." Sara took a deep breath not wanting to look him in the eye as she talked about things she had never imagined herself sharing with anyone. "Growing up... I never thought I'd see her again... I didn't know who she was... not really...And now..."

Greg took a step slightly closer to her wanting to reach out to her but realising from the way Sara had tucked her hands into her pockets that she didn't want to be touched.

"maybe now you'll get the chance to understand her a little better…. You can put whatever went on in the past to rest and find some peace" he muttered, not sure he even believed the words himself.

"I don't know...Greg...I don't know..." She looked away biting her lip.

Robyn's SUV pulled into the lot, music blaring from the open windows and Joel sleeping on the back seat. She waved at them with a wide smile, singing along to the radio enthusiastically.

"She's singing" Sara deadpanned, raising an eyebrow in his direction.

"Robyn's always Singing" he smiled with an exaggerated eye roll "in the shower, while cooking, in the garden, on the way to playschool…"

"I see. You know she's worried about you?" Sara remarked as she watched Robyn's car make its way through the one way system towards the doors.

"About me? Why?" Greg frowned.

"Well not specifically about you… more about…. Both of you… together" she met his eye with a wicked smile, making sure he knew what she was talking about without embarrassing him by saying it out loud.

"Oh" he nodded.

"I was supposed to babysit today… so that you could… you know" she shrugged, debating whether she was still in the right frame of mind to be in charge of a toddler. "I can still do it… if you want"

"No way! You need to get to San Francisco. Don't worry about us… we'll be fine" he smiled "nothing a mild sedative for the boy won't cure!"

Sara smiled and shook her head at his statement as they took the steps down towards Robyn and Joel. She cast her eyes over the sleeping toddler in the backseat, so safe and unassuming. He was the epitome of a mummy' boy, hence why Greg and Robyn were having trouble getting some alone time, she wondered if she had ever been that way with her mother. It was in nature after all, young formed a bond with their primary carer very early in their lives to ensure survival. At some point she must have looked at her mother and felt nothing but love. As far back as she could remember her relationship with her mother had been a difficult one.

"I got your message" Robyn said, turning the music down and looking between them with a concerned expression "is everything ok?"

Greg leaned in through the window and placed a careful kiss on her cheek, whispering in her ear. With a nod she turned her eyes to Sara.

"I'm sorry Sara, is there anything I can do?"

Sara slid into the passenger seat, sending Greg a defiant smile as she did so. She shook her head briefly as she fastened her seatbelt.

"Greg won't let me drive. I'd appreciate a ride home"

Robyn reached out to squeeze Sara's hand gently as Greg slid into the backseat attempting to do so without waking Joel. He knew all too well that an over tired toddler was not a good thing.

"Were you close to your mother?" Robyn asked as she drove along the highway.

It was funny how no-one close to her asked that. They were never specifically told about her estrangement but assumed that the subject of her mother was out of bounds.

"No. not particularly, but she was still my mother" she could see Robyn nodding out of the corner of her eye. It was a tricky subject for her to open up about; she couldn't really define the relationship she had with her mother.

"When my mom died I spent weeks afterwards looking for her and even talking to her" Robyn said sadly "it gets easier"

"Thanks" Sara smiled, turning her attention to the window. She couldn't imagine dealing with her grief that way. She didn't speak to her mother often enough when she was alive to justify talking to her now she was dead.

"do you have any siblings?" Robyn continued, she was a new friend not confined to steering clear of the family subject having witnessed one too many breakdowns about the subject. She had no reason to avoid it, no prior knowledge or opinions.

"no… well I had a brother...I don't know a lot about him" she sighed, realizing just how difficult it was probably going to be to track him down. for all she knew he had a different name, a family, he could even be dead himself.

The drive to Sara's condo went quickly; there was always less traffic on the roads at this time of morning, even in a town like Vegas. Greg followed her inside, taking a few seconds to say his goodbye's to Robyn. Sara didn't understand what he was so worried about, she had never spoken about her mother with him and he had never asked.

"Where's Robyn going?" Sara asked as the huge silver car disappeared out of her tiny street.

"I told her to go home. I'm not leaving you alone right now"

"Greg…" she began "you don't need to babysit me. I'm fine, honestly"

"Yeah well…. I don't think it's a time to be on your own. I'll help. I'll book our flights"

"_Our_ flights?" she ventured, throwing her purse on the armchair and pressing play on the answer phone.

"I'm going with you..." he stated matter of factly.

Sara smiled to herself as she skimmed through the mail, Greg was supportive to a fault but this time she needed to be alone.

"No you're not" Sara declared "trust me, I barely spoke to my mother I can do this on my own. Besides… you have some unfinished business to attend to"

She smiled as she retreated into the bedroom to pack her bag. She had become somewhat of a frequent flier over recent years, so much so that she could pack a bag as quick as a flash without having to think about it too much.

"You can book me on a flight though!" she called into the living room as her wedding photo caught her eye. It was time to call Grissom and let him know that he'd never get to meet his mother in law.

Grissom's phone rang out for what felt like hours before switching to the answer service. It was to be expected, they had spoken last night so he wouldn't be waiting for a call. She left a quick message as Greg loitered in the doorway.

"Next flight's not till 1. Can I take you to breakfast?"

Sara smiled, she was glad of his company. Being left alone with her own thoughts and regrets was a bad idea right now and he was the only one around that she could depend on. She knew that Grissom was likely to hop on the next flight to San Francisco too but she had to speak to him first and there was no telling when he would respond to her call so she had to make the most of Greg's support while she still had it.

"Sure. But I'm buying!" she smiled, throwing her bag over her shoulder and switching the light off in the bedroom as they left.

They always ate in the same diner, and every time they did they had the same discussion about why.

"One day we'll break tradition and go to McDonalds or something" Greg joked.

He wasn't normally someone who thrived with routine. He liked to shake things up every now and then and surprise people but he did recognise that with everything running through Sara's mind right now she needed something familiar.

"You know that'll never happen! They'd have to burn this place down to stop us coming here!"

Sara took a sip of her coffee and stared out of the window. They had been coming to this diner since she came to Vegas; it was likely that they frequented it long before she arrived too. It was a stronghold, a staple of the CSI diet.

"What's your mom like?" she asked him quietly. She had often pictured Greg's mother, she was nurturing and kind that much was obvious but Greg didn't speak about her too often. He was much more vocal about the rest of his family.

"Ahh you want to know about the great Mrs Sanders?" he grinned "what do you want to know?"

"What was she like? When you were growing up?"

Greg seemed to ponder this for a while, running through his catalogue of memories.

"She was … like every other mom I guess. She baked cookies and always had a supply of band aids and took a ridiculous amount of photographs…"

Sara smiled at the thought of such happy memories try as she might she simply couldn't find anything substantial enough to call it a good memory.

"My mom wasn't like that" she stated sadly "I don't think she ever baked cookies. I don't remember much of her at all"

Greg took a deep breath, probably about to launch into a kind, reassuring speech about how not having memories of your mother doesn't affect how you feel about her but her cell phone broke through the relative quiet of the diner, Grissom's name blinked on the tiny screen as she took the call.

"I have a message from you… is everything ok?" he sounded worried but it felt incredibly comforting to hear his voice.

"I'm fine… I had a call about my mother… she's passed away. I have to go to San Francisco"

Despite her attempts to remain aloof and in control a quiver entered her voice. Whether it was down to reminiscing with Greg or hearing Grissom's soothing tones she couldn't say but she knew Grissom heard it.

"When is your flight? I'll meet you there?"

She relayed the flight details to Grissom while scribbling patterns on a napkin. She knew he wouldn't make it to the city anywhere near as quickly as her, but she was pleased for the promise of his arrival nonetheless. She signed off from the call with a sigh and met Greg's concerned gaze across the table.

"Are you going to be ok?" he muttered, closing his hand around hers with a gentle smile.

"Of course I am, I'm ok now just feeling a little nostalgic I guess" a half smirk crossed her lips.

In a manner of hours she would be facing more nostalgia than she ever had. There was no telling what kind of things she would be unearthing when she took custody of her mother's things.

"Well you can feel nostalgic on the way to the airport! We better go"

Greg drove to the airport, still insisting that she was incapable. She would have protested if she didn't find his concern so endearing. He weaved in and out of the traffic like a pro; he knew how she hated waiting around in jams.

"You know it would be nice to make it to the airport in once piece Greg!" Sara cried, gripping the handle of her door with white knuckles.

"Hey… I'm just driving like a certain Miss Sidle always does!" he grinned, pulling the car across 3 lanes without blinking an eye.

"Some of us know how to do it without causing a multi-car pile-up!" Sara laughed as her body fell heavily against the door. "Take it easy!"

Greg pressed his foot on the brake and joined the line of traffic waiting for entry into the airport. It took an age to finally pull into the parking lot and stroll through the airport. There were always so many people passing through the bright white space it would be so easy to get lost amongst it all. They stood below the departures board and waited for the display to show San Francisco.

"Gate 12" Greg declared, somewhat unnecessarily as he grinned at her and handed her bag over.

"Thanks Greg" Sara pressed a kiss against his cheek. "I'll call you when I touch down"

She pushed through the throng of people to join the line for security, turning one last time to wave Greg off. A strange nervousness washed over her as the line moved forward. Ready or not; she was about to find out a whole lot about her mysterious mother.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So, this is relevant - I promise! it might seem like its a bit off topic but Greg plays a part in this story so its important we follow his progress through it too. every few chapters will be back to Greg... its also a bit of an interlude between all the angst Sara's experiencing. I will promise Chapter 4 on Sunday though :)  
Charli xx**

Greg took his time driving home. Sara was putting on an incredible brave front but he knew that inside she was being torn apart. The death of a parent always opened a can of worms. As soon as he got home he picked up the phone and called his own mother. It wasn't that he didn't speak to her often, she was insistent that they spoke at least once a week but facing up to mortality of a loved one he realised that he needed to remind her that she was loved.

"Hey mom" he smiled at the sound of her voice and the Elvis tunes in the background.

"What's wrong? What's happened?" she demanded "you called yesterday, there must be something wrong"

"Mom, calm down… nothing's wrong. I just wanted to hear your voice" he soothed.

"You're a good boy" he could almost feel her beaming on the other end of the phone "you know Silvia Marshall's daughter has been home for the week. She's still single…."

Greg rolled his eyes. He made a habit of not telling his mother about his personal life, at the mere suggestion of a date she'd be picking out baby names and knitting yellow beanie hats. He wondered how she would feel if she found out he was dating someone who already had a child, who had already been married and divorced,

"Mom stop setting me up with your friends daughters" he sighed.

"You know, I would like grandchildren at some point Gregory"

He wondered how she had the ability to turn every conversation into grandchildren. They could be chatting about global warming or quantum physics and she would still manage to turn it into a guilt trip about not sowing his seed.

"I know mom…. I know"

"Carolyn next door? Her daughter just had twins. Twins! They are adorable"

He could tell that he was never going to turn this conversation to anything other than babies. His mother was known for having a one track mind at times.

"I need to go mom, I love you!"

"Ok you take care my boy, are you eating? You need to get down here soon and have a real meal"

"I'm eating just fine mom and next holiday I promise I'll come home"

"you sound skinny... you need a woman to beef you up!" She continued, ignoring his attempts at getting off the phone.

Greg rolled his eyes, wondering how a person could _sound_ skinny and how his mother had somehow made that turn back into him needing a woman. She was skilled in the art of getting her own way, that much was clear.

"Mom, I'll call you tomorrow. stop worrying!"

He signed off from the call relieved that his mother lived at least a 3 hour drive away. He wondered what it would be like to have no contact with her at all, she might pressure him to settle down and mollycoddle him beyond belief but it was all done in love. He couldn't imagine how his life would be without her.

He showered and changed before heading over to Robyn's. She was cooking for them both, as planned. The only difference being that now Joel would be in the house too. He was a good kid and Greg had a lot of fun with him but he was really getting in the way of them being able to consummate their relationship. When he was with a sitter they had an 8pm curfew, when he was at home he inevitably interrupted their attempts at alone time.

He could hear her singing as he pulled into the drive beside her van. A smile tugged on his lips, he couldn't really complain about the lack of sex. They more than made up for it in other ways.

He swung the door open and stepped into the huge living space. Robyn had inherited this place from her father, otherwise it was unlikely she could have been able to afford so much space on her mediocre salary. She was in the Kitchen, swaying in front of the stove, oblivious to his arrival.

"We're on a Johnny Cash kick today?" he remarked as 'I walk the line' resounded around the small space she occupied.

"The mans a legend Greg" she smirked, pecking a kiss on his cheek.

"I wouldn't deny that…. Little before your time though is he not?" Greg began absentmindedly stirring pots and inhaling the scent of the steam.

"You've heard of Jesus Christ haven't you?" he nodded in response, a frown crossing his features "little before your time too"

She smiled and raised an eyebrow at her victory.

"Touché" he wound his arms around her body, pulling her into his embrace and dancing his lips on hers. "Where's Joel?"

"He's next door with Jamie and his mom. He's staying over for dinner" she grinned, meeting his eye with a quirk of her eyebrow loaded with hidden meaning.

He raised an eyebrow and kissed her again, feeling a strange sense of desperation fall over him.

"I heard you'd been talking to Sara…." He whispered in her ear as he concentrated his kisses on the elegant sweep of her neckline and collarbone.

"I really should remember she tells you everything" she muttered, winding her arms around his neck as he pressed her against the counter.

"Hmmm you really should…" with one movement he raised her body onto the countertop, never breaking the contact of his lips to her skin. It was funny how she always tasted the same, a mixture of honeysuckle and lavender danced on his lips and enveloped his senses every time he was near her.

She met his eyes in a moment of uncertainty, her breath quivering as it shuddered from her chest and whispered on her lips. One kiss and he washed it all away, folding the strap of her dress down her arm and dipping his head to follow the trail his fingerprints painted for him.

Her fingers wrapped around his shirt as her hips rocked against him. She held fast to the material for a moment, an attempt at calming herself that clearly wouldn't work. He was using every trick he knew to drive her wild, as much as his hands and lips wanted to grasp at her with all the passion he felt he knew that the lighter his touch, the greater his reward would be and that theory didn't let him down. She unhooked his buttons, exposing his chest and running her hands over him gently.

She moistened her lips before dancing sensual kisses across his collar bone, her eyes dancing to his every few seconds. It was spellbinding; the flirtatious nature of her kisses, the lingering eye contact, the feeling of her skin under his fingers. He pressed against her again, his desires becoming achingly physical as his hands inched up her thighs as gently as he could bear. Her dress rode up further, revealing her smooth thighs and lace underwear and he almost growled into her hair as she arched her back against him and fiddled with his belt.

His mind was racing almost as fast as his heart was. He could barely heave breath into his lungs as he realized that this was it. They were actually going to overcome the only obstacle in their relationship, every suppressed fantasy he'd had of the moment, every sleepless night, every single broken moment was about to be washed away in a crescendo of passion.

"Mommy?"

Joel's voice could break down the most intense moment in a second. He came crashing into the living room with his dinosaur in tow and Robyn let out an exasperated sigh. Placing her hands on either side of Greg's face and resting her forehead against his, her trembling body and erratic breathing giving away her state of arousal and frustration.

"I'm sorry" she whispered "I'm so sorry…"

"I'll go…" he kissed her softly, reassuring her that he wasn't mad before he disappeared into the living room. Joel was stood in the centre of the room, staring at the TV with his T-rex toy dragged behind him and a trail of muddy footprints showing his path from the front door. "Hey buddy, how was dinner?"

He twirled around and greeted him with a wide smile and a hug. He had worked hard to build a good relationship with the kid; it was important to Robyn and the main reason why he hadn't been invited to stay the night yet. Joel had to like him just as much as she did.

"I had turkey dinosaurs and spaghetti O's" he beamed as Greg lifted him to his hip and made his way into his bedroom.

Joel had the first bedroom off the living area. A positively packed room filled with toys, books and general clutter, the walls covered with his artwork and certificates.

"That sounds awesome! I hope that's what your mom's cooking for me!" Greg smiled, fishing in his drawers for some pyjamas.

"Don't be silly Greg, grown-ups can't have turkey dinosaurs!" Joel jumped on his bed, making pillows and soft toys scatter all over the floor.

"We can't?" Greg protested "that's not very fair!"

He grabbed Joel mid-jump and threw him back on the soft pillow's wrestling him into his pyjama's as he giggled and wriggled.

"Now, I'll put a DVD on for you if you promise you'll stay in bed to watch it" he whispered "because if your mom knows I let you stay up she might put me on the naughty step"

Joel nodded excitedly as Greg started the DVD up and left the room. Robyn was plating their dinner when he got back, a soft smile his only greeting as he took his place at the table. She was embarrassed, frustrated probably, that they didn't get the time they needed to be together.

"Will you stay tonight?" she almost whispered as she chased a stick of broccoli around her plate, keeping her eyes firmly fixed on the table. He reached out his hand and covered hers.

"Here?"

"No, next door… " she smiled, meeting his eye at last. "of course here!"

"Are you sure that's what you want? I mean Joel…"

"Joel… "She interrupted "already likes you better than me. I don't think he'll be a problem"

"Ok then… I'd love to" he smiled, returning to his meal feeling a small sense of victory. Maybe today wouldn't be a total wash out already. When they finished their meal they relaxed on the sofa, wrapped in each other's arms as they half watched a movie. Before long he had her laid beneath him on the soft cushions of the sofa, making her sigh and tremble like before.

"I'm glad you asked me to stay" he muttered onto her lips, stroking his fingers across her cheek and looking into the brown and gold of her eyes.

"Because we get to do this?" she smiled, folding his shirt from his shoulders.

"Because I hate making my bed in the morning…" he laughed as she rolled her eyes at him and laced her fingers through his hair.

The light switched on bathing them in bright lights and forcing her eyes closed at the impact.

"I thought you put him to bed?" she groaned through her teeth.

"Yeah… me too, I've got it" he whispered, kissing her tenderly and heaving himself from the sofa "hold that thought"

She cleaned up the plates while he was gone and danced around lighting candles. Settling in the couch she waited for him to return but there was no sign of him. She carefully swung Joel's bedroom door open. Her eyes casting over the scene in front of her; Joel sound asleep in his bed surrounded by dinosaur toys, Greg resting on the bed beside him, a book in his hands.

He was sound asleep, dead to the world, completely unconscious. She probably should have been mad at another missed opportunity but seeing him curled up there was so endearing she couldn't help but smile and snap a photograph on her phone to be sent to Sara. She would certainly appreciate the teasing ammunition.


	4. Chapter 4

Returning to the city by the bay was always a spiritual experience for Sara. She would breathe in that special san Francisco air and close her eyes tight as she let memories wash over her; dipping her feet in the cool water of the bay while watching the sun go down, riding the rickety trams, seizing every single second for fear of wasting her life, learning to surf and building bonfires on the beach, catching fireflies and sipping coffee with her now husband Mr Gil Grissom.

A smile tugged at her mouth as she pictured how they were back then, how the touch of his hand had sent her emotions into overdrive and her heart into turmoil, how she had spent the rest of her life completely under his spell.

The golden gate bridge came into view as her cab made its way to her hotel. Its might imposing itself on the horizon, the endless stream of cars crossing over it and the waves crashing into the shore at its feet were all so familiar to her it was like stepping back into another time in her life.

She had once called these streets home, she could recall that moment of excitement when she crossed the bridge for the first time on her own, when she cautiously rode on the trams to her first apartment. She could remember the joy that had swelled in her soul when she looked out of her tiny bedroom window and saw the sun setting over the bay. She could remember her neighbour Lenny and his almost obsessive love for the 49-er's. he had once took her to a game, even lending her one of his rather massive shirt's that she actually still had at the bottom of one of her drawers back home. She wondered briefly if he was still there, still supporting his beloved team with every breath he took.

She had always loved the freedom of this city. The laid back California attitude mixed with the eclectic individuality had suited her perfectly. She would spend her spare time reading in various coffee shops, they seemed to sprout out of nowhere and take on their own unique personality.

The cab slowed to a stop outside a fresh white townhouse with huge windows and a sign over the door welcoming guests. This was her go to hotel whenever she came to the city, the owners were the most welcoming and friendly men she had ever met. One of the first gay couples to marry in San Francisco, she had never met a couple more in love.

Oscar was the mother hen of the two; he wrapped her in a bear hug the second she stepped through the door. It caught her off guard, especially considering she didn't expect them to remember her at all.

"Sara Sidle, my sweet little flower…. This can't be good" he prized her bag from her hands and sought out her eye contact. Somehow he always managed to get the truth from her, when she had left Vegas she came here. This place was almost a sanctuary to her and while she had tried to remain stoic in her resolve not to divulge the circumstances of her visit Oscar had somehow managed to get her spilling her soul on the sofa over wine and some divine veggie Sushi.

"I'm fine, I just have some stuff to sort out in town" she smiled a weak half-hearted smile and knew immediately he didn't buy it. He waved to his husband in the bar and guided her into the sitting room with the gentle insistence she was so familiar with.

"Tell Uncle Oscar everything" he sighed, taking the seat beside her and passing her the glass of wine dutifully provided by Tyler.

Tyler was a whisper of a man. He barely made a sound as he shifted through the hotel but he was a gifted chef and could clean like Mary Poppins on performance enhancing drugs.

"My mother is dead. I'm here to handle her estate" she finally admitted.

The words seemed so hollow, they still didn't mean much to her. The impact was yet to sink through her skin. She wondered if she had become so desensitised to death that it no longer meant anything to her but statistics and cases and DNA.

"Oh sweetness I'm so sorry, what happened to her?" Oscar squeezed her leg gently, keeping his eyes firmly focussed on hers. He was looking for the emotion that should have been seeping out of her pores, searching for the tears in her eyes that weren't there.

"She… she took her own life" she stated slowly.

Tyler was suddenly by her side, sinking into the chair beside her and taking her hand with such emotion reflected in his eyes it almost broke her heart.

"My mother committed suicide too…." He whispered "It's hardest knowing that you might have been able to stop it... to change what happened"

She could almost see the guilt gripping his soul, his furrowed brow and tensed mouth aging him somewhat as they sat there in silence for a few long moments.

"I guess I should show you to your room?" Oscar finally stated, stroking her hand one last time before he stood and moved to the door.

She met Tyler's eye before she moved from the sofa.

"It's not your fault Tyler. It's not _our_ fault" she reassured with a sad smile.

He simply nodded and she left him there, staring at his hands with the weight of the world resting on his shoulders. She knew better than most that sometimes the best thing you can do for someone who is grieving is to let them have their alone time. She followed Oscar up the stairs to the top of the house, she always requested a room with a view and this hotel never disappointed.

"Gave you the best room in the house, I know how you love that bay in the moonlight" he winked, placing her bags on the floor by the window. "You remember the rules I'm sure and breakfast starts at 7!"

He grinned and rubbed his hands together before enveloping her in a hug again.

"Thank you Oscar, for everything" she smiled, she loved how homely this hotel felt and how welcome they made her feel. "You know… there are over 100 suicides in San Francisco every year, Tyler doesn't have to feel responsible"

Oscar nodded as he left the room and Sara exhaled long and slow. She crossed the dimly lit room and opened the full length windows, stepping out onto the tiny rooftop balcony with the glorious view of the bay. The sight never failed to take her breath away; it was something you simply couldn't find in Vegas. That city was go, go, go all the time. The serenity of nature simply didn't feature and even although San Francisco was a buzzing bohemian city it still possessed the ability to make her sink into her seat and sigh.

A light knocking at the door broke through her thoughts and she found Tyler on the other side with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate. They sat in companionable silence on the balcony, watching the orange sun make its way slowly across the sky until it was almost kissing the surface of the water.

"I barely knew my mother" he began quietly, his eyes fixed on the horizon. "But she called me the day before she died - I refused to speak to her."

Now Sara knew where the guilt had come from but she was well aware that parental relationships could be strained to say the least.

"Why wouldn't you speak to her?" she sipped the drink in her hands, casting her eyes over the tiny stars beginning to appear in the deep blue sky.

"We didn't have much of a relationship. She pretty much disowned me when she found out I was gay… I never took her calls; they were usually drunken rambles and abuse"

"Then you were justified, sometimes it's better to walk away" she said sadly.

She had walked away from her mother for a long time. When she was struggling with her own demons she ignored every call from the hospital, she ripped up every letter. She was lucky that she had learned to deal with her mother before this happened, she was lucky she had been able to salvage something of a relationship with her before it was too late.

"I just wish I could have taken that call, maybe she was calling looking for forgiveness…" tears shimmered on his eyes, threatening to fall any moment.

"Even if she was, would you have been able to give her that?"

Tyler shook his head and surrendered to the tears. It was a little intimidating dealing with someone else's grief like that; she recognised that that was how she should feel. They should be comforting each other, sharing memories and regrets but she couldn't seem to open that vault. She comforted Tyler who apologised before leaving the room. It was genuinely the most she had ever spoken to him.

With an exhausted sigh she threw herself down on the soft bed, satin sheets slipped under her body, fur pillows tickled her fingers and the fresh cotton of the duvet brushed her cheek, it felt like lying on a cloud. She was instantly drifting away, having to force her body off the bed and into the bathroom to get changed.

It would be another few hours at least before Grissom arrived; she cleaned her toothbrush absentmindedly as she caught her own eye in the massive mirror above the sink. She stared at her reflection, wondering if she looked like her mother at all. She had never seen a photograph of her as a young woman, although she would have been around her age when Sara was taken away.

The images she had of her mother back then were always distorted somehow, she would picture coming home from school to find the house a hive of activity and her mother dancing around with a smile on her face but she could never see her tortured eyes. No matter how hard she tried she could never find a whole image of her mother.

Genetics predicted that she probably did look a little like her mother, they had the same hair colour. Her mother always let her hair flow freely down her back, sometimes twisting delicate braids into it or lacing daisies through it. She had a vivid image of tying daisies in her mother's hair one sunny afternoon; she must have been about 5 or 6 years old and so contented and happy. It was one of the last memories she had of a happy time, it had all gone downhill from there.

A shiver snaked up her spine as she continued to stare at herself, with a sigh she twisted her hair into a hairband and went back into the bedroom. The bay was still shining in the distance, the cool breeze drifting through the open windows suddenly making her feel cold and uncomfortable.

Pressing the doors closed and latching them together she checked the bedroom door was locked and glanced at her cell phone, a message from Robyn blinking in the dim light. She couldn't help but smile at the image of Greg sleeping soundly beside little Joel, he would make a great father one day. He had a natural ability to bond with young children and a sentimentality that lent itself to being a loving, nurturing father.

As she felt her body sink into the bed the last thought that floated through her mind was her own father, she often wondered how he would feel about her life choices. Would he be proud of her achievements? Would he approve of her husband? Would he be disappointed that she hadn't followed his footsteps? Would she even care?

It was easy to create an unrealistic memory of someone when they weren't around. Her father had never been a massive part of her life but the few memories she had of him were happy ones. That could always be down to the traumatic way she had lost him, holding onto good memories and supressing bad ones was a defence mechanism. One that she was incredibly talented at.

She drifted off into a torturous sleep, soothed by the sound of the waves and the lavender scented pillows. As the sun filtered through the thin curtains and birdsong filled her ears she found herself waking slowly and naturally, something she had never done in Vegas.

A steady knock at the door forced her to climb from the soft sheets and approach the door, the form of her husband shadowed the doorway and the tension that she hadn't even realised had been present in her body for the past two days escaped her in a long drawn out sigh. She collapsed into his arms, breathing in his scent and clinging to the warmth of his body and she finally felt the loss that had been evading her. She finally felt the tears straining at her eyes and the loss filling her soul.

She finally felt the emptiness she had been waiting for.


	5. Chapter 5

Grissom had been lucky, his flight got him to San Francisco in the early hours of the morning before the sun began to rise and the city came to life. His timing had been perfect, a moment or two and he would have been grounded for at least a day.

The long flight had taken it out of him, he felt exhausted to the core of his being as he waited patiently in the line for security. This seemed to take longer each time he came back to the US, not that he would complain about it normally. He recognised the need for such measures and was generally pleased with the process but this time he wanted nothing more than to go to his wife and hold her in his arms.

Outside he waited for a cab, watching the happy reunions and tearful farewells. An airport was one of the few places you could witness a rainbow of emotions without moving position. So many people condensed into one space for so many different reasons, it was an anthropologist's dream.

His cab eventually pulled up in front of a white 5 story Victorian building complete with window boxes and wrought iron balustrades. He glanced around briefly, noting the emptiness of the street and the dewy mist of sunrise beginning to settle over the waters of the bay. With a deep breath he took the steps towards the doorway and pressed the doorbell; hoping it didn't make too much commotion at this ungodly hour.

A huge man in a pale blue vest and white boxers filled the doorway in a matter of minutes, his short dark hair sticking out at ridiculous angles as he tackled the locks on the double doorway.

"I'd love to help a world weary traveller but we have no vacancies"

Despite the man's declaration he still steered Grissom inside with a warm smile, closing the door behind him and switching the light on.

"You're welcome to the couch until the real morning" he smirked, gesturing to the living area, lavishly furnished and brimming with mementos and photographs. Grissom's eyes scanned the room involuntarily, taking in every detail as quick as a flash as Oscar disappeared to 'make himself decent'. The white marble fireplace with vases of fresh lilies on either side, the numerous certificates and awards on the wall, the collection of magazines on the glass coffee table… it was almost like stepping into someone's home.

His eyes fixed on an image taking pride of place on the sideboard behind the sofa as his host returned, brown slacks and a pink shirt replacing his underwear.

"That is my husband, lover and right hand man Tyler" he beamed, clearly proud of his other half. "My name is Oscar - Owner, receptionist, cleaner and entertainment of this humble establishment. Welcome"

Oscar reached out his hand to shake Grissom's and nodded his head, sashaying behind the reception desk and brandishing his pen like a sword.

"Gil Grissom – I won't be needing a room…" he answered.

"Well you sure don't look like a salesman Mr Grissom and if you are… I need to get me some of your work ethic if you start this early!"

Grissom smiled and shook his head, approaching the reception desk.

"I'm here with Ms Sidle actually… she's expecting me" he explained.

Oscar raised an eyebrow "Sara didn't strike me as the type to need gentleman callers at this hour!"

"Well that's good. I'm her husband"

A slow realisation dawned over Oscar and before Grissom knew what was happening he was wrestled into a bear hug, Oscar's arms closing around him. He had no means of escape and had no idea how he should be reacting to such an invasion of personal space.

"You know, I should have known! I have heard so much about you!"

Oscar finally released his hold on Grissom's body and took a step back, his wide beaming smile making him feel even more uncomfortable.

"You have?" Curiosity got the better of him, as much as he wanted to run for the stairs to escape the risk of another hug he wanted to know what Sara had told him.

"Sara… she's my angel. Just don't tell her I said that, I can't stand up to those glares any better than you probably can my friend!" he winked.

Grissom nodded and passed Oscar a knowing smile, taking a note of Sara's room number and quickly escaping from his clutches. He wasn't used to over-zealous hotel owners or random displays of affection. He was one of the most antisocial people he knew of, his personal space boundaries could cross state lines.

He reached the top of the stairs and steeled himself outside her door before knocking. He wasn't sure what he was going to find on the other side. He had run through numerous possibilities in his head on the journey over here since the moment he took the call.

He had been in the middle of categorising a never before seen species of ant when he got her message. He had sensed the tension in her voice immediately and despite the sensitive nature of his work and the time constraints attached to cataloguing the colony he had left shortly after returning her call. After years of putting his career before all else and being disappointed with the rewards he was finally learning to put something, or rather, someone else first.

She looked exhausted when she answered the door, her already pale skin looked positively chalky, a pink tinge was present in the whites of her glistening eyes. Her lip quivered momentarily and then she crumbled into his arms.

The weight of her body was nothing compared to the weight of her emotions. He could feel her pain like it was his own, the guilt, the sorrow and the regret filling his own bloodstream as he desperately tried to absorb her grief.

"I didn't even know her Gil" she sobbed "how can I grieve for a woman I didn't even know?"

Grissom knew he didn't have the answer. She was grieving for the relationship they could have had, one she craved and always vowed to create. She was grieving for the missed opportunities and the mother she wished she had had.

He had never had the chance to meet Laura, although he had heard a lot about her, none of it particularly good. She had given Sara life but it had been a life fraught with difficulties and a desperate fear of mental illness. Sara was painfully aware of the warning signs of schizophrenia, an illness she was terrified of suffering. She had also spent an unhealthy amount of time combing over the genetic link in an effort to better understand the biology, it was one of the main reason's she chose not to have children of her own.

He was one of the very few people she had shared those fears with, perhaps the only person. That was why when she left Vegas to face up to her 'ghosts' he had simply let her go. He understood what she meant by that phrase, he understood that she needed to do it on her own and what she needed from his was time and patience and an understanding voice at the end of the phone.

This time she didn't need to be alone and he was thankful that he could be there to support her. She needed his strong arms around her and his gentle words to soothe her.

He gently steered her to the bed, the sobs had subsided but the heavy sorrow in her eyes remained. They perched on the edge of the bed, daylight beginning to flicker through the thin curtains and toy with the shadows in the room.

"I keep trying to find a memory of her, a happy one you know? She must have been happy once"

Grissom nodded, allowing her to continue uninterrupted.

"I can't find anything Gil. I can't remember her smile, I can't hear her laugh, I don't remember if she used to read to me or if we had a song we'd sing together. I can't remember holding her hand or the smell of her perfume…what kind of a daughter does that make me? I can't remember her at all"

"it's normal for your brain to supress memories like that Sara, as a method of defending itself… it's almost like post traumatic memory loss only you've shut down the part that upset you most… the happy times. They'll come back. It doesn't make you a bad daughter"

She was shaking her head, clearly rushing ahead of herself again as her mind worked through the complex emotions she was feeling.

"How can I give her a eulogy? I know more about your mother than mine! Hell, I know more about everyone's mother than mine" she laughed a humourless laugh "Greg's mom's favourite flower is the tulip, Catherine's mom bakes fantastic cookies, Nicks mom grows vegetables in her garden, Henry's mom's favourite colour is blue…. I don't know my mom's favourite colour! What if I have her coffin lined in red satin when her favourite colour is blue?"

"I don't think she'll mind Sara…"

"Wouldn't she? I don't know…"

"You know these things don't matter. The fact that you're here and doing this for her will help her find peace" he muttered quietly, attempting to calm her without belittling her concerns.

She sighed then, contemplating his words quietly.

"You're right" she declared "I'm sorry…I was being ridiculous. You're right"

He kissed her gently on the forehead, stroking a strand of unruly hair away from her face. Their eyes met for a long moment, communicating silently how glad they were to be together again. He never actually realised how much he missed her until he saw her again. The dull ache in his soul, the emptiness he felt in his heart seemed to evaporate as soon as he laid eyes on his beautiful wife once more. Every time he had to leave he left a little part of himself behind and he didn't feel whole until he was back where he belonged. He just wished it could have been under better circumstances.

After her outburst of emotion Sara felt the need to shower. She did so frequently when she was suffering from emotional trauma like this, as though the water beating down on her cleansed more than just her skin. While she was gone Grissom opened the doors to the balcony and slipped out into the cool early morning air.

The bay looked the same as it always had. Glistening under the deep orange glow of the rising sun, reflecting the world like a mirror. He had fallen in love here, with both the city and with Sara. He often wondered how different his life would have been had he surrendered to his desires in the world renowned city of love. Sara had been a huge part of his life since then, an infatuation he couldn't shrug off, a kindred spirit, his soul mate.

She emerged behind him, the smell of her shampoo and the scent of her skin filling his senses, lavender with a touch of honey, so familiar yet so new to him. The humidity of her body seeped through his pores as she snuggled under his arm and joined him watching the bay with that same sense of nostalgia he had.

Grissom glanced down at her, her hair still wet and already beginning to curl in the crisp air, a pinkish hue now settling on her cheeks, the silk robe wrapped tightly around her body. Sensing his examination she turned her eyes to his with a gentle smile turning the corners of her mouth.

"Thank you" she whispered "thank you for coming"

He dipped his head towards her, savouring a beautiful moment of silence before he met her lips with his own. He kissed her gently and slowly, his fingers lightly stroking the fabric of her robe as she pressed against him.

"Do you remember this place?" she whispered, her forehead resting against his.

"This hotel?" he questioned, suddenly wondering if he should. He scanned his memory banks for a glimmer of recognition.

"No!" Sara laughed the sound so welcome it made his heart somersault in his chest. "Down there…"

She gestured to a small park across the road. Tree's blocked his view of the water but in his mind's eye he could picture it like it was yesterday; The sound of a busker's guitar waving through the air, people crossing their paths with strollers and dogs, the warm summer sunshine kissing their skin as the chatted and laughed under the massive Chesnutt tree nursing huge coffee cups in their hands. Their favourite coffee shop was perched on the edge of the walkway in a brightly painted beach hut. He wondered if it even existed anymore, chances are it was now a tourist store or a sunglass hut or closed down completely, these places changed hands so much it was almost impossible to guess its fate.

"We used to get coffee around here" He stated somewhat unnecessarily.

Sara nodded "it's one of the reason's I booked this hotel… that and the fabulous view"


	6. Chapter 6

The morning brought glorious sunshine streaming in through the windows. Grissom slept soundly beside her, trying to catch up on what little sleep he could. one hand rested lightly on her waist, his gentle breathing and rhythmic heartbeat soothed and relaxed her. despite the restless feeling that had become an almost constant companion of hers she could happily spend the rest of the day right here in his arms.

Eventually he sensed her watching him and lazily opened one sparkling blue eye to meet hers.

"Morning…" she cooed with a gentle smile.

He mirrored her expression immediately, turning onto his side to trace his fingers lightly across her skin. A soft smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he regarded her sleepily.

"Good morning" he whispered, placing a kiss on her forehead "you ready for today?"

Sara hadn't really thought about what the day would entail. She had promised Mary that she would stop by the centre as quickly as possible to sign papers and take ownership of her mothers belongings. She seemed keen to get the ball rolling quickly.

"As I'll ever be" she sighed, slipping carefully out of bed and opening the balcony doors wide inviting the sounds of birdsong and chatter and traffic into their room. She took a deep breath, filling her lungs with the crisp air surrounding her and cast her eyes over the horizon slowly, drinking in the view as carefully as she could.

A gentle knock at the door tore her away from the bay, she padded across the room passing a questioning glance towards Grissom who responded with a shrug. Oscar filled the doorway, his beaming smile and friendly demeanour immediately contagious.

"Good morning sunshine!" he grinned, swivelling the tray in his hands "brought you breakfast in bed! Tyler's orders"

He winked and placed the tray on the table by the door. with an exaggerated bow he backed out of the room. Sara smiled at Grissom and raised her eyebrows as she closed the door and fetched the tray.

she carefully brought the tray across to the bed, it was laden with luxuries; A stack of warm blueberry pancakes, two hot cups of tea and some croissants and bagels, freshly squeezed orange juice in champagne flutes and an array of fresh fruit to liven up the muesli and cream, not to mention the double chocolate muffins all lovingly prepared by Tyler's own hands. It was an incredibly thoughtful gesture, Sara took a mental note to thank him for it later.

Breakfast in bed was most certainly a novelty for them both and they tucked into the feast listening to the sounds of the bay coming to life below them

"You know Tyler's mom took her own life too" Sara explained.

When she had come to this place before she had immediately clicked with Oscar, his confidence and over friendly personality were infectious. He had helped bring her out of the dark internal place she had retreated into and she had counted him as a friend ever since. Tyler on the other hand was much more aloof and detached. He prefferred to hide out in the kitchen flexing his creative muscles on amazing culinary creations and having as little to do with the general public as possible. The interactions she had with him had therefore been minimal and restricted to mostly polite passing conversation.

This time around she had found something in Tyler that he had kept under wraps in the years she had known him. He was actually a considerate, kind and thoughtful man with his own secret mother issues.

"Its sadly very common" Grissom remarked while spreading some soft cheese onto half a bagel.

Sara cast her memory back to when she was at her lowest ebb. When she knew she was decending into dark places of her mind that she had never wanted to explore. She had stopped caring about anything, her entire existance became cloaked in a sadness that she couldn't shake off and she had found herself swimming against the tide as she tried to fight it. Back then she had lost sight of the value of life, she saw so much death and misery that she couldnt hang onto the good things in her life. As she had spiralled further and further into her own torment there had been one thing, one person she could cling to who kept her from disappearing altogether.

"I know what it feels like to be in that place... to be so low you wonder if there's any point in living." Sara muttered into her teacup, avoiding Grissom's eye. "I can't imagine how it feels when you have nobody to live for"

"Do we have ever have anyone to live for? In the end we can't take our connections with us. We can't let our lives be consumed by things we wish we had. It's within our nature to crave human affection, attention...to need someone...to love. Without it we feel obsolete but to live _for_ someone?"

Grissom spoke without fully understanding what she was saying. By the time the penny finally dropped that she was talking about him she was already onto defensive mode.

"Sometime's its all you have Grissom, sometimes having one person who cares about you is enough to keep you going!"

He nodded, not really knowing how to respond to her honesty and sadness without making things worse. He had always struggled to deal with the emotional side of Sara. He had learned that sometimes just being there was the best support he could offer her.

They lazed around and reluctantly dressed, stepping out of their room some hours later ready for the dreaded visit to the hospital. Oscar waved them off with his characteristic enthusiasm and Sara led the way insisting Grissom had to relive the experience of the rickety trams.

After an impromptu tour of the city Sara relented and hailed a cab. She recognised that her need to ride the trams under the guise of nostalgia was more likely avoidance but Grissom with his gentle acceptance and unwavering support had gone along with it every step of the way until the sun was high in the sky and the lunchtime rush began to overwhelm the city.

The cab pulled up to a set of imposing iron gates. Sara felt herself inadvertently sinking back into her seat feeling intimidated by the restrictive nature of the place. Grissom's hand on her knee tightened slightly, a reassuring gesture she was incredibly thankful for. When security let them through they snaked up a massive gravel driveway towards the main building. It was an imposing sandstone building, monopolising the horizon with its magnitude. It would have been a beautiful, regal building in its heyday. She could almost picture the scene although she suspected that back then there wasn't bars on every window and a secure entry system.

She didn't need to vocalise the fear she felt welling up inside her as she stood before the building. Grissom knew how places like this made her feel. He knew how the smell infected her, how the patients eyes burned into her and how no matter how hard she tried the staff always reminded her of lies and deceit.

Mary, having been informed of their arrival, met them on the front steps. She was a small round woman with black cornrowed hair pulled tightly away from her face, her bright red lipstick stood in stark contrast to her deep dark skin and she showed them a set of shining white teeth as she approached them swiftly with an outstretched hand.

"Ms Sidle I presume? Its nice to meet you at last, I wish it could be under better circumstances"

Sara shook her head and tried hard to supress the feeling of guilt building up as a lump in her throat.

"Me too" she nodded, gesturing towards Grissom who was standing awkwardly but silently by her side. "this is my husband, Gil Grissom"

Mary extended her welcome to Grissom while Sara cast her eyes over the vast building. Not a lot had changed since she was last here, even the same eyes stared vacantly from the windows, their gaze creeping across her skin. The same pretence of normality filled the air when she was well aware that inside she would find nothing akin to normality.

"What happened to Mrs Northen?" Sara asked.

She had been the manager when she had last visited. A stern no-nonsense woman with wiry grey hair and a thin straight nose perched between unforgiving grey eyes. As much as Sara failed to gel with the woman personally she understood that her detached nature worked well for the kind of work she was required to do and in the end she had actually been a great support and counsel for Sara when she was here.

"Oh Francis retired 2 years ago" Mary dismissed with a wave of her hand "come into my office, we'll get the paperwork out of the way.

She was already heading back into the building turning at the top to watch them impatiently. Sara scanned the surrounding tress, unsuccessfully hiding the high security fencing along the perimeter. She wasn't sure she wanted to be signing papers yet, it felt a bit rushed when she hadn't had time to acclimatise herself to her surroundings yet, when she still had so many questions swimming around in her brain.

"Sara?" Grissom prompted carefully, his fingers lightly brushing her arm and pulling her back to reality. For a moment she met his eye trying to decide exactly what she wanted, a slight frown furrowing her brow until she was struck by inspiration and turned her attention slowly to Mary.

"I'd like to see my mothers room please" she muttered.

"There's plenty of time for that!" Mary grinned, dismissing her request without offering it any kind of consideration.

Sara made no effort to move, Grissom sensing her reluctance stepped forward and spoke to Mary in a firm authoritarian voice that was still somehow polite and calm.

"my wife would like to see her mothers room. Im sure it wouldn't be too much trouble"

Mary hesitated slightly, tilting on her heels and darting her eys inside before looking at her watch. Sara held her breath as she waited for her decision. She was astounded that she felt so intimidated by this woman, she would be in her rights to demand access to her mothers room if she wanted to, a fact that both she and Mary were aware of but somehow being in this place made her meek and submissive.

"I need to do the drugs run in 30 minutes Miss Sidle… if you would just…"

"Show us the room and we will be out of your hair for a while Miss Bishop" Grissom interjected with a soothing smile. He made it clear that they intended to get their own way no matter what and Sara suddenly felt even more grateful that he was there, fighting her corner and defending her rights when she found herself paralyzed by fear and grief.

Mary huffed out a breath and marched back down the stairs with a wave of her hand indicating they were to follow her. with a thankful smile Sara fell into step beside Grissom, following Mary down a small concrete path through the trees. They emerged into a clearing with a collection of small single storey buildings arranged around a central patch of grass. It was clearly designed to mirror a suburban community, a small cul de sac in the middle of an institution and it felt completely surreal.

"Laura was in the middle of a rehabilitation programme" Mary explained "only a few patients are given the chance to have a place on this programme"

Sara scoffed outwardly despite herself. She hardly thought that her mother could be counted as lucky. It was highly likely that she would still be alive if she had been under the stricter supervision of the main hospital. If Mary noticed her cynicism she gave no indication, simply continued to trudge along the path and fiddling with her bunch of keys. Sara studied the setup carefully, it felt like she had stepped right inside George Orwell's novel '1984'. Camera's were perched on tree's and lamp posts watching every move they made, it made her skin crawl and a shiver snake up her spine. Mary led them to a yellow painted door in the centre of the small complex, a number 4 placed in the centre.

"Here we are" She declared with a sigh, turning a small brass key in the lock and swinging the door open wide. "press the intercom on the wall when you're through, I'll send someone to bring you back"

The building suddenly seemed huge as she took it in. Surrounded by tree's on 3 sides the white building had large windows overlooking the 'community' and a small bench perched outside. Sara wondered if her mother had sat on that bench pondering the meaning of life or chatting to the other occupants of these little homes on sunny afternoons. When she had visited here they would always walk around the vast gardens at the back of the main building, the sounds of nature and the breeze on her skin had been therapeutic for her and she hoped it had been for her mother too. They had chatted openly about anything but the past, it was a taboo subject between them and somehow they had both established that without any need to vocalise it. She tried to hold on to the memory of walking with her in the warm sunshine as she swallowed the lump in her throat and peered in at the house nervously.

Grissom placed a gentle arm around her and nodded as Mary headed back along the path leaving them standing outside the doorway of Laura Sidles last home.


	7. Chapter 7

Sara loitered in the doorway suddenly overcome by a sense of fear she hadn't anticipated. It seemed dark in there, dark and foreboding like something deep down inside her was telling her going in was a bad idea. Her breath trembled in her chest, her heart raced at a million miles an hour as Grissom rested his hand gently at the base of her spine. Spurred on by his support she took a deep breath and stepped across the doorway into the suffocating little room.

It took a few long moments for her eyes to adjust to the space; shadows seemed to cling to the corners like uninvited guests. The room was modestly furnished monopolised by a loveseat in the centre of the room and a huge overstuffed armchair by the window. A television and an overflowing bookcase completed the room and Sara found herself scanning the titles and wondering if her mother was an avid a reader as she was. She tried to picture her curled up in the armchair with a book nestled on her lap and the sunlight highlighting the subtle red tones in her hair and the lines of her face.

Sara carefully stepped across the hardwood flooring, scanning the room much like she would a crime scene. The walls were painted an off white colour making them look like they were uncared for and dirty. A thin yellow border ran along the top in line with the ceiling and she wondered if that was maybe her mother's favourite colour or if every one of these tiny lodgings was painted the same way.

A few paintings adorned the walls; a vase of flowers, a cheap attempt at a Monet rip-off and an undistinguishable landscape on the wall closest to her. Sara felt about as far removed from her mother as she ever had as she stared at those images. She wandered around the room searching for something personal she could cling to, something that would make her feel closer to her mother but it had no soul. This place was empty of more than just a life.

With a sigh she moved through the door on her right and found herself in a bedroom. A small sized double bed took pride of place in the centre of the room, a wardrobe sat in an alcove against the wall and a dressing table sat perched beside the window. Sara was drawn to the table, sitting down lightly on the stool and running her hands over the rich, dark wooden top. Experience told her that people often kept their most private and personal things in their bedroom, the collection of ornate little drawers could be where she would find the connection she was desperately craving.

The view from the window was of a lone willow tree, its branches draping to the ground like teardrops suspended in time. She watched a pair of finches dance and twirl among them before landing on their nest and settling down for the afternoon. Grissom crept into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed and regarding her carefully. He was worried about her; she could sense it in every glance and gentle touch. He had never known how to deal with the emotional aspect of death; he saw it as merely another stage of life a person had to go through. He saw the peace in death which was ironic given that he had spent so much of his life dealing with the horrors of it.

"Are you ok?" he asked her quietly as though the walls had ears.

"It's just…. There's nothing of her here. Where's her personality? Where's her soul? This is just a room"

She carefully opened the first drawer on the dresser, her eyes scanning the jumble of papers and trinkets. There was nothing surprising here; pamphlets and junk mail she'd received, appointment letter and reminders, a handful of takeout menus. Her mother never threw out anything. Her hand closed around a tiny golden box, a ruby ring nestled on a cushion of velvet sat inside. It looked antique, most likely it had belonged to some far removed relative of years gone by. She stared at the deep red stone as the sunlight danced across it. She wondered if it had some significance, maybe it had belonged to her great, great grandmother. It was possible it held a family secret or a fascinating story she would never learn. She placed it carefully on the table top, returning to the drawer. She fished out some more costume jewellery; a beaded necklace and some faux pearls. A smile worked its way across her face when the familiar image of her wedding day came into view.

She held the photograph in her hands staring at herself and Grissom smiling out at her. The fact that her mother had kept hold of it meant more to her than she could have imagined. She was surprised any of the things she had sent still survived today.

"That was a good day..." she whispered, passing it to her husband with a smile.

The second drawer contained much the same clutter and jumble of belongings. She found an old address book, placing it carefully inside her purse to comb through later.

The bottom drawer seemed to hold her most personal things. A handful of newspaper clippings with no obvious reason, tiny leather bound poetry book with a pressed flower inside and an inscription from her father, her wedding ring looped on a fine gold chain along with a cross that was inlaid with a tiny diamond. At the bottom of the drawer she found a collection of old photographs. They were mostly images she hadn't seen before; her first day at school, her brother playing football, a picnic on a clear summers day and a barbeque in the garden. She remembered those parties, people filling every available space and milling around with drinks and burgers. She would always be sent to bed early where she would sit at her window and peer out at all the people smiling and laughing. She chuckled slightly under her breath at the display of 80's fashion and passed the image to Grissom before pulling out some more.

She sifted through the grainy images letting the memories wash over her. Christmas day when her brother got a train set he had broken before the end of the day, the Easter pageant when she refused to wear a bonnet and stuck her tongue out at the photographer, the huge trophy her brother's football team had won, her first science fair in the third grade. She was beginning to form the good memories she had been searching for.

There was one last image at the bottom of the drawer, one that had been torn up and lovingly taped back together. The image was of a little girl around 4 years old with light brown pigtails tied in pink ribbons and a very well loved bear clutched to her chest. She stared at the girl, searching for a glimmer of recognition. On the back of the image was simply the name 'Amy' and a date - March 1980. She slipped the photograph into her purse beside the address book, suspecting it had some kind of significance. The only thing in the third drawer was a few tattered old letters bound together with an elastic band. She was about to delve into the contents when Mary's voice filled the room.

"Ms Sidle... I've sent Richard to collect you. It's almost time for shift change and we really should get those papers signed"

Sara's eyes darted to Grissom and then to the letters in her hands. She resolved that they could wait, slipping them into her purse along with the rest of her collection.

"We'll be right out" she stated to the air.

Grissom waited for her to put all the discarded paperwork away and then followed her out of the house and back into the sunshine. Richard was a burly gigantor of a security guard, probably enlisted to deal with the most violent patients. He didn't say much as he led them back to the main building and directed them to Mary's office.

Mary was on the telephone when they arrived but she waved them through with a smile and gestured for them to take the two empty chairs across the desk from her. Sara and Grissom dutifully sunk into the chairs, casting their eyes around the office with some interest.

Bookcases lined the walls like it had once been a library, she wondered briefly if one of them opened a secret passageway or panic room. The desk took up almost all of the available floor space and the wall behind it was covered with framed diplomas and certificates. Two huge arched windows's looked out onto the back gardens of the building adorned with statues and flowers. Butterflies fluttered around a buddleia bush. Grissom had once told her the name meant 'butterfly bush' and now she could see why.

"Now..." Mary declared after signing off from the call. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"I wasn't really looking for anything..." Sara declared, taken aback by the woman's accusatory tone. She narrowed her eyes suspiciously in her direction. "I didn't really find anything... official though. No passport or birth certificate, no bills or financial records..."

"Well we keep those things here in a locker" Mary explained "less risk of them being destroyed or misplaced that way"

Sara nodded her understanding, it made sense. She was surprised to find so many of her mother's paper belongings survived this long. She filled in the paperwork only half listening to Mary's endless drabble. When she was finished Mary handed her a security pass and a small brass key.

"Take as long as you need to sort through her things. I know she doesn't have much. I'll have the locker emptied for you tomorrow"

Mary shook Sara and Grissom's hands and they thanked her for her time despite Sara's reluctance to trust her. She and Grissom waited outside for their cab watching the fading sunlight as a somewhat melancholy mood settling between them. Grissom swung his arm around her shoulders, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"I'm very proud of you" he whispered into her hair as he held her close.

"For what?" she frowned, stroking a hand across his chest.

"For everything" Grissom smiled, his clear blue eyes sparkling and combatting her eye roll "today couldn't have been easy"

"I couldn't have done it without you" she smiled, holding his gaze for a few long moments as the cab pulled up beside them.

The short drive across town took less than half the time their adventure earlier had. They pulled up to a small blue Bistro a couple of blocks from the hotel and settled in for the dinner time rush. A dainty blonde waitress took their order, the name 'Amy' proudly presented on her shiny gold name badge. It reminded Sara of the mystery photograph and letters in her purse. She slipped the image out and placed it on the table warranting a frown from Grissom.

"Is this you?" he asked, raising a questioning eyebrow and inspecting the photograph carefully.

"No, that's the thing... I have no idea who she is"

Grissom cast his careful eye over the little girl smiling out at him. He took in the pale freckled skin and warm brown eyes; he tried to picture how she would look now as an adult. He had a talent for picturing people this way. She would probably have grown into an attractive woman, the pale complexion and flecks of green in her eyes would be the same. In this day and age it was likely she would have changed hair colour and could have personalised a limitless number of physical traits. There was nothing particularly distinctive about her that would make her stand out from the crowd.

"She looks a little like you, a cousin perhaps?"

Sara pursed her lips and focussed her eyes out of the window searching her memory banks for relatives. Social services had found none and she couldn't remember many children frequenting their home when she was a child. The house was always packed full of people but it was strictly adults only.

"I don't have any relatives" she stated, folding the first letter out of the envelope and scanning the return address.

"Sandra Clark" she declared as though Grissom should automatically know what that meant.

She read through the contents quickly, feeling a little like she was prying into her mother's private life more than she should until she spotted another reference to the mysterious Amy.

"I had an update on our angel Amy today, she's 4 years old now who knew time would slip by so fast?" she read aloud, quirking a suspicious eyebrow towards Grissom.

"Our Amy?" Grissom remarked, instantly as intrigued as she was.

Sara studied the letter, drinking in the words over and over again. Sandra made reference to the photograph Sara had found too and asked about her and her brother by name. This woman must have been close to her mother and somehow Amy must have been too, what didn't sit well with her was that if she was so important to them then why had she never heard of her?

With a sigh she scanned the letter once more, her eyes fixing on the date in the corner. So close to a date she had memorised for all the worst reasons.

"This is dated 4 days before my dad died" Sara whispered, the words feeling like chalk in her throat. Grissom immediately raised his eyes to hers; surprise, fear and confusion all reflecting back to her in the endless oceans of his eyes.

"Is there anything to suggest the letter could be related to it?" Grissom asked, taking the letter gingerly from her hands and reading through it. Sara shrugged, she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to delve into the circumstances surrounding his death. She had worked so hard at supressing it but the way things were unravelling in front of her only convinced her that there was a lot more to this story than met the eye.

"I guess I should check out this Sandra woman? She probably knows a lot more about this than I do"


	8. Chapter 8

Greg had crept out of Joel's room some time later, tiptoeing along the small corridor and avoiding the noisy toys and creaky floorboards littered across the floor like booby traps. The nervous tension in his body twisted a knot in his stomach as he peered inside her bedroom; she was curled up on one side of the huge bed surrounded by pillows of every description. The room was decorated in soft pinks and crème's, a completely feminine space with white antique furniture filling the spaces and a huge patio door leading out into the garden on one wall.

Moonlight filtered through the window casting haunting shadows across her dark hair and pale skin and he hesitated for a moment, taking in the scene in front of him. Her eyelashes flickered in her dreams, her mouth curling into a soft smile and her hair fell softly over her face, whispering around her nose. The sheet draped across her slender form, clinging to the shapes of her body like a second skin. It felt a little strange creeping into bed beside her while she slept, he placed his pants and shirt on the table beside him and slipped under the sheet running a gentle hand along the slender curve of her collarbone.

A sigh made itself known on her lips and she moved in the bed until she was pressed against him, the warmth of her body and the scent of her skin overwhelming him. He pressed a kiss on her shoulder, taking a deep breath of her aura.

"I thought you'd never come to bed" she muttered sleepily as he nuzzled against her neck, his breath shivering across a bare patch of back.

"I thought you would be asleep"

His fingers danced a trail down her arm, lacing between her fingers carefully as she twisted in his arms to face him properly. Robyn quirked an eyebrow at him, her hands rested on his chest and the glint in her eye enveloped him in a heat that left him breathless and quivering in anticipation as she gently kissed him.

"Sleep is over-rated"

He was suddenly incredibly nervous; he could feel the blood pumping through his body like a freight train as her nails lightly scraped across the muscles of his shoulders. With trembling hands he slowly unfastened the dainty buttons of her pajamas, hesitating slightly when she held her breath. A quiver crossed her lips but she nodded her head, resting a hand on his cheek so gently he could have melted into it.

"I haven't... you know, since Joel" she whispered, clearly incredibly nervous. He could feel her trembling against him as he danced his hand across the soft milky skin of her abdomen. Greg dipped his head to her neck, kissing toward her ear before breathlessly whispering to her.

"We don't have to"

But the lust had descended between them; it was evident in their darkened pupils and careful touches. Her skin was so smooth that he couldn't help but let his hands explore and she smelled so good it was impossible not to taste the sweet honey flavor that dabbled her skin.

"I… I want to" she purred, wrapping her legs around his body and pressing against him.

They surrendered their bodies to each other in a tender and powerful culmination of months' worth of building tension withering into each-other's arms in a breathless mess of tangled limbs and desperate kisses. Greg fell asleep holding her in his arms, feeling her heart pounding through her chest in time with his.

He woke in the morning to glorious sunshine and an empty bed. The sheets felt like they were floating around his body, the smell of flowers and freshly cut grass waving through the open patio doors. He stretched out his legs, arching his back with a groan as he tried to shake off the dew of sleep and searched around the room for his clothes, finding nothing but Robyn's clothes and trinkets, including a collection of teddy bears she had stashed inside the huge wardrobe and a drawer full of jewellery he had never seen her wear.

Robyn was in the kitchen, in a pair of tiny black shorts and a massively oversized t-shirt that draped off her shoulder as she flipped some pancakes onto a plate and drizzled maple syrup over them. She returned his kiss before nodding towards the table, juggling a multitude of plates towards it with a smile. Joel was already sitting there, drawing with a red crayon with his tongue sticking out at the side of his mouth like he was performing calculus.

"Blueberry pancakes, eggs and bacon and fruit loops for the little guy!" Robyn smiled, spreading the plates across the small dining table and running back into the kitchen for yet more maple syrup.

"You trying to give me diabetes?" he teased, snatching a small stack of the fluffy pancakes away before they were drowned in syrup. Robyn narrowed her eyes at him sending him a sarcastic smirk as she took the chair beside him.

"Did Greg have a sleepover mommy?" Joel asked wide eyed as he took in Greg's current state of undress before turning his scrutiny to Greg "where's your clothes?"

Robyn shared a bemused look with Greg as she carefully wiped a bead of milk from her son's face. He had no idea how to respond, he had never been in this situation before and it took him off guard.

"Well…uhh… sometimes when two people love each other…"

Robyn placed her hand on his, laughing at his nervousness and shaking her head.

"Yes, Greg had a sleepover. Is that ok?" she soothed, attempting to mask her amusement.

Joel shrugged, having lost interest in the subject already. He jumped down from the table and switched on the TV.

"That was easy" he sighed, relived that he dodged a bullet. The added complication of a child wasn't anything he'd been faced with before.

"I told you he'd be fine" she smiled, moving from the table to hoist Joel into her arms. "Let's get you dressed – Greg I washed your clothes I hope that's ok. Figured you might need them for work"

He grinned up at her, enjoying the feeling of being domesticated and looked after.

"I have a change in the car… but thanks"

When she disappeared into Joel's bedroom Greg cleared the plates and sheepishly crept out to retrieve his bag from the car. The sun was in full force, splitting the sky and throwing its heat into the day already. Robyn's neighbors were out cutting their grass and fetching their mail, they eyed him suspiciously as he stood on the driveway in just his boxer shorts.

Robyn and Joel were heading outside when he came back, Joel wearing shorts and a rubber ring clearly headed for the pool. She stopped and regarded him carefully as he pressed the front door closed behind him.

"You were outside…like that?" she smiled. "I would have got the bag for you, you know?"

"And deprive your neighbors of this" he smirked.

Robyn rolled her eyes and followed Joel into the garden leaving him alone in the house to get dressed. Her shower was fantastic, a proper power shower that beat the water down on him like a massage. He could have stayed there all day if there wasn't the promise of a day lounging in the sun waiting for him outside.

Robyn had a large back yard, a patio area skirting around the house framed by a lush green lawn with a pool in the far corner. Robyn had taken up residence on a lounger, massive sunglasses monopolizing her face as she read her book in the sunshine. Greg scanned the garden for Joel, unable to locate him until he was shot in the face by a water pistol and the little boy scurried between his legs giggling.

"Hey you! You messed with the wrong guy buddy – I was the water fight champion of San Gabriel in the summer of 85!"

Quick as a flash Greg grabbed the second water gun sitting on the table and gave pursuit. Joel was good though, being his garden he knew all the best routes and wobbly fence panels and before long Greg was soaked from head to toe and laying on the grass begging for surrender.

"Ok, I give! I give! Have mercy!" he laughed as Joel shot him over and over.

Robyn appeared at his side, rolling her eyes at the sight of him.

"I think he's had enough Jo-Jo… go for a swim!" she stood over him, meeting his eye before she shot him with the pistol once more "I can't believe I just had to save you from a 4yr old Greg"

"He's almost 5!" Greg justified, scrambling to his feet.

Robyn shook her head and started to walk back to her lounger as Joel jumped into the pool with his life bands, rubber ring and sunglasses all still in situ. Greg pointed to Robyn and nudged his head towards the boy who nodded enthusiastically and he wrapped his arms around her waist before looping one hand under her legs and running towards the pool.

Her arm looped around his neck as she screamed, meeting his mischievous eye before he dropped her square in the pool with a smile. Joel's laughter rung out in the air as she gasped for breath beside him, surprised by the shock and the relatively cold temperature of the water. She stood up before swimming to the edge of the pool, unable to keep the smile off her face. She crooked a finger at him, asking him to come closer but he wasn't naive of her intentions.

"No way, I know your type Ms. Morrissey! Keep dreaming!"

"Oh come on, I just want a hand out of the pool, I bashed my knee on the bottom"

She even sent him puppy dog eyes and pursed lips so he couldn't resist. He reached out his hand to help her out and she shifted her weight pulling him into the pool with an almighty splash.

He didn't think he could have got any wetter than during the water fight but he was wrong. His thin blue shirt clung to his torso, water dripped from his hair and he drew a hand across his face.

"That was uncalled for" he smiled, approaching Robyn with the intention of dunking her right back under but she slid an arm around his waist and met his eye, pressing her body against him.

His hands stroked down her back, the T-shirt now clinging to her frame. He pulled her closer, the length of her body touching his as he dipped his head towards her. The playfulness was suddenly forgotten as he met her eye. His fingers stroked across her face, curling a strand of loose hair around in his fingers before he covered her lips with his own.

He tightened his grip around her, backing her up to the side of the pool and pressing her body against him. He couldn't seem to pull her close enough, their bodies molding together and their wet clothing adhering to each other, he kissed her passionately, his head swimming with lust.

The moment was destroyed in a second by Joel and his water gun. He laughed a cheeky laugh as he tried to swim away, the inflatables keeping him afloat but slowing him down as Greg gracefully slipped under the water and emerged in front of him.

"Can you swim without these?" he asked, flicking a finger off the rubber ring languishing around Joel's armpits. He shook his head indicating no, the sunglasses slipping down his tiny freckled nose.

"then I'm gonna teach you!" he declared, lifting him out of the water and helping him out of the various flotation devices he had used. Robyn smiled at him and met his eye; she appreciated the way he was bonding with Joel. She had told him so herself but when she looked at him like that his heart still turned somersaults.

"You boys have fun. I'll make the lunch"

Robyn sauntered inside the house, slipping the T-shirt from her body before she was fully inside and turning to smirk at him playfully. With a shake of his head and an exasperated smile he gestured to Joel to join him in the water sans armbands. He had expected Joel to be hesitant and nervous, perhaps even a little untrusting of him but he wholeheartedly threw himself into the water and before long Greg was lightly holding him afloat while chanting 'paddle' and 'kick' over and over again.

When Robyn emerged a short time later, having adorned the picnic table on the patio with food, Greg was able to raise both his hands out of the water and walk alongside Joel as he swam on his own without realizing. She had changed out of her saturated clothes and into a blue floaty dress with tiny straps that slid off of her shoulders every time she dipped her head, the material danced around her knee's, delicately licking at the skin there as the wind caught the skirt.

"You're a natural" Greg smiled, giving the boy a high five as they both climbed out of the water and strode across the lawn towards lunch.

"Momma, Greg taught me to swim!" Joel cried excitedly as he climbed onto his chair "he said next time I can do a triple backwards somersault!"

"Oh did he now?" Robyn asked, raising her eyebrows at a sheepish looking Greg. "I think you tired him out Jo, Greg should have a lie down after this"

Joel nodded through a faceful of egg salad sandwich, regarding Greg with some amusement.

"He can borrow some of my Jammies"


	9. Chapter 9

Returning to the hospital the next day was nowhere near as daunting as Sara had expected. The guard at the gate had merely glanced at her pass and waved them through without a word. They made their way directly to Laura's home without announcing their arrival to Mary.

Sara had attached herself to the mystery of the photograph. She realised it was probably a slightly unhealthy way to deal with her grief but there was something about the little girl that intrigued her. There were no professional photographs of Sara, that much she was sure of. Her parents had taken a laid back approach to parenting that basically meant that the kids were left to their own devices 90% of the time. Any photographs that existed of Sara and her brother were family snapshots from major events; Christmas, Birthdays etc. it did raise the question of who this child was and what she meant to her mother. Further digging in her mother's things revealed another bundle of letters from Sandra; at least one a year until the early nineties judging by the dates. She also found an old photo of her mother and a blonde woman, young and smiling on a golden sandy beach with a baby at their feet. The inscription on the back telling her that the toddler with the dark curls was her and the blonde woman was Sandra.

Sara and Grissom took the short walk up to the main hospital side by side. Mary was in her office furiously scribbling on some paperwork when Sara cautiously knocked on the door and gave a small smile.

"Miss sidle! I haven't emptied your mother's locker yet, forgive me. It's been a busy day"

She steered them both inside and they took their position in the leather chairs across from her desk.

"There's no real hurry. I actually wanted to ask you about visitors" Sara ventured, not sure how forthcoming the woman was going to be with the information.

"Visitors? Our patients don't often get many social visits"

Sara nodded her understanding but pressed on regardless.

"Do you know of a woman named Sandra Clark visiting my mother? Or maybe an Amy Clark?"

Mary's brow furrowed but she was already shaking her head.

"Not that I can recall but I can have the records checked if it's important?"

Sara exchanged a glance with Grissom as though seeking his permission to proceed. He responded with a barely there shrug. He knew that once something got under her skin there was nothing to be done but go along with it.

"You keep record of all the visits?" Sara proceeded, determined to make some headway on this mystery.

"Of course. There's a process involved. You must remember, all visitors must be logged in and approved. 2 forms of identification must be given, one with a photograph"

Sara did remember. She had commented that it was easier to get into a prison than here to the guard but he hadn't seemed to find it as funny as she did.

"Do you think I'd be able to take a look at my mother's visitor log?"

"Miss Sidle…. We don't normally give out that information. It's private…" Mary's eyes burned into her but she could always tell when a person was going to cooperate. They had a certain aura around them.

"I understand, I just… I have no idea who should be at her funeral and she seemed to have a lot of contact with this Sandra….the visitors log could really help me out with the arrangements"

Mary hesitated as she held Sara's eye, clicking her tongue off her teeth. Her hands hovered over the keyboard of her computer and Sara knew even before she spoke that she was going to relent. She raised her eyebrows and pasted on her very best pleading expression as Mary sighed and pressed some buttons making the printer whirr to life.

"This isn't normally how we do things Ms Sidle… but I am trusting your integrity in this instance. This record never leaves this office, understood?"

She sent Sara a stern look as she passed her the bundle of papers and moved to the door.

"Understood" Sara nodded "thank you"

"I'll be back in half an hour" she declared, closing the door behind her.

Sara exhaled all the tension in her body escaping as she peered at the information in her hand. Her mother mostly took professional visits; therapists, doctors and Samaritans. In recent years she had a number of visits from a priest named Father Debney. Sara took a note to contact him about the funeral.

She sifted through the pages carefully, working backwards and pausing on the record of her visits. A sadness settled over her as she thought about the last time she had seen her mother alive.

Sara's mother had been a resident in this place for many many years and it made Sara feel a little guilty to know that she had never had a visitor on any of the big holidays. She had spent every Christmas on her own cloaked in the memories of days gone by.

According to the record 'Michael Sidle/James had made a visit in April 2001. The one and only visit from her brother made a frown cross her face as she realised he had changed his last name. He had been 17 when Sara was taken away. Old enough to be considered an adult which left him dealing with a whole lot of different problems than Sara had. She had never seen him again. She never got the chance to ask him if he had tried to fight for her or simply walked away, glad to be free of the burdens of his family.

She wondered what reason he could have for visiting her out of the blue like that, especially considering he didn't visit again. It had been a few visits before Sara could claim to have reached a level of closure with her mother, she could only imagine Michael felt the same. With a sigh she took a note of his new name and the address he had provided but she knew it was probably a long shot given that it had been 11 years ago.

Finally her eyes found the name she had been looking for. Sandra Clark was logged in numerous times right back to the first tentative visits after her admittance. It seemed that Sandra had visited almost once a month until March 1990 when the visits abruptly stopped. The date sparked a memory in her mind as a particularly bad time in her mother's treatment. She had suffered a powerful breakdown that summer. Sara had been at college enjoying her freedom and anonymity. The phone calls had started mildly but quickly escalated to abusive forcing Sara to request that all her mother's calls were restricted and ran through the switch board. It may have been selfish of her to cut off contact in that way when her mother clearly needed her help but at that Stage Sara was fully committed to her studies and fully detached from that dark stage of her life.

Again she took a note of the most recent contact details of Sandra, noting that it was the same one the letters had come from. She held out some hope that Sandra was still there and was free from the nomadic tendencies that she suspected her brother had. There was at least a slim chance that she was still in the same house or at least nearby.

Mary flounced into the room looking harassed and exhausted. Sara slid the bundle of papers across the table with a smile of thanks as Mary sat down.

"I am sorry; it's been very busy around here lately. Must be something in the air" she smiled "or a full moon"

"Well thank you, that really helped" Sara remarked, nodding towards the papers languishing on the desk.

Mary gathered them into her hands, sliding them into her filling cabinet and turning her attention back to them.

"Andrew is clearing out Laura's locker as we speak so it shouldn't be too long"

Sara nodded but her mind was preoccupied with theories on Sandra.

"You worked here in the 90's right?"

Mary was taken aback by the questioning but still managed a cautious nod.

"I started here in November 1986" she said proudly.

"Sandra visited my mother once a month until 1990… are you sure you don't remember anything about her?"

"Miss Sidle, this is a very busy establishment. We have over 60 residents and double that as outpatients… and that was a very long time ago"

"I know…." Sara sighed; feeling a little disheartened "you don't remember anything?"

Mary seemed to retreat inwardly for a few long moments. Sara could almost feel her unlocking long lost memories in her mind. She sent Grissom a nervous sideways glance as he took her hand in his, resting on his leg.

"I don't remember much I'm afraid…" she began "but I do know that the summer of 1990 was horrific for Laura. It had something to do with this woman. She came to visit and they had some kind of an altercation. I remember because we had to remove Laura from the visit and restrain her. She was screaming something about being promised something. It was all quite traumatic"

Sara swallowed the lump in her throat as an image sparked in her mind of her mother restrained to a bed. The unforgiving shackles cutting and burning her skin as she fought furiously against them and awaited sedation. The thought terrified her and she tightened her grip on Grissom's hand. She could see why Mary would remember it so clearly.

"Do you remember what she was promised?"

The words choked in her throat as though they didn't want to be spoken but Mary shook her head sadly as Andrew came into the room with a sealed plastic box. Sara took custody of her mother's belongings and strode out of the hospital with a heavy heart. She rarely felt sympathetic towards her mother; most of her life she blamed her but now that she was being offered an insight into her life she found herself pitying her.

"Should I call a cab?" Grissom asked as they wandered across the grounds towards Laura's home.

"Could we maybe hire a car? Sara suggested, receiving a frown from her husband "I need to visit Sandra, Gil. I need to know…"

Grissom nodded, his hand stroking her arm gently before retrieving his phone as he loitered outside.

Sara started with the books, filling a box for goodwill assuming that her mother wouldn't have many titles she would be interested in. she took the time to fan out the pages of each one before packing it just in case anything was hidden in the pages.

"We get our car in an hour" Grissom smiled with a sigh as he cast his eyes over the scene in front of him. Sara sitting cross legged on the floor surrounded by books in various piles. The strain was beginning to show in her. Her once vibrant and shining eyes were becoming dull and her breath became slow and deliberate. He knew from those signs that she was sinking under the dark sea of her emotions and he knew he had to do all he could to keep her afloat.

"Thank you" she muttered, flicking open another book and fanning the pages. Grissom sunk to the floor beside her, mirroring her position and sliding a pile of books towards him.

"Anything good?" he smiled.

Sara returned his smile as he read the blurb of a particularly steamy covered 'Jackie Collins' novel.

"Not really" she smirked, raising an eyebrow at his unabashed interest in the book in his hands. "Looking for pointers?" she asked, unable to hide her amusement.

"It is important that we never stop learning, Sara" he smiled, placing the book in the goodwill box.

"I don't think there's much these books can teach us Gil" she laughed, fanning out two 'Mills and Boon' novels and placing them in the box.

"I heard these kind of books are making a comeback you know" Grissom quirked a suggestive eyebrow in her direction. "The stigma of reading them is gone now they are in the mainstream"

"Yeah, well… you'll forgive me if I'm not overly keen to read 50 shades anytime soon"

Grissom raised a rather too enthusiastic eyebrow at her making her almost blush as she cleared her throat and turned back to the books.

"Well here's something that doesn't belong" Grissom declared, slipping a well-worn copy of 'Alice in Wonderland' from the shelf.

Sara recognised it immediately, a strange feeling settling over her as she took the book from Grissom's hand,

"This was mine…" she said in a barely audible whisper as she drew her hand over the intricate design on the cover. "I think it was a birthday present. I don't remember…"

She did remember hiding at the back of her closet with the book clutched close to her chest and a flashlight. She would try to drown out the shouting and screaming with her imagination, she would retreat to wonderland with Alice and leave behind all the horrors of this world. Books had been her saviour in those days, the sanctuary she could always count on.

Sara carefully opened the cover, a busy pattern dancing in front of her eyes and making memories wash over her at a bewildering pace; it was strangely comforting to her. On the second page in the top corner her eyes focussed on an inscription she couldn't even remember being there.

"_To my little book bug Sara, never stop reading, never lose sight of that wonder and amazement and never stop learning. Someday you are going to know more than any of us  
and have the world at your feet. Love from Sandy"_

For some reason the heartfelt words pounded in her chest and the realisation that her once most prized possession had been gifted to her by a woman she didn't even remember seemed to steal the air from her lungs. The stagnant swarm of butterflies in her stomach awoke in a flurry and tears stung at her eyes.

"It's from Sandra" she muttered, clutching the book to her chest like a security blanket. "Who is this woman?"


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: This chapter is slightly delayed since I broke my hand and its been tough to type! I now know that I cant move a sofa all by myself... ahh we live and learn right? so would love to know what you think of this - come on hit me with your theories! Charli xx**

Grissom insisted a cab take them to downtown to collect their car. She needed some distraction, he could feel her confusion inflating with every new piece of information she uncovered. His eyes quickly scanned the landscape of shops and diners dotted around on the busy street they had been deposited on. Everywhere seemed so busy; the city was literally teeming with people.

His eyes settled on a tiny ice cream parlour nestled on the corner of a block with a fenced outdoor seating area. With a definitive smile he clutched her hand and led her across the road and towards the turquoise chairs and powder pink tables. The sun beat down on them as he gestured for her to sit before disappearing inside and ordering the biggest sharing sundae they had on the menu.

"You know ice cream is incredibly fattening…" Sara smirked as he slipped into the chair beside her.

"I don't think you have to worry"

He peered over the menu at her, carefully analysing her expression for signs of distress. Her eyes scanned the exterior of the building, watching people pass by going about their daily lives. She looked relaxed here, the light dancing in her eyes and a gentle smile tugging at her lips. The stress he had seen shadowing her earlier seemed to have vanished in the sunshine but he knew it couldn't be far below the surface. Sara was teetering on the edge and if he wanted to save her from an explosion of emotions he had to get her to open up to him slowly.

The waitress brought them their ice cream with a wide smile and Sara tucked in gleefully.

"My dad took me to a place like this once... he lost his temper with me and felt guilty so we went to the ice cream parlour and I got a whole sundae to myself. I felt like a queen" she laughed.

The small insight into her relationship with her father was intriguing. Sara rarely spoke about him personally at all. He was like a ghost always following her around but restricted to the shadows.

"I took my first date to an ice cream parlour" Grissom stated, spooning some banana ice cream from the sundae "she was lactose intolerant"

"Smooth" Sara nodded, smiling at his social ineptitude.

"Do you still want to go see Sandra?" he asked with a measured tone, pretending to be very interested in the sundae between them.

"I have to...how else will I find out what's going on?"

"Ok... than what's your plan?"

Sara turned to look at him, her spoon poised halfway to her mouth.

"My plan?" she finally remembered her ice cream, twirling the spoon around in her mouth and sending him a questioning frown.

"Well, this woman hasn't spoken to your mother for over 20 years. Are you just going to show up on her doorstep and demand answers?"

Sara pondered this for a few moments before scooping another spoonful of ice cream from the sundae. The moment of uncertainty in her eyes didn't go unnoticed by him; she was putting on a strong front but her masks never lasted long under his scrutiny.

"I guess I'll have to... I don't have any other ideas"

"What if Sandra and Laura had a real falling out Sara? Are you prepared for her to be unwilling to see you?"

It was his worst fear of the moment. She had based so much on speaking to this woman that he worried for her if she should turn her away. Her grief process was already delayed enough, this could be enough to make her run again and the last thing he wanted was to lose her.

"I'll be fine Gil. Please don't worry about me" her hand rested on top of his, her wedding ring glinting in the sunshine.

"I'm not worried" he soothed, holding her eye contact as she scooped out the last of the ice cream. With a smirk she raised the spoon to his lips, feeding him the last drizzle of ice cream. "I'm concerned"

Sara laughed, remembering a time when they had the same conversation many years ago. That time she had been reckless with her life, now she was just being reckless with her emotions.

"Isn't that kind of the same thing?" she smirked.

"We should get going now... isn't it quite a drive?"

Sara nodded, wiping the side of her mouth with a pink napkin.

"About 90 minutes to the bay and we still have to find her house"

Grissom followed her out of the building and across the busy road to the rental car place. It was a small portacabin type building with steel walls and a green sign above the door indicating its purpose. Inside he provided them with the necessary paperwork and payment. Sara milled about in the background picking at her nails nervously. Within a few minutes a young man pulled up outside the door in a red Mercedes with the top down.

Grissom shrugged in reaction to Sara's accusatory glare "it was all they had left"

Before long they were tearing along the highway with the wind capturing Sara's hair and making it dance around her face. She ran her fingers through it, holing it back with one hand as she fished in her purse for a hairband.

"Not as romantic as it looks in the movies is it?" Grissom smiled, keeping one eye on the road.

"I dunno... worked for Audrey Hepburn" she smirked, tying a silk turquoise scarf around her head and instantly taming her runaway hair.

The drive to Tomales Bay was a beautiful one. They followed the coast, the ocean glistening in the sunshine like a sheet of silver. Sara was quiet for most of the journey and he felt no need to push her for conversation. She was studying the scenery and waiting for memories to find her. Grissom held onto her hand as they cruised along the highway without uttering a word.

Eventually they began to drive through more populated territory. Villages gave way to small towns and she began to shift in her seat, her eyes darting around in recognition. It was a world away from the bustling city landscape as they drove past rolling hills and beautiful beaches but it was exactly like she remembered.

"I loved living here..." she muttered sadly as they drove past a long pier with a line of children diving off it.

"It's a beautiful place" Grissom nodded.

It seemed like the perfect place to raise a family. Quiet without being ghostly, idealic without being isolated, thriving without being industrialised. He could imagine the good intentions Sara's parents had when they set up home here. Their B&B had probably thrived in a place like this and had alcohol and mental illness not shadowed their lives they would probably have lived a happy life here.

"Sandra's last address was 125 John Street... that's... 3 blocks away" She nodded ahead and Grissom kept driving, turning right at a small convenience store into a street filled with picture perfect homes. Each one had a well-manicured lawn with flowers surrounding the porch and a mid-range car sitting in the driveway. Grissom slowed to a crawl as they scanned the numbers looking for the right one, eventually coming to a stop outside a yellow painted home with an old golden retriever laid out on the porch like a shaggy old rug. He lazily opened one eye to regard them before returning to his slumber in the sunshine.

"This is it" Sara declared, swallowing the lump in her throat and fumbling at her seatbelt. Grissom gathered her hand in his, attempting to calm and soothe her nerves.

"We don't have to do this Sara"

Her eyes scanned the building. The thin curtains waving in the breeze and the distinct smell of home cooking filled her nose. There was nothing intimidating about it at all and yet she seemed to have been consumed with fear as she sat in the car by the kerb.

"I do" she remarked, quickly unfastening her belt and removing herself from the car.

She stood on the sidewalk looking around the neighbourhood. Children played happily on the street without a care in the world, people mowed their lawns in the sunshine, an old couple sat on their porch reading in companionable silence, it was the epitome of the perfect neighbourhood. With a deep breath she threw a glance at Grissom across the car and made the walk up the path towards Sandra's porch.

Familiarity struck her the second she stood on the creaky steps. Sandra's porch was filled with potted plants of every description, flowers and herbs filled the air with their scent, the sound of wind chimes hanging from the rafters jingled in the breeze and strings of shells rattled as she made her way towards the door. The dog let out a low sigh as he heaved himself from the floor to greet Grissom with a lazy tail wag.

Sara pressed the doorbell, listening to the chime echoing around the house. For a moment she wondered if anyone was going to respond but eventually a shuffling and scratching could be heard from the other side of the door and a man appeared in the doorway.

"Can I help you?" he asked in a deep voice. He had sharp light blue eyes, the kind that pierced right into your soul when they looked at you. He immediately made Sara feel uncomfortable.

"I... I'm looking for a... a woman named Sandra Clark" Sara declared, clearing her throat to disguise the nerves she was feeling.

The man seemed to falter for a second, darting his eyes inside and regarding her very carefully.

"I'm her son. Can I help?" he reached out a strong, well-manicured hand and offered her a polite smile "Alan Clark, nice to meet you"

Sara hesitated a little before returning his gesture.

"My name is Sara Sidle; this is my husband Gil Grissom. I believe your mother was a friend of my mother's... I was hoping to have a chat with her about that"

"Well I'm afraid that my mother is asleep right now..."

Inside she heard the sound of movement and a shadow appeared in the window to her right. Eyes peered out from between the floral curtains and then darted away before a voice filled the hallway where Alan was standing.

"Who is it Alan? Let them in!" a woman's voice filled her ears and soon the thin frame of Sandra Clark stood in the doorway.

She was ghostly white, painfully thin and the beautiful blonde hair she had come to associate with this woman was gone, replaced by a pale blue headscarf. Her eyes were the same shade of icy blue as her sons only hers were framed with dark rings attesting to her exhaustion. She locked eyes with Sara, hers growing wide as her bony hand reached for her mouth. She stumbled backwards; Alan reaching out to steady her and her white shirt rode up her arm revealing a bandage and a picc line.

"mom... you need to lie down" Alan demanded, attempting to steer her back inside but despite how frail she looked Sandra put up a fight and took a few steps towards Sara, never letting her gaze drop from her eyes. "Mother... now's not the time for guests"

"Sara Sidle... is it really you?" she whispered, Sara's throat instantly feeling as dry as Sandra's obviously did.

She wriggled free of her son's grip and wrapped Sara in an embrace, tears forming in her eyes. Her hands stroked through Sara's hair and through her clothes Sara could feel just how critically thin she was. With one deep breath she unfolded her arms took a step away from Sara, grasping her hand in hers.

"Come in… we've got a lot of catching up to do"

She led Sara inside the house, past Alan and into a lavishly decorated living room. Alan sighed as they passed gesturing for Grissom to follow before he closed the door and joined them.

Sandra's living room was as much a testament to her personal taste as her porch had been. Trinkets, photographs and paraphernalia covered every available surface. A parrot in a cage stood in the corner eyeing them suspiciously as a tabby cat stretched out on a chair, refusing to move for anyone. A coffee table sat central in the room covered in legal documents and pamphlets on writing a will. Sandra perched lightly on the white sofa, patting the seat beside her to indicate to Sara she was to join her. Alan started gathering the papers but she shooed him away.

"Leave that… coffee… that's what we need" she looked at Sara and then at Grissom taking in their nods before waving Alan away towards the kitchen. Turning back to Sara she took her hand again and beamed at her. "I can't believe you're here… you look just like your mother"

"My mother… she took her own life a couple of days ago. I'm trying to handle her estate"

Sandra suddenly dropped her hand and moved to a white sideboard in the corner. She began furiously scrambling in the drawer, searching for something and mumbling under her breath before she returned with a photograph in her hands.

"That's Laura and I in the summer of 1979. We would meet up once a year, without fail at the start of summer. We had to do it in secret though; your dad would never have let her come"

Sara cast her eyes over the photograph; she did bear a striking resemblance to her mother back then. They shared the same dark wavy hair, the same wide smile tinged with sadness. There was a little girl in the background, curled up on a bench with her nose in a book. Sara pointed to her with a small smile.

"That's me" she declared, turning back to Sandra with a slight smile.

"Yes it is… always with your nose in a book. I used to call you my book bug"

Sara nodded remembering the passage in 'Alice in Wonderland'. Sandra pointed to a small boy hovering around her feet in the image. He wore a set of blue dungarees and had a crop of blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

"That's Alan. He was two years old. That was the last time we saw you" she said sadly.

"So, Alan's your only child?" Sara began, wondering how she would bring up the subject of the mystery girl in the photograph.

"No… I had a daughter too. She died 4 years ago… car accident"

"I'm sorry" Sara whispered.

Sara sighed, realising that perhaps the child in the photo wasn't as much of a mystery as she thought until Sandra brought over more photographs. Sandra's daughter had thick curly red hair and freckles over every visible part of her skin. There was no way to mistake her for the little girl in her photograph. She was a different child entirely.

"I called her Lauren… after your mother. She was born right after…you know"

Sandra nodded her head and turned away from Sara quickly obviously not wanting to discuss the subject any further. She carefully returned the photograph, her hands trembling slightly. The skin on her hands was thin and bruised, she could see the blood vessels mapping across her hands and the bones sticking out at sharp angles. She was clearly a very sick lady, Sara wondered for a moment if she should be asking her questions at all. Guilt tied a knot in her stomach but she had to proceed, Sandra was the only person who knew anything about her mother pre-murder.

Sara swallowed the lump in her throat and slipped the photograph of 'Amy' out of her purse. She placed it on the coffee table, sliding it towards her and studying her face for a reaction.

"Do you know who this is?"

Recognition clouded her eyes; Sara could almost see her travelling back in time in her mind. She was remembering, remembering the little girl and the reason why Laura had held onto this photograph for so long. Sandra delicately raised the photograph, her fingers dancing across the image of the child as though it was the first time she had laid eyes on her.

Sandra hesitated, casting her eyes around the room and refusing to meet Sara's eye. She seemed nervous and edgy and her voice trembled when she finally spoke.

"That's Amy" She muttered, a single tear snaking down her face. "She was my angel, my baby"


	11. Chapter 11

They stayed at Sandra's until the sun was hanging low in the orange sky. The exhausted woman held Sara in a firm embrace before she left, tears stinging at her eyes and sobs trembling in her chest. Alan walked them to the door, instructing his mother to rest with a stern expression. Sara turned at the doorway to thank him, pulling him into a polite hug.

"Thank you, for letting me see her"

"My mother is very sick Sara; the doctors have given her a little over a month. I'd appreciate it if you let her die in peace now"

With that he closed the door, leaving her standing outside staring at the glass, wondering exactly what just happened. Grissom carefully placed his hands on her shoulders and steered her away from the porch, stepping over the shaggy dog and down the creaky stairs towards their car.

Sara leaned heavily against her door, staring out at the scenery in silence as they drove out of town. Grissom found himself stealing nervous sideways glances in her direction, not knowing what to say to break the silence.

Sandra had had a lot to say; About Laura and about Sara and her brother. She had steered clear of the subject of her father as much as she could but it had genuinely been the most he had ever heard Sara talk about her past. Sandra and Laura had been incredibly close for many years and she had a lot of stories to share. Sara had finally found some of the happy memories she had been craving and had forged a strange bond with Sandra in a short space of time.

Alan, however, seemed to find their presence suspicious and inconvenient. Grissom wasn't sure if that had something to do with Laura or something to do with them but his attitude towards them had been unwelcoming from the start.

Sandra hadn't divulged any further information about Amy, choosing instead to change the subject. Sara brought the image back out of her purse and studied it again. Grissom could see the sadness clouding her eyes as she looked down on her.

"At least you got your answer, right?" he muttered, watching as she traced her fingers across the image in the same way Sandra had earlier.

"Right" she sighed.

It was clear that whatever closure she had been looking for in Sandra's she had not found it.

"So, she's Sandra's daughter" he offered, turning his attention back to the road.

"Apparently"

Her statement hung heavily in the air between them and as much as he wanted to ignore it he knew he couldn't. It burned on his conscience and tasted sour on his tongue.

"What do you mean? 'Apparently?'"

Sara finally turned to look at him, a frown making itself know on her brow. The orange glow of the sun bathed her skin and made flecks of gold and green appear in her eyes.

"It's… nothing" she sighed, stashing the photo in her purse again and gazing out of the window.

It was clear 'nothing' meant something else entirely. With a sigh Grissom pulled off the road onto a patch of sand. The ocean stretched out in front of them, stars were beginning to appear in the deep blue of the sky above the setting sun.

"What is it?" he asked, killing the engine and turning to face her. His hand stroked the smooth skin of her cheek and she closed her eyes and melted against him.

"I just… there's something more to this Gil… I can feel it"

"Sara…"

"I know, I know… 'Follow what can't lie'" she mocked, rolling her eyes.

But Grissom had been following the evidence all the way and had come to the same conclusion as she had; something wasn't quite matching up with this story.

"Well what does the evidence say?" he asked, his steady gaze holding hers.

"What do you mean?" She frowned, taking a deep breath.

"Talk it out with me" he almost whispered.

"Ok…" Sara began, sliding back in her chair and pressing her head against the headrest. "she said she only had one daughter, Alan looked like he had never heard of her, she wouldn't tell me anything about where Amy is now, My mother… clearly cared about this child, and every letter referred to her as 'our angel' there was never any mention of her other children and… she just looked shifty, you know? She looked like she was lying…"

Sara stared straight ahead for a few long moments, wallowing in the silence enveloping them. Her brain was racing, connecting all the dots, analysing all the signs and still coming up with an incomplete picture. With a sigh she turned to face her husband, expecting him to shrug off her theories with simple explanations.

"I agree" he stated, turning to meet her eye. The twilight reflected in his eyes as it closed in around them. A chill snaked its way up her spine and made her shiver.

"So what do we do now?"

Grissom reached into the back seat for his jacket, gently placing it around her shoulders and kissing her forehead softly.

"We look harder" he stated decidedly as he turned the engine back on and pulled away from the shore.

By the time the car pulled into the city Sara was curled up in her chair with his jacket pulled tightly around her shoulders. Her eyelashes fluttered against the porcelain skin of her cheek and he cast his eyes over her as he pulled up outside a small diner. The artificial lights cast their glow across her forcing a frown to furrow on her brow and she prised her eyes open slowly to see him watching her.

"Sorry" she smiled, stretching out her long legs and arching her back. "I guess I was tired"

"I guess so" he nodded. "It's been a long day, I thought we could get some dinner"

He stepped out of the vehicle and waited for her to follow. Night had properly fallen and cloaked the world in its darkness; Sara strained her eyes to find her jacket in the back seat and stumbled across the plastic box Mary had given her earlier. It seemed like that had been so long ago. She raised the box to her hip and slung her jacket over the crook of her arm as she followed Grissom inside the brightly lit diner.

The décor inside was meant to be like a 50's diner. Red and white leather booth's sat on a chequered floor with a juke box against the wall and a long steel bar littered with barstools snaked around the room. Half a Cadillac stuck out of the wall above the doors that led to the bathroom and Grissom disappeared in that direction as she took up position in one of the booths, placing the box on the table in front of her.

A middle aged woman with a blonde beehive sauntered over to her with a look of complete disinterest and took their order on a small yellow pad. When she was gone Sara glanced around the diner nervously. There was one man sitting in a booth in the corner, he wore a beanie hat and had a long scraggily beard. He seemed completely engrossed in the local newspaper, not paying a single iota of attention to her or the waitress. With a deep breath she turned back to the box and unclipped the lid.

The smell of old paper hit her immediately and she pressed her eyes closed as she tried to calm her nerves. She fished out the pile of papers and placed them in front of her, sliding the empty box across the table.

The first few items were pretty self-explanatory, bank statements and medical assessments mixed in with some personal letters that were addressed to her. She could only imagine the contents of the letters if they had chosen not to pass them on. She decided that they should be delved into in an altogether more private place. A diner in the middle of the city was not really the place to read about her mother's tortured mind.

She unfolded a yellowing piece of paper, casting her eyes over her birth certificate sadly. It had proved difficult for her to get a copy of this many years ago; she hadn't had the luxury of a loving family who filed these things away carefully.

With a sigh she placed it aside and unfolded the next paper. Unfamiliar handwriting was scrawled across the top and a small photograph fell out onto the table. Even although she hadn't seen him since she was 9 years old she recognised him. Michael still had the same mess of scruffy dark hair and those deep dark eyes that hid a thousand secrets.

She had never been able to get close to him, even when they were a lot younger he seemed to resent her existence. She envied people who had managed to forge lasting bonds of friendship with their siblings. In the image he was holding a tiny baby in a yellow shawl. Sara turned it over but there was no inscription on the back.

Referring to the letter she discovered that the baby in his arms was his daughter; Jessica Amy James. Her breath caught in her chest as she stared at the tiny child. She didn't even now the girl existed. Checking the date she figured Jessica would be around 12 years old now.

Grissom arrived at the table, casting his eyes across the mass of papers spread over it.

"Are you sure you want to do this here?" he asked carefully.

She nodded and handed him the photograph and letter before pressing on in her search.

"I'm an auntie" she shrugged "apparently"

Grissom's eyes scanned the letter as she unfolded another in the same scrawled handwriting. With every word she read she could feel her heart sinking lower and lower in her chest. Tears stung at her eyes as she placed the letter lightly on the table and took the photograph from Grissom.

"_Was_ an auntie" she whispered "Jessica didn't see her first birthday…. That's why he visited our mom. He lost a child"

The waitress brought over their plates disturbing the heavy silence that had settled between them.

"Sara do you think you should be looking at those now?" Grissom mumbled not wanting to be too confrontational knowing that it would only frustrate Sara being told what she should or shouldn't do.

"I need to..." She replied not meeting his eye. He took a deep breath leaning back in his chair his eyes taking in the dusty parking lot as people moved in and out of the diner on their way home and into disappearances. Taking a sip from his coffee he turned back to see Sara watching him steadily.

"Do you think I shouldn't?" She asked the papers still in her hands. She had not put anything down, questioning not her actions but his suggestion.

"I...know it's a lot of information to process right now, perhaps it would be best to rest...to gather your thoughts...because..." Grissom trailed off his tired blue eyes looking away from his wife as he feared her retaliation knowing she would not spare him from the bitter words on her tongue.

"Because..." She raised an eyebrow at him. "... it'll upset me...you don't want me to be unstable... you're worried that I might actually want a family... that unlike you I care about where I come from as well as where I'm heading?"

"No...No Sara... you misunderstand me..." He sighed once again his eyes focused on his coffee.

"...I do that a lot..." Sara muttered under her breath.

"This is impossible..." Grissom shook his head, turning his attention back to the reason they had stopped here in the first place; food, coffee, fuel.

"Of course..." She gave a small humourless laugh. "It must be really hard for you..."

"Sara… you're being ridiculous" he sighed, sliding the box towards him and placing papers inside it. "We can do this in the morning. It's too much for one day"

Sara could feel anger welling up inside her and seep through her pores. She fixed her eyes on his hands as they casually tossed the letters and documents inside the box with little regard and found her hands tightening around the small bundle in her grasp.

"I'm not a child" she hissed through her teeth, desperately trying to hold back the hateful words poisoning her tongue. She had always been aware of her foul temper and her inability to control it. In recent years she had mellowed, partly due to the fact that her life had settled down and reached a mild plateau. Now she seemed to find ammunition at every turn, emotional trauma did that to her and while she recognised what this was it didn't stop her from feeling the resentment she so desperately fought to supress.

"I know you're not a child Sara but sometimes I feel like I need to drag you in the right direction. Trust me. This is for the best"

His hand reached out for the clump of papers in her hands and she realised that she had a decision to make. Follow her husband's instructions or follow her own. She gulped back the lump in her throat and stood up from her seat. With a defiant stare she pushed the papers into her purse and slung it over her shoulder before marching out of the diner.

He called after her; she could hear his voice mixing in with the music and the hum of traffic as she crossed the road and forged her way across town. The night air bit at her skin and the darkness felt close and ominous but she kept walking, determined that she was going to get as far away from Grissom, and Sandra and everyone as she could.

She had been walking for hours; at least it felt like she had. The streets wound on and on and her feet just kept moving, her eyes never looking back and her anger slowly slipping away. Finally she found a bench perched on the side of the bay, she was only a few blocks from their hotel. If she looked hard enough she could probably see the light from their room window shining in the night sky.

With a defeated sigh she collapsed on the bench, exhaustion sunk into her bones making her drowsy and emotional as she replayed the events of the day in her mind. She knew Grissom was probably right, there was nothing to be found in these papers but more unanswered questions and torment.

With trembling hands she retrieved the bundle she had rescued, wincing at their crumpled corners and stained sheets. The wind caught them in its flurry, fanning them out like the pages of a book and a line of numbers caught her eye.

It was a birth certificate, she expected it to belong to Michael or herself but the name on the top line made her heart stop in her chest.

'Amy Louise Sidle'

her eyes desperately scanned the rest of the document in the hope that the answer lay in the boxes but the only answer it gave to her was that Laura had given birth to the child in the photograph.

And Sandra had lied through her teeth.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Thanks for all your reviews! I shall be tying Greg's part of the story to Sara's part of the story in the next chapter. For now I have given him some romance, hope you enjoy! Also, since I'm keen to get this moving I'm going to try and update on Sunday... love Charli xx**

Greg drove to Robyn's straight from work. He had big plans for this weekend; it wasn't often he was gifted a Friday night off. Especially not with Sara gone too and he intended to get as far out of town as he could to minimise the risk of being called in at the last minute.

He knocked lightly at the door even although he knew it would be unlocked and she kept her spare key under the snail shaped statue in the rockery. He had told her countless times how dangerous it was to keep her key there but she always shrugged and changed the subject.

Joel was sitting at the table, his legs swinging back and forth. Greg ruffled his hair with a smile as he moved through the space looking for Robyn. He could hear her humming in the shower, the steam escaped from underneath the door filling the hallway with the scent of her shampoo.

He continued into Joel's bedroom, confident he had a few minutes to spare before she emerged from the steam. He searched through the boys drawers feeling slightly clueless as he packed Joel's things into his small dinosaur bag. With a satisfied smile he placed the bag on Joel's bed and went back to the dining table to sit with the kid.

When she emerged he was fully engaged in colouring and barely noticed her entering the room. She smiled down at him as she towel dried her hair and padded around the room. With an embarrassed smile he stood from his seat and approached her, sliding his hands around her waist and pulling her close for a soft kiss.

"You smell good" he whispered, hovering his lips close to her collarbone.

"Thank you. Dinner tonight?" she smiled, twirling out of his arms with a flourish.

"I have a better idea..." he grinned, nodding at Joel who hopped down from the table and ran into his bedroom.

"Oh you do, do you?" Robyn drew a comb through her hair slowly, watching him as he cleared away the pages he had coloured. Her eyes stayed on him, casting over his body making him feel suddenly self-conscious.

"I got us a place, on the lake" he muttered with a shrug.

"You did!? What about Joel?"

As if on cue Joel bounced into the room with his dinosaur backpack around his shoulders and his red jacket on upside down.

"I got him a sitter" he declared as she righted his jacket. "Mrs Parish, next door"

"Mrs Parish is taking him?" she raised an eyebrow in surprise both at his apparent relationship with her elderly neighbour and at his show of initiative.

"She's perfect" he defended "think about it… you've known her forever right?"

"I moved here when I was 15, Greg" she shrugged.

"So, we're talking more than 20 years then"

"Yeah, thanks Greg. Pile on the flattery" she teased, feigning offense.

"She's practically his grandmother, he's known her forever and she loves him" he continued "and her record's totally clean"

"You checked my neighbour for convictions?" Robyn smiled, shaking her head at him.

"Well…yeah. I wanted to be sure… I checked you too" Greg shrugged, following her into the kitchen.

"Oh you did?" she grinned, pulling him into an embrace "and?"

Greg paused for effect, Robyn's gentle hands resting on his chest and her wide eyes holding his with an impish smile on her soft pink lips.

"You drive too fast" he teased, pressing his lips against hers "now go pack; I have a date with Mrs Parish"

With a wink he left the room, following Joel to the neighbour's house. Turns out Mrs Parish was a bit of a mother hen, plying him with cookies and stories about her own son. By the time he escaped, with a trayful of brownies she had packed a small overnight bag and was seated at the table flicking through a magazine. He silently praised himself on a job well done; he had known it would be a risk arranging a babysitter without her okay.

"Sorry, Mrs Parish is….something else!" he shrugged, picking up her bag "let's go!"

Without waiting for her response he marched outside and threw her bag in the trunk, starting up the engine and pulling out of the driveway before she even made it outside. The smirk that crossed her features when she stepped outside was reward enough. She shook her head, her hair dancing around her shoulders and shimmering in the sunshine as she locked the door.

"I can't believe we're really doing this!" she remarked as she settled in the passenger seat "how did you convince me of this?"

"It's all strategy Robyn" he winked "like a game of Chess – I anticipated your moves and developed a strategy to combat them"

She looked at him for a few long moments, a bewildered expression on her face.

"I've never played chess Greg that analogy was lost on me" she shrugged, slipping her sandals off her feet and casually painting her nails.

"How can you have never played chess?" he questioned, somewhat astounded at her revelation. She simply shrugged a shoulder, peering at him under her hair with a smirk. "I was captain of the chess team"

"You were obviously really popular in school" she teased "I guess I had other things to occupy me back then"

"Were you a cheerleader?" he beamed, secretly hoping she still had the uniform at the back of her closet.

"No" she narrowed her eyes at him, trying hard to supress her smile "but I did go to a few clubs, just not anything as exciting as Chess club"

The drive took over an hour. Robyn painted her toenails, and her fingernails and the nails on Greg's hand closest to her. She braided tiny braids in her hair then pulled them all out, she played 'name that song' with Greg and they covered every conversational topic from chess club to quantum physics.

They finally pulled up to a tiny wooden cottage nestled among the trees. Brass had guided him here. His own sanctuary from civilisation he'd called it. Told him it was 'cosy' and 'secluded'. He had obviously left out 'over-run with weeds' and 'probably home to several endangered species'. With a look of disgust he stepped up the small and crumbling steps and fished in his pocket for the key Brass had given him. He had warned Greg that he hadn't been there for a while, that it was probably a bit dusty and unloved but Greg hadn't been prepared for it to be debilitated. The creaky door swung open and he held his breath, expecting to be hit by the smell of mould and abandonment but the interior seemed to be incredibly untouched by nature.

Robyn appeared at his side, seemingly unfazed by the run down exterior. Stepping into the living area he cast his eyes over the huge stone fireplace and the old fashioned furniture. Brass' idea of 'a while' must have meant 1972 judging by the décor. Robyn began opening curtains and letting light pour into the space capturing dust particles in its beam like stardust. Her positive attitude was infectious and he immediately started opening windows and dusting off countertops. The fridge was empty, as he expected but he had come prepared. With a smile towards Robyn he dashed outside to retrieve the bags while she shook out the rug on the back porch.

He returned with bags stuffed with every kind of food he could find. Realising the power was out he searched outside for the generator and cranked it up while Robyn filled the fridge.

"Pink champagne?" she grinned when he returned.

"Only the best for you" he countered with a wink.

"Of course. The $6 label doesn't take anything away from that sentiment Greg"

He reached out and took her hand, pulling her outside and across the back yard, down to the side of the lake. The sunlight glistened over the surface, reflecting the dramatic cloud formations as they lay back on a blanket side by side. The next few hours passed with them spotting shapes in the clouds, drinking champagne and laughing until the only sound accompanying their sigh's was the hum of the generator and the birds in the tree's.

"You're amazing, do you know that?" she muttered, gazing up at him as he hovered over her.

His lips danced along the sweep of her neck, across her jaw and found her lips while his hand gently stroked the soft skin of her face. He could feel her blood coursing through her veins, her pulse throbbing on her neck as his lips brushed across it. He could see her breath hitch in her chest as he pressed against her, carefully unbuttoning her trousers. He could anticipate how it would feel to have her body tangled with his, to hear the sound of her passion disappearing into space.

"All my other girlfriends say so too" he teased as she folded his shirt from his shoulders.

A dark cloud loitered above them, ominously watching their embrace before releasing a torrent of heavy rain and thunder over them. They stumbled back inside, dripping wet and breathless. The blanket abandoned by the lake with their shoes and his shirt.

Her hair clung to her face as moisture glistened across her skin. The blouse she wore moulded into her body and he crossed the space between them to peel the fabric away.

"We need to get you out of these wet clothes" he whispered, pressing his forehead gently against hers and meeting her eye in the darkness of the room.

A shiver crossed her body, her trembling breath making a puff of smoke as the temperature dipped with the storm. Her clothing fell to the floor and he cupped her chin, tilting her head upwards to meet his lips. He could taste the rain from her skin, cold and fresh as it raised Goosebumps on her skin. Greg slowly slid the straps of her bra down her arms and she stood before him with a nervous smile as she unhooked it from the back.

"You're so beautiful" he breathed, holding her close and covering her collarbone with feathery kisses.

Another shiver made her tremble and Greg moved across to the fireplace, making quick work of raising a fire in the hearth. The heat filled the room almost immediately and Robyn joined him in front of the fire, her fingers wrapping around his belt and freeing him from his wet jeans.

The lights flickered as the storm grew in power, whirling around the building violently. Wind howled through the trees and shuddered the tiny cabin but they were oblivious to the wrath of nature as they sunk onto the thick red rug. Greg kissed every raindrop from her skin; he gratefully received every sigh that escaped her lips as he carefully explored her body enchanted by every tiny detail of the woman before him. The fire roared in the hearth and the lights cut out as they made love in the sanctuary of the cabin.

Her touch burned his skin, her eyes searched his soul and he gave her everything he could, surrendering his entire body and soul to her before breathlessly tangling his fingers through hers and hovering his face close to hers, his breath shivering on the skin of her neck.

"I love you" he muttered, the words barely making a sound as they left his lips.

Robyn nodded, catching his eye with her breath still quivering in her chest. Her hand tightened around his as she met his lips. He could feel her body trembling beneath him, her arm snaking around his neck to keep him close to her as she breathlessly returned his confession.

The generator sprung back to life bathing the cabin in light and Greg hastily tore himself from her embrace hanging their clothes by the fire and digging in his bag for more. Robyn wound a dusty blanket from the couch around her body, padding across the floor towards the front door.

"What are you doing?" he asked, regarding her suspiciously as she peered out at the rain still falling in dense sheets.

"My bags still in the car" she shrugged.

"I'm happy for you to be naked the whole weekend" he smiled before digging in his bag and throwing a t-shirt in her direction "here; I'll get your bag when it doesn't look like a tsunami outside"

Robyn closed the door and slid the shirt over her body, watching as Greg peered in cupboards and searched in drawers with a frown.

"What are you looking for?" she questioned.

"This" Greg declared, triumphantly holding up a chess board "you are going to learn to play chess"

"I can think of better things to do with our time" she smirked, quirking a suggestive eyebrow

"later. Right now it is essential you learn to play chess"

Robyn studied his face trying to decide whether he was genuine or not. He kneeled on the rug, placing the board in front of him. With a sigh she sat cross legged across from him watching as he arranged the pieces carefully.

"I really don't see how this is important Greg" she huffed.

"Everyone should know how to play chess Robyn, it's a life skill"

She pursed her lips and raised a sarcastic eyebrow at him. In a short amount of time he had explained the roles of all the pieces and the rules of the game. He had moonlighted as a tutor in college, even leading a small high school team to the regional finals. After 3 'practice' games he challenged her to a real game. The loser being forced to cook dinner.

"Ready?" he grinned excitedly at her across the board.

"Yes" Robyn responded in a flat tone, holding his gaze defiantly.

"Really? You're sure? Because I'm not going to go easy on you" he teased.

"Fine"

"And I was champion 6 years in a row Robyn…" Greg continued.

"Ok" she shrugged.

"Although you did have a great teacher"

"Greg, just play the game will you" she smiled, despite attempting to feign disinterest.

"Ahh… I see you are keen to lose!" he teased.

Robyn simply smiled and moved a pawn forward two spaces with a defiant stare.

"I'm supposed to go first" he protested.

"You shouldn't leave a lady waiting" Robyn countered, removing her piece and leaning back against the sofa. Greg moved his pawn two places and she simply repeated her initial move leaving her wide open for his legendary 3 move checkmate.

Greg moved his queen two spaces diagonally, Robyn then responding as he had expected by moving her pawn to a defence position. She smirked at him happy with her strategy until he moved his queen another 3 spaces, directly in line with her king.

"Checkmate" he smirked.

"You totally cheated Greg!"

"You can't cheat at natural greatness my dear" he gloated.

Robyn rolled her eyes and began clearing away the set "if you say so"

"I don't know why you're so surprised" he shrugged "I was always going to win"

"In 3 moves? That's just mean"

"What can I say? I'm talented" he grinned, kneeling in front of her.

"Modest too" she teased.

"The record is two you know. I still have a way to go"

"I can show you a way to go" she smirked, tossing an errant pawn in his direction.

Greg leant forward, meeting her eye as he crawled across the rug throwing the chess board out of the way as he did so.

"Oh Ms Morrissey, do I detect a certain competitive edge shining through?" he stopped moving as she remained unwavering in her place, his face lingering close with barely a space between them.

"Shut up, Greg" she said, narrowing her eyes at him.

"It's lucky I'm not after you for your brains, really" he teased, placing his lips on hers gently.

"it must be my creative cooking skills then" she smirked, moving into the kitchen "Grilled Cheese and Spinach?"


	13. Chapter 13

Sara had sat there in the cold night air clutching the certificate in her hands feeling completely stunned. She may not have the best grasp on the memories of her past but she was certain she would have remembered something as significant as a sister.

She had never been curious about her family tree. The fact that most of her life had been plagued by their ghosts always prevented her from digging deeper. There had been ample opportunity for her to track down Michael and offer him an olive branch. Even when she had visited her mother she felt it best to leave him well alone and not pry into his life.

Now the urge to find Amy was instantly greater. Michael had made his choice by cutting her out; it could be that Amy was never offered the opportunity.

Sara pressed her cell phone to her ear with little regard for the time. She knew she could count on him to never let her down and sure enough his sleepy voice filled her ear and a smile crossed her face immediately.

"Sara? Is everything ok?" Greg shifted in position, attempting not to wake Robyn who was sleeping soundly on his chest.

"I'm fine. Or I will be fine anyway. Can you do something for me?" She cleared her throat nervously.

"Anything you need" he declared.

She wasn't totally sure how she was going to express the entire story that had unravelled before her. She was well aware that it was the middle of the night and that Grissom was probably getting increasingly worried for her, time was not really on her side.

"I uhh I need you to find someone for me" she muttered.

Greg unwound himself from Robyn's embrace, gently resting her head on his pillow and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Find someone?" he frowned.

"Yeah, you know I figured with all the genealogy stuff you've been doing…" she shrugged even though she knew he wasn't there to see it.

"Oh right, sure, of course. Who do I need to find?"

"Well…" Sara began, taking a deep breath "its… she's called Amy. Amy Louise Sidle."

Greg stumbled around in the dark looking for something to write the information on, casting a nervous glance over his shoulder at Robyn.

"A relative?" Greg guessed, penning the name down in the corner of a bashed up old bible he found beside the bed.

"I think so…" Sara swallowed the lump in her throat. "Greg?"

"Yeah?" he replied with a sigh.

"This is… important. Can you get on it right away?"

She felt guilty even asking him but time was of the essence right now. She intended to uncover this mystery before she went back to Vegas and she needed his help to do that.

"I'm kind of in the middle of something right now" he smirked, casting his eyes over the plains of Robyn's back as she stirred in the bed.

"Please. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important"

"Ok" he sighed "I'll call you when I have something"

"I'll call you in the morning" she smiled, signing off the call.

A part of her rested easy knowing he was on the case. It was one less person for her to track down but she knew that she still had to go back and speak to Sandra. Despite what her son had said and his apparent need to keep her away Sara had to know why there were so many secrets surrounding this child.

Her legs felt heavier as she slowly made her way to the hotel. A light rain was starting to fall, dappling across her skin and making a shiver cross her body. The streetlights shimmered in the night sky as she passed them by, carefully creeping inside the hotel hoping not to wake anyone. She imagined this is what it would have felt like sneaking into your house as a teenager after staying out past curfew. Every single floorboard seemed to creak loudly reverberating off the walls and making her heart turn somersaults in her chest. The stairs had never took so long as she pressed each foot against them carefully, heaving herself higher towards their room.

She stood at the door, gripped by guilt for everything she had put him through tonight. He didn't understand what it was like to be so lost in your own family and she couldn't feasibly expect him to try. He had suffered his own loss as a child that had inevitably shaped him as a man but it was a different kind of loss with entirely different consequences. With a deep sigh she opened the door and slowly cast her eyes over the scene in front of her.

The plastic box from the hospital lay opened on the floor beside the desk, the letters and documents in neatly arranged piles dotted across the surface with a post it note stuck to each one. He had arranged everything into categories for her; each one lovingly unfolded and laid out for her perusal. Her heart swelled with love as she quickly darted her eyes to the bed.

Grissom slept soundly, a tense expression on his face as his eyelids flickered rapidly. He was dreaming, his lips twitching and his breathing hitching in his chest. She carefully crossed the room and sat at the edge of the bed, a concerned hand resting on his arm. His skin felt warm to the touch, much warmer than hers did and she quickly retracted her hand for fear of waking him. A frown furrowed his brow and his dreams made themselves known on his lips as his tortured voice whispered 'Sara'

A knot wound its way around her stomach as she realised he was dreaming about her, not just dreaming about her but worrying about her. Even in his sleep he was tortured by the consequences of her actions.

"Gil…" she whispered, dipping her head close to his ear and gently stroking his sleeping face "I'm here Gil, its ok"

His sleepy sigh filled the room as he turned and settled back into the pillow and she silently crept into the bed, fully clothed, beside him. She pressed her body against him, curling her arm around his body until he let his fingers lace with hers and they both fell into a deep slumber.

He woke her with a steaming mug of coffee and a gentle kiss to her temple. Sunlight streamed in through the windows declaring another beautiful day and his clear blue eyes gazed at her with nothing but love as she heaved her groggy brain back to consciousness.

"Thank you" she muttered, eyeing him somewhat suspiciously as she tried to decide if he was angry about the previous night.

"You're welcome" he nodded, moving across the room to retrieve his own coffee.

She pulled herself into a seated position, ignoring the throbbing in her head as she nursed her coffee. She could feel the warm liquid bringing her to life, the caffeine mingling with her blood stream and giving her the jolt she needed.

"I uhh… I'm sorry about last night. You were right… it probably was getting too much but I…did find something interesting" she kept her eyes fixed on her husband but he had his trained on the newspaper, his back to her. The coffee steadily cooling in his hand.

"Amy is your sister…" he declared as though it was common knowledge. Her words stopped in her throat as he twisted in his chair to look at her "and you want to go back to Sandra's"

"How did you know that?" she asked, unable to keep the smirk from forming on her lips and illustrating how impressed she was.

"Well I worked through that last night; waiting for you to come home…" he nodded his head towards the neat little piles on the desk "I added it to the letters you already had and the letters about Amy came ever year. On the same date and with almost the same information, just like you would expect in an adoption and you know, there was just something in her eyes, something so very… _you_… about her." a glimmer of a smile crossed his features as he thought about it before turning back to her "and I know you Sara. I know you wouldn't let that go"

Her trademark half smile lit her features as she got up from the bed and swung her arms around his shoulders. Her kisses rained on his neck as she whispered her thanks in his ear before disappearing into the bathroom.

Less than an hour later they were once again following the long coastal road towards Sandra's armed with a handful of evidence and a head full of questions. On the way, Sara took a call from an old colleague of hers that she had roped into tracking down Michael. He had a location but wanted to meet her in person to discuss it. She could only assume that meant bad news.

They pulled into Sandra's street a short time later and Sara marched onto the porch full of purpose. She didn't hesitate to press the doorbell, following it up with a tap on the living room window. Sandra's eyes appeared, wide and surprised through the thin veil of netting covering the glass.

Without a word she ushered them into the room, a tissue in her hands and an array of photographs spread out over the table.

"I'm glad you came back Sara" she sniffed, sitting on the edge of the sofa. "Ever since you came round…. I can't get it out of my head. I need to tell you the truth…"

Sara simply nodded, stunned that all her build up and prepared arguments would be unnecessary. Sandra reached out to hold her hand, the skeletal fingers closing around hers tightly and making her feel incredibly uncomfortable.

"Laura and I… we were very close Sara. Practically sisters, when your dad came along he didn't approve. He said I 'poisoned her mind' and tore her away from him."

Again Sara nodded. It wasn't unusual for abusers to try and isolate their victims from the people they loved the most; the people who could make them see the truth.

"He didn't know that she was pregnant and if he had chances are he would have performed his own kind of abortion if you know what I mean….Laura was good at hiding things. Very good in fact and she was built just like you, tall and slim… she never had much of a bump"

Tears streaked down the woman's face, she looked genuinely traumatised by the memory, as though it had shadowed her for a long, long time.

"When she went into labour she rushed round to mine. She insisted she was going to have the baby and we could pretend it was mine but… there was so much blood and she was so scared. I called an ambulance…they registered the birth at the hospital. Something she begged them not to do. When I got there she had discharged herself…I…I'd never seen her like that before. So closed, like stone. She handed me this tiny baby, this beautiful little girl and just walked away. Told me she didn't want to see either of us again"

Sara took a deep breath, trying to absorb the sheer mass of information she had just received. She couldn't imagine being in a situation bad enough where she would just hand over her child like that. She couldn't imagine being so scared that she'd have to hide something that should be considered a blessing.

"You changed her name? She became Lauren?" Sara nodded, assuming that the story would end there.

"No, oh no" Sandra shook her head, once again dabbing at her eyes with a tissue "I… I had just found out I was expecting Alan… it was all too much"

Sara nervously swallowed the lump that had been building in her throat.

"What did you do?"

A sob escaped Sandra's throat and she wheezed and coughed with the power of it, Sara was momentarily stunned. Wondering if she had made the wrong decision coming here and demanding answers like this but Sandra pressed on. She seemed determined to tell the truth, to clear her conscience perhaps before she faced the final judgement.

"I posed as Laura and gave her up for adoption. At the time it seemed like the only thing I could do… your mother and I…we met up every year and that last time, that photograph I showed to you….I gave her the photo of Amy… the one with the pink bear. Your dad found it, the whole thing came out. I can only imagine the hurt he inflicted on her for her to…"

Sandra faded away but the words weren't needed. Sara had the whole picture in her mind now, she understood for the first time in her entire life she understood what had happened that day.

But the closure didn't bring her any of the peace she craved. If anything it painted a worse picture of her childhood than the one she had created for herself.

"What happened the last time you visited my Mother?"

A car pulled into the driveway, Sandra's body stiffened and doubt clouded her eyes. Grissom stood at the window, a small nod all the confirmation she needed that it was Alan returning home. Sara could feel tension filling the other woman's body, the stress seeping out of her pores as she looked at Sara with wide pleading eyes and a head shake. She was begging her not to make her answer.

"Please… I need to know"

Sara's desperate whispers filled the room and Sandra exhaled loudly before speaking in a small quivering voice.

"I lost contact with Amy's adoptive mother. I don't know what happened; she just stopped writing to me. I told Laura and she lost it. She said I stole her baby, that I took her away and I was trying to keep her from her… she… she got violent. I thought it was best if I stepped away"

"You didn't see her again" Sara stated sadly.

She knew how hard it was to be on the receiving end of her mother's vicious tongue when she was having a down day. She knew how hard it was to walk away even when you knew it was for the best for everyone involved. Grissom steadily crossed the room as the front door clicked open and Alan's body filled the doorway. The storm brewing in his eyes was almost physically painful as he looked between Sara and his mother.

Grissom had placed himself between her and Alan on purpose; he was shielding her from the inevitable negativity he would throw their way. Sara took a deep breath and stood from the sofa, turning to embrace Sandra gently.

"Thank you" she muttered "I'm sorry…it ended that way"

Sandra nodded, this time escorting them to the door herself with Alan acting as her shadow. Sara slipped into the passenger seat with a heavy sigh and pressed her head back against the headrest. She could feel the information buzzing around in her brain like bees in a hive. She had placed herself in her mother's shoes, imagined what it would be like and what she must have thought in her fogged mind when Sandra told her that Amy was lost to them.

Grissom didn't start the engine right away, he sat there beside her watching as she processed everything in silence the way she often did. She ignored his gaze and his gentle hand on her leg, she ignored the way he gently stroked her hair and moved his body closer to her, and she ignored his soothing whispers as she sobbed into his chest. She just clung to his body and found herself thankful for his embrace because she knew that if she hadn't had him to cling to then she would have been lost too. She was drowning under the truth and he was the only thing keeping her afloat.


	14. Chapter 14

Grissom pulled up outside the San Francisco police department building a short time later. Sara had pulled herself together in the time it had taken to get there, the red rimmed eyes and sniff in her nose speaking volumes about her state of upset even if she did paste a smile on her features.

She had called Max on the way into the city and he was waiting in the bright reception area for her, his wide, round face breaking into a bright smile as soon as they walked in. he immediately crossed the room towards her, pulling her into a familiar hug.

"There's my Sara, you been avoiding me all these years?" he grinned.

"I know I'm sorry Max" she nodded, knowing that she had exchanged little more than emails with this man since leaving San Francisco.

"Must have been too much fun in Vegas, huh?" he winked, elbowing her playfully.

"Something like that" she smiled, gesturing towards Grissom "this is my husband, Gil Grissom"

She smiled, realising that she never grew tired of introducing him that way.

"Husband?!" Max declared, taking Grissom's out stretched hand and enthusiastically shaking it "never thought I'd see the day! It's nice to meet you sir"

Max steered them inside a small glass office usually reserved for family members and social workers. He sat across from them with the blinds closed, folding his arms across his chest.

"What do you know about Michael?" Sara muttered nervously. She recognised the signs that he was preparing her for something. The over familiarity and secluded room did nothing to abate her suspicions.

"He's not great Sara" he sighed "his rap sheets as long as my arm; violence, drug offences, robbery, assault, public indecency…"

"Is he diagnosed schizophrenic?" she asked, surprising herself with how forward she could be about the subject. Max shrugged and sat forward.

"You know what it's like Sara… he's manipulative. Psych wouldn't give us a definitive answer. She says with his history he could easily fake it either way" he paused with a heavy sigh "he's a drug addict Sara, lost a ton of weight, dosses around all over town. I dropped him off at Safe Harbour last night, after you called"

Sara nodded and stood up "thanks, I'll go see him"

Max exchanged a glance with Grissom, his concerned expression changing everything about his face.

"You sure that's wise?" he asked, receiving a shrug from Grissom and a smile from Sara.

"Probably not" she shrugged, turning to leave.

"Sara… he lashes out at people, he's struck an officer before, he's used weapons… just… be careful ok?"

"Aren't I always careful?" she smirked, recalling the vast number of times she was calling into his office for taking her life into her hands. Max turned to Grissom, looking incredibly nervous.

"You want me to take her over there?" he asked, nudging his head towards Sara waiting impatiently in the doorway.

"I think that would be a good idea" he declared, raising his eyebrows towards her "I need to go collect the last of Laura's boxes anyway"

Sara reluctantly agreed, promising to hold it together and meet him later. Max drove them to the shelter; an old industrial unit on the harbour. On the drive he filled her in on all the office gossip, she heard about the lives of people she barely remembered feeling a little guilty that she had vanished out of their lives so quickly and without explanation.

Max escorted her inside, flashing his badge at the staff with authority. He had been promoted to police chief a short time after she left but she always knew he was destined to progress his career. He had perfected the balancing act of being a good police officer and a good colleague.

He motioned across the room to a man sat on a camp bed muttering to himself. His long dark hair escaped around the brim of his cap, flailing haphazardly around his shoulders. His unshaven face and sunken features made him look grubby, his skeletal hands flicking a playing card over and over again. Sara swallowed her nerves, taking a deep breath before holding her head high and crossing the room towards him.

"Michael?" he looked up at her, his eyes unseeing and unemotional before turning away. His skin was grey and chalky, almost like she would expect on a corpse. "Michael, do you know who I am?"

He continued to flick the playing card; the ace of hearts, Sara pondered its significance as she watched him sitting in front of her looking like an empty shell of a human.

"Should I?" he spat "social worker right? You've come to 'make me all better'"

He laughed a humourless laugh tinged with bitterness and resentment before carefully placing his card in the inside pocket of his grubby and tattered army style jacket.

"No, no… I'm not a social worker… look at me… please?"

She crouched in front of him, searching for his eye contact, hoping that when he looked at her he would recognise her and open up to her about where his life had gone wrong. Michael heaved his head up as though it took incredible effort. His dark eyes had once been so full of life and fascination. She had sat listening to him tell their parents of his plans to go to college and become a 5 star chef on a cruise ship. He was going to travel the world and see everything he could. Now they were flat, stale and soulless. He had lost every ounce of hope he ever had.

"Sara?" he muttered as recognition clouded his expression, it was soon replaced though. He removed his eyes from hers concentrating on his hands.

"Yes. Yes it's me" she smiled, hoping that it meant he was actually happy to see her.

"What do you want?" he replied in a monotone voice without looking up.

"I… I don't want anything Michael" she faltered, unsure what to make of his disinterest.

"Everyone wants something. Haven't you figured that out yet?"

She studied her brother's face, a purple bruise ripening on his cheek barely visible under the stubble and grime of living rough for countless years. His knuckles were cracked and broken, his nails blackened and grubby.

"Uhh Michael…Mom…Mom's dead" she stuttered nervously, steeling herself for an outburst of the anger she had been warned of.

"Good" he declared, meeting her eye with a hint of defiance.

"What happened to you?" she whispered.

"Life happened to me, mom happened to me, dad happened to me" he shouted and stood, making her fall back onto the floor in surprise. She shot her eyes to Max, his hand on his holster immediately but she raised a hand to indicate he was to stand down. She could deal with the shouting. It was better than the silence. "The only good thing that ever happened to me was taken away" he sunk back down to the broken man he had been as the weight of his statement sunk in.

"Jessica" Sara muttered, her hand reaching out to his. He flinched under her touch but his eyes reached out to her and she saw emotion there that had previously been hidden.

"How did you know about that?"

"Mom… she kept things. Your letters, the photograph…she was beautiful"

A silence lingered between them as he fought back the tears in his eyes.

"Yeah, well… she's probably better off where she is" he declared with a bitter laugh "who'd want to be a Sidle right?"

Sara realised that Michael held a lot more resentment towards their parents than she had. He would probably never put those demons to rest.

"I… I'd like you at the funeral… you can say goodbye"

"I said goodbye to our mother a long time ago Sara, just like I said goodbye to you"

He turned his entire body away from her, leaving her crouched on the floor facing his back. She slowly stood up with a sigh.

"ok." Were the only words her mind could find as she turned to leave.

"Don't think you're better than me just because it's not got you yet Sara. We're Sidles…. We all self-destruct eventually, usually destroying everyone around us in the process. There's no escaping it"

She stopped in her tracks, letting the words settle into her brain and poison her blood stream. She had thought like that once. She had thought it better to be alone in the darkness of her own mind; she had thought that pushing everyone away was protecting them. She had been proved wrong, she had come through her darkness and found the light on the other side and she knew in her soul she'd never go there again.

"I have escaped it Michael. Trust me, I've been there. I came through it… with a little help"

He peered at her over his shoulder, the bones on his back stuck out at odd angles under his jacket further emphasising what he had done to his body.

"I don't believe you" he growled.

"Fine. But you can't blame all your problems on something that happened 30 years ago… you have to let it go eventually" she shook her head, wondering if it was possible he really was beyond help.

"What do you know?" His shoulders drooped, his head lolling low on his neck again as his trembling hands reached for his bag.

"I know more than you think" she said simply, turning away so that she didn't have to see him retrieving his drugs "take care Michael"

Sara nodded to Max as she crossed the room and out of the door. Her heart was filled with sadness for Michael but she was well aware that pity wouldn't help anyone and she couldn't help him when he had no intention of helping himself.

Max dropped her off at the hotel, them both exchanging promises to keep in touch that they had no intention of keeping. Tyler and Oscar were having a loud and animated conversation about cheese in the kitchen. She smiled at the image she had of them, hand gestures flying back and forth across the oak worktop as neither backed down over their choices. She crept up the stairs, exhaustion sinking into her bones with every step.

Grissom was already there, a cardboard box at his feet and a book in his hands. He looked up at her when she arrived, scanning her feature for signs of distress.

"How was it?" he asked nervously.

"Ahh you know, as we expected" she sighed, throwing herself face down on the bed with a groan.

Grissom abandoned the book he had been reading and sat on the edge of the bed beside her. He began kneading her shoulders, his thumbs erasing the knot of tension in the muscles and relaxing her weary body.

"Did he speak with you?"

Sara nodded a little, suddenly finding herself far too relaxed to contemplate words. The heat from his hands expanded across her whole body until the pillow melted away and she felt like she was floating on a cloud, drifting away into a dream world where none of this had happened.

When she woke from her impromptu nap Grissom was returning to the room with two white paper bags and a soft smile. The sun was hanging heavily in the middle distance, descending to the horizon slowly.

"I got us some food" he declared, setting the bags on the desk and digging inside.

Sara rubbed a hand across her eyes and stretched her hands up towards the ceiling.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep" she muttered.

"That's ok, you obviously needed the rest"

Grissom placed two plates of food on the small table perched on the balcony and she joined him with a small smile. He had bought all her favourites; even buying it from the vegetarian diner she had introduced him to on the edge of the bay.

"So, Michael probably won't be at the funeral" she said, forking some salad into her mouth "be lucky if he even remembers I was there"

"Well, you tried" he shrugged before fishing in his pocket "Mary found something else in Laura's locker. She told me to give it to you"

He handed her a small brown envelope and she turned it over in her hands before placing it on the table in front of her.

"What's in the box?" she asked, nodding her head towards it as she tucked in to her food.

"It's some photographs and personal things I thought you would appreciate more than goodwill would" he shrugged.

He had found a small box under Laura's bed filled with sentimental things. Sara's first report card, a pair of tiny bootee's and a bonnet, a blanket and a silver chain with 3 rings looped around it.

"I don't want anything. I think I'm ready to just get it over with" she sighed.

Grissom seemed to think about this for a few long moments before placing his fork on the table and taking her hand. His thumb carefully brushed across the top of her hand.

"Maybe you should look first" he muttered carefully.

"Well, maybe tomorrow. I've had enough reminiscing today" she sighed, tearing open the brown envelope he had given her.

A gold chain glinted in the sunset and she turned the envelope over, a gold locket landing in her hand. She prised it open with her nail, two smiling faces staring up at her from the past.

It was unmistakably Laura and Sandra.

They must have been about 17, full of wide smiles and long hair as they wound their arms around each other. Sara stared at the image picturing how happy they must have been, how oblivious to the way their future would tear them apart. She could see now where Sandra drew her similarities from; she did indeed share a remarkable likeness to her mother. They had the same dark hair and strikingly brooding eyes, the same slight frame and long, long legs. She imagined her mother looking great in the 70's when fashion was all about long legs and tiny waists.

The photograph seemed to speak to her, it seemed to tell her truths she had underlined every day of her life.

You just never know what lies ahead.

She glanced up at her husband seated across from her, a smile crossing her features as she recalled the beautiful memories they had made together. That's what was important.

It wasn't what lay ahead or whether fate was hiding in the shadows waiting to snatch everything away. Every moment was a gift, every moment was a memory and that was much more precious and special that fearing what was still to come.

"Gil, I don't tell you nearly enough how much I love you" she declared, leaning across to kiss him gently.

Grissom drew back, eyeing her suspiciously with a small smile creeping over his lips. Her eyes danced to his, filling with love and sentimentality.

"You don't have to" he said "I can feel it from you every day"


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Sorry for the slight delay – this chapter was a tough one to get written! Let me know what you think!  
Charli x**

The breeze whispered through the tree's telling her secrets she couldn't quite reach out to. Her body felt heavy, the haze of sleep not fully shifted from her mind as she ducked out of the car and swung her eyes around the graveyard. The sun hung brightly in the sky, its warmth casting over her body yet a shiver still made her tremble.

Grissom's hand closed around hers and held her tight, reminding her that she wasn't alone.

With a deep breath she crossed the lush green grass to the plot her mother had already picked out. It stood proud beside a willow tree, the branches dripping to the ground like falling tears. Father Debney nodded an acknowledgement to her as she approached him; he was a kindly old man with soft white hair and pale wrinkled skin. His smile was so natural and inviting it was almost impossible to resist and yet now he stood with a practiced expression of sympathy and sobriety.

The vast stretch of land was vacant of all other life. Sara felt tears welling up in her eyes as she thought about how lonely her mother was, even in death she was alone. Father Debney stood for a few long moments, his eyes scanning the driveway and gates for latecomers before he turned to Sara.

"Should I proceed?" he muttered with a sad little nod.

Sara turned to scan the horizon, her eyes fixing on Mary slowly trudging up the long path with a bunch of flowers in her arms.

"Just one more minute" she said with a sigh. She was incredibly thankful for Mary's arrival, at the very least Laura would have someone else say goodbye to her.

Just as Father Debney was about to start a car pulled up on the long stretch of driveway and Alan appeared in a tailored black suit. On the back seat sat Sandra, looking even worse than she had the previous day. Her son took a wheelchair from the trunk, carefully helping Sandra to sit before wheeling her towards the tiny congregation.

Her frail body slumped against one side of the chair. Her energy levels were so low she could barely keep her eyes open and yet she had still come to pay her last respects to a woman who had clearly influenced her life a great deal. Sara suddenly felt a strong connection to the woman and a deep regret that she didn't get the chance to form any kind of relationship with her.

Father Debney spoke low and clear, delivering a beautiful eulogy. Sara felt a bit like an impostor playing the part of mourning daughter when in reality she didn't know her mother from any of the other people laid to rest in this place. She glanced around at the mixture of abandoned stones with moss growing on them and carefully maintained shrines to loved ones.

She could picture people traipsing up here every week to clean the stone and lay the fresh flowers. They would light a candle and talk to the ground like the person was there to hear it. She was willing to bet Robyn had been like that, she seemed the type to believe in the afterlife whereas Sara knew the darkness that often came with death and she'd seen the emptiness in the eyes of people when their soul escaped their bodies. She preferred to think of death as simply a release, a freedom from the tension and the stress and the consciousness that haunted human beings for their entire lives.

Father Debney stopped talking and bowed his head in prayer. She wondered if he had done this with her mother before her death, maybe she had looked for forgiveness in religion or possibly justification. She may never know.

Sara stepped forward, tossing a single blood red rose onto the descending coffin and watching as it disappeared into the blackness. She had expected to feel a sense of loss at this moment. She had expected emptiness to overwhelm her and tears to cover her face but she felt a strange sense of closure as she stepped away from her mother's last resting place.

Alan wheeled his mother towards the coffin; a bunch of tiny blue flowers lay in her lap, tied with a pink ribbon. Forget-me-nots Sara noted as they fell onto the deep dark wood. Sandra never did forget her.

With a sigh Sara reached into her pocket. Her hand closing around the locket she had carefully placed there. Her intention had been to return it to her mother as they tossed the dirt into the hole but she realised she could think of a better place to put it.

She approached Sandra slowly, noting the tears that glistened in her eyes and the trembling in her hands. Sara crouched in front of her, holding the woman's hand carefully and sending her a reassuring smile.

"I want you to have something of my mother's" she whispered. "I think she'd want you to have it"

When she removed her hands the gold locket glinted on Sandra's lap and her breath hitched in her chest as she opened it and laid her eyes on her smiling former self. The tears finally broke free, landing on her hands like shattering glass as she looked towards Sara. The words of thanks she couldn't utter were obvious in her eyes. Sara simply nodded and walked away.

Her eyes fixed on the ground as she turned and walked back to her husband but something tore them to the cluster of trees close by. A shadowy figure loitered in among the trees. She knew immediately it was Michael, she could feel his eyes creeping over her skin with the same resentment he had yesterday.

She shrugged it off, deciding to pretend she didn't see him and hoping he went away.

They stood in silence watching as the vacant space above Laura's coffin was filled in. Sandra's trembling hands turned the locket over and over as she stared into the middle distance obviously reminiscing about happier times and possibly regretting the sad times. Alan held firm to the handles of her chair. He stood painfully upright, almost like a soldier standing to attention. His eyes were fixed on the headstone, unemotional and unwavering. Mary shook her hand and ducked out muttering condolences and excuses as she took the long pathway back to the hospital.

Grissom stood by her side, his gentle breathing a companion of hers. He didn't utter a word simply laced his fingers through hers and allowed her the space she needed to process the whole thing. She was having trouble with that though, her consciousness seemed detached from her somehow. Like she was underwater, everything seemed blurred and murky.

Alan began to push his mother back to the car, dazed; Sara followed them and bid a fond farewell to Sandra. She approached Alan nervously as he folded the chair into the trunk.

"Thank you" she muttered "for being here"

"Oh I didn't want to come" he clarified "but she insisted"

Sara glanced into the car where Sandra sat slumped against the door, the locket still clutched in her hands.

"Well it meant a lot… to me"

Sara reached out her hand to him, hoping to call a truce but he stared at her before simply shaking his head.

"She shouldn't have told you about Amy" he sighed, Sara's heart turned in her chest. She assumed he knew as little as she did. "She won't want you to find her"

"How do you know?" she asked, her eyes narrowing suspiciously.

Alan pressed a hand to his coat pocket, reaching inside he pulled out a tattered old letter. He turned it around in his hands as though still deciding what to do with it before handing it to Sara.

"She wrote… a long time ago she wrote to my mother. I didn't give it to her, I didn't see the point Amy wasn't her child and Laura had cut all contact"

Sara stared at him, stunned by the confession as she held the letter in her hands.

"You just ignored it?" her throat felt dry as she thought about how it would feel to reach out and be ignored in that way.

"No, no… I wrote back" Alan declared as he walked around the vehicle. "I told her never to contact us again"

There wasn't a hint of emotion in his eyes as he swung the door open and disappeared inside the car. His car pulled away without a backwards glance, leaving her standing there with the letter in her hands and staring after them. Grissom's hand rested on the arch of her back, his body warm and reassuring behind her.

"Are you ready to go home?" he whispered.

Sara couldn't help but dash her eyes over to the graveside where Michael had finally come out of hiding. He stood at the foot of the grave staring down at the patch of dirt.

"No, not yet… just give me a second"

She pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, her hand slowly sliding down his chest as she stepped across the grass towards her brother. His words spun round her head with every step she took. He held so much resentment towards her and her attempts at reuniting their broken family she felt intimidated about approaching him.

"Michael?" she muttered quietly as she stood by his side.

He bowed his head, his breath catching in his throat and she could tell he was stifling a sob.

"I wasn't going to come…" he declared.

Sara nodded; she didn't really know what to say in response. She hadn't expected him to come, and certainly hadn't imagined him being upset.

"What did he give you?" he asked, gesturing his head backwards to where she had stood with Alan. She sighed, realising that he had been watching all her interactions of the day. She debated how much she should be telling him considering his obvious resentment.

"It's nothing…it's just a letter" she explained, closing her eyes as she breathed out the next words. "Did you know about Amy?"

Michael raised his head to look at her but she kept her eyes fixed firmly ahead. She couldn't tell whether it was surprise or anger she felt from his stare but it burned all the same.

"Yes" he finally admitted under his breath.

Sara pulled her vision to him, scanning over his tattered clothes and thin frame.

"Can I take you for coffee?" she asked, offering him an olive branch.

Michael nodded and Sara felt herself relax slightly as he followed her down the embankment towards her car. Grissom was already seated in the driver's seat, Tchaikovsky filling the small space and a smile fluttered onto her lips as she sat carefully in the passenger seat.

"Michael, this is my husband Gil"

Grissom raised his eyes in surprise and turned his body to look at the man in the back seat. Sara had told him he was in bad shape but he had underestimate just how bad. He reached out a hand to Michael which went ignored. With a nervous sideways glance Grissom started the engine and drove to a diner as instructed.

Sara and Grissom sat silently side by side and watched as Michael cleared his plate enthusiastically. It was clear he hadn't eaten anything substantial in a long time; his hands trembled as he tore at the bread and struggled to control his fork. In contrast, Sara daintily forked tiny morsels of food into her mouth while exchanging nervous glances with her husband.

"What do you know about Amy?" she finally asked, hoping she didn't sound too keen.

Michael stopped eating; gazing up at her with hooded eyes before he sat back in his chair and took a deep breath.

"I know you shouldn't be chasing her down" he stated.

"Why not? Maybe she wants to be found?" Sara argued.

"Would you?" Michael bit back. "She escaped Sara; she didn't need to live through all this"

Sara visibly retreated from his venom, her back finding the booth heavily making a gasp escape her lips involuntarily. Grissom's grip tightened on her leg under the table.

"Do you know what happened to her?" Grissom asked with an authoritative voice.

"I know Sandra took her away…. After that she vanished" he shrugged "why do you care?"

Sara sighed, wondering how to explain how much it meant to her to find Amy. Michael had decided to remove himself from the family he had grown up in but Sara had never been granted that luxury. She had never really had a family life to distance herself from and now she craved the kind of companionship she saw in other families. Happy families.

"Why didn't you tell me about her?" Sara whispered.

Michael sat bolt upright, staring right into her eyes the anger clearly bubbling on his lips.

"When? When should I have told you Sara? When you were hiding in your closet so he didn't beat you? When she stabbed him to death? When they tore you away and told me I wasn't responsible enough to look after you?!"

He tossed the coffee cup from the table watching as it shattered against the wall and Sara found herself lost for words. Her lip trembled, her heart pounded against her chest and tears brimmed in her eyes.

"They didn't _let _me see you again. They told me you'd be better off without me" he continued "they were right. Look at you"

Sara shook her head in protest; she wanted to tell him about everything, about her time in foster care and her own problems with depression. She wanted to tell him that she didn't have it as together as it looked, that she had fallen apart like she had. The only difference was she had people around her who were good at putting her back together.

"Michael…." He silenced her with one angry look, the fire in his eyes rendering her helpless.

"Don't go looking for her Sara. Amy had a good life. She had parents who loved her, she had a family… She had everything we didn't. Dragging her into all this…how would you like it?"

"She needs to know the truth…." Sara found herself whimpering in response.

"Why? For you?" Michael's voice echoed off the walls "you'll only poison her. She escaped. She's the lucky one, don't turn her into me"

With one last vicious look he stormed out of the diner, Sara feeling the icy air of his words settling into her pores. A shiver took hold of her body as tears broke free from her eyes and she realised he was probably right. She quickly retrieved the letter Alan had given her from her purse, staring at it for a few long moments before tearing it up into small pieces and stuffing it back into the interior of her purse.

"It's ok, take no notice of him" Grissom soothed, his hand smoothing out her hair as her head rested on his shoulder.

"No Gil…" she sighed with a shake of her head "he's right… I'll poison her"


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I hope you all like this Chapter, its 200 words shorter than the others (you may not have noticed but it is tormenting me) I just couldn't find another 200 words anywhere lol My poor Muse had already moved on to the next chapter! anyway let me know what you think? ;o) - Love Charli xxx**

Greg found himself seated on the front porch, his laptop propped on a makeshift table and music removing the eerie silence. It was the only place he could get a signal strong enough for a search, he had spent 20 minutes wandering around the cabin before braving the cold night air. He tapped on the keys and stared at the screen completely engrossed in the job in hand when Robyn appeared behind him.

She carefully leaned over, wrapping the gold quilted comforter she wore around his shoulders. Her lips pressed along his shoulders, the heat from her body embraced him. her hands slowly drew over his chest as she slid the blanket around them both for a few moments her body pressed against his back.

"Why aren't you in bed Mr Sanders?" She smiled, moving across to the chair perched beside him and collapsing into it. A shiver crossed his body as the icy air hit his skin again and he longed for her warmth to return, he longed to be wrapped up in her under the sheets.

"Sorry, I'm working on something for Sara. She wants me to find someone…" He explained, gesturing for her to put her legs on his lap. He absent-mindedly kneaded her foot with one hand as he scanned names on the screen.

"Lost that loving feeling already Greg?" She grinned, making a reference to the music filtering out from the stereo in the corner. "Trying to tell me something?"

"I wasn't even listening" He sighed.

Robyn removed her feet from his lap, leaning forward to rest her hands on either side of his neck and look into his eyes.

"I missed you" She whispered, pressing her lips to his. His tongue slid over her bottom lip, his teeth grazing the soft skin as her sweet, warm breath surrounded him. Her eyes shone in the darkness as she pulled away from him, breathless and quivering.

He stood from the chair, taking her hand and pulling her against him. She gasped quickly as the bite from his cold skin pressed against her body, still warm from the bed. He unfolded the blanket draping it carefully around his own shoulders, encompassing them both in its warm cocoon as he slowly began to sway to the music.

"I missed you too" He responded with a similar hushed tone. She rested her head on his chest with a deep sigh, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. The moonlight reflected off her hair, the scent of her skin swirled around them. Greg drew his hands along the length of her spine, resting them on the curve of her back and holding her body against his.

"You could have put some clothes on" She teased, taking in his bare chest covered with goosebumps and his bright red boxer shorts.

"So could you" Greg retaliated with a wicked smile as he noted that she was wearing only underwear. He slowly stroked his fingertips under the waistband of her panties to illustrate the fact as they continued to sway around on the creaky decking of the porch. He looked down at her, capturing her eye contact for a long moment " And I didn't want to wake you"

Their kiss enveloped them in its warmth and intensity. The rest of the world stood still, the music dulled to silence and the gentle sway of their bodies slowed to a stop. He wanted more than anything to gather her into his arms and take her back to bed. He wanted to have her fingers tangled in his hair and her legs wrapped around him. He wanted his kisses to cover her body and her lips to cover his.

But Sara's broken voice would sound in his subconscious, reminding him that he had made a promise to her and he could never let her down. Not Sara, she deserved his loyalty more than anyone else.

"I was told minimal clothing was mandatory this weekend" She smirked as Greg unfolded himself from the blanket and returned to his seat.

"I didn't expect it to be so cold" He shrugged, pressing a gentle kiss to her exposed abdomen now at eye level with him. He drew his thumb across the tattoo of two tiny butterflies she had perched on the curve of her hip bone; one for each of her parents she had explained the first time he saw them.

Robyn playfully swung one leg over his legs, lowering her body so that she was seated on his lap. Her eyes locked with his as she quirked a suggestive eyebrow and twisted her hand behind his neck.

"I know a foolproof way to generate heat" She crooned seductively in his ear.

His hands involuntarily slid down her body to her waist and he tilted her hips against him, the blanket sliding from her shoulders and pooling at his feet. She pressed her forehead lightly against his, her fingers carefully sliding through his hair as she gasped in anticipation.

His breathing became rapid, his blood coursed through his veins at lightning speed and his heart beat hard against his chest. He wondered how one woman could make him lose control so easily as he tore the bra from her shoulders and caressed her shoulders with his lips.

Robyn's nails dug into his back as she hummed in his ear. Her teeth gently scraping the skin and making his body react instantly. He was aroused, well beyond the point where he could stop anything from happening and from the fire in her eye when she pulled back she had no intention of making him stop.

He looped his fingers around her panties, removing them quickly before gently dancing his fingers up the inside of her thigh. Her legs trembled as he stroked his thumb across her, pressing kisses across the outline of her pelvis. She threw her head back as a groan played on her lips and she pushed her body into his again, lowering herself onto him once more.

She rocked her hips against him, gasping as her body adjusted to his. The rhythm she maintained drove him crazy, tension knotting in his lower abdomen as he pressed back against the chair, his hands gently guiding her body. Her whispers disappeared in puffs of breath in the cold night air but their passion wasn't a raging inferno. It never was. It was always slow, emotionally charged and incredibly intense.

Her body tensed against him, her eyes clouding over with an emotion he couldn't read as she arched her back. His hands braced, supporting her body while she leaned backwards exposing her whole body to his eyes. He dipped his head to shower her body with kisses . The tremble crossing her body was delicious, the groan that escaped her lips sending him cascading into oblivion himself.

They settled in the post coital afterglow clinging to each others bodies as their breath turned to smoke in the air and the cold bit at their skin. A violent shiver shook her body and she sucked in her breath. Robyn gently kissed his lips, the tremble still evident in her legs as she unwound from him and retrieved the blanket from the floor.

"I'll make us some hot chocolate" She offered, kissing his forehead and moving back inside.

He was no further in his search when she returned, fully clothed with 2 steaming mugs and his old Stanford Sweater slung over her arm. He gratefully wriggled into the sweater and sipped the cocoa grateful for the interlude in his, so far fruitless search.

"Its beautiful out here" She stated, gazing out over the stillness of the lake stretching into the distance. The moonlight shimmered over the surface making it look like a sheet of silver. She wore a wistful expression, like she was trying hard to hold on to the moments she was being gifted. Like she was scared it was about to be taken away.

"It really is" Greg agreed, keeping his eyes fixed on the woman in front of him. She glanced over at him before averting her eyes and suppressing the smile crossing her lips.

"Stop it" She smiled, the blush crossing her skin more than obvious.

"Stop what?" Greg shrugged.

"Being so damn adorable, that's what!" She rolled her eyes in his direction as she pulled her sweater closer around her body.

"I can't help it" He grinned "I'm just an adorable kind of guy"

"Well all guys say that to get into a girls pants" She said, pressing her lips together.

"Au contraire" Greg smiled "And can I point out...I'm already in your pants?"

Robyn narrowed her eyes, suppressing the smile on her lips by biting on her lower lip.

"I might have to reconsider" She said shrugging one shoulder.

"Reconsider...this?" Greg indicated to his body.

"You're...right...I need someone to keep me warm" She sighed. "I guess I'll have to keep you"

"wow, try not to sound too enthusiastic... you're suffocating me!" Greg teased, raising his hands in the air in mock terror as she tossed a book in his direction.

"So, who are you looking for?" Robyn queried, curling her legs under her body in the chair.

Greg regarded her carefully. She clutched the mug carefully between both her hands, blowing cooling breath into the liquid through her pursed lips. Her eyes were once again fixed on the lake glistening in the moonlight but they were soon drawn back to him as his scrutiny burned into her.

"Oh, its… Sara's looking for a family member. I'm trying to track her down" He shrugged, not wanting to get into the details Sara had emailed him.

He had known she had a traumatic childhood but had only ever been privy to bits and pieces of the story. The email with Amy's details held an insight into Sara's life that she had previously been incredibly talented at hiding.

"They grew apart?" Robyn continued, taking a sip of her hot chocolate.

"No… she was adopted" Greg said, turning back to the computer to continue scrolling.

Robyn seemed intrigued, she placed the mug on the floor beside her chair and moved across the porch to lean over his shoulder. Her eyes scanned over the image on the screen as he frowned up at her.

"That site's no good then. A lot of them don't check adoption records" She met his eye with a smile, her soft hand closing over his on the mouse to open a new window. She leaned over him and typed in an address. "Try it now"

Greg stared at her in disbelief, the frown furrowing further on his brow as she simply returned to her seat and raised the mug to her lips.

"How do you know so much about this?" He asked, typing in the words 'Amy Sidle' and sitting back as the computer did its work.

"I've used them before" She shrugged, laughing at his raised eyebrow "I was adopted"

Greg was stunned for a few moments as Robyn turned her eyes to the deep blue of the night sky. He wondered why she had never mentioned it before. She spoke about her parents so often he would never have expected them not to be her birth parents.

"You looked for your real family?" He asked quietly.

Robyn hesitated for a second, a glimmer of sadness crossing her eyes as she pondered his question.

"I looked for my birth mother, after my real mother died. I grew up with my _real_ family" She clarified with a decisive nod.

Greg wondered whether he should press the subject further but he really couldn't help his curiosity from getting the better of him. He had grown up with both his parents, his grandparents and a fully fledged family tree. He couldn't imagine life without his over extended group of cousins and aunts and uncles and stories stemming generations. Families fascinated him.

"Did you find her?" He muttered into the air.

"No...she… she didn't want to know" Robyn shrugged, staring out at the lake again. "Then my dad got sick"

"I'm sorry" Greg muttered, not sure what he should be saying.

"It was a long time ago" She said with a whisper of a smile. "You learn to appreciate what you have, you know?"

Greg nodded thinking about all the memories he had from growing up. His mother's tears when he went to school or the smile from his father when he learned to ride his bike for the first time. He could picture their faces in the crowd when he graduated or the way his mother would bake him fresh cookies every Friday after school. Things he took for granted and yet cherished a great deal.

He wondered if he would see them differently knowing he didn't belong in that family genetically. He wondered if he would feel the same sense of belonging when he went home to visit.

"Don't you ever wonder what they're like or if maybe she's changed her mind?"

Robyn's eyes brimmed with unshed tears she wouldn't let fall. She looked at him sadly with a shake of her head.

"I took losing my Mom and then my Dad as an omen" She shrugged, slightly embarrassed "It was a sign to stop looking"

"It wasn't your fault they died Robyn..." He reassured her. "She could be waiting for you to get in touch again"

"When you've already lost everything you learn not to go looking for things that aren't there" She whimpered before pressing a kiss to his temple and heading inside. Greg sighed and sat back in his seat deciding that giving her space was the best thing to do right now.

His search for Amy Sidle was going nowhere fast, even on the new site Robyn steered him to. He sipped his hot chocolate scanning his eyes over the email Sara had sent him.

As a last ditch attempt he searched for all Amy's born on that date in the San Francisco Area coming up with a list of 13 names that he printed out. Somehow he would narrow it down and find the right one. It was his job after all, he followed the evidence even when it was thin and circumstantial. He would follow it until it led him somewhere.


	17. Chapter 17

Sara took a long slow sip of the coffee Greg placed down in front of her and leaned back in the overstuffed red leather chair in her favourite coffee-house.

"Ahh that's much better" She sighed, closing her eyes and feeling the warm liquid run through her veins.

Greg smiled over his mug at her carefully adding milk and swirling his over-expensive coffee around with a small wooden stick.

"So how was Frisco?" He grinned

Sara shrugged, glancing out of the window at the people charging back and forth along the sidewalk.

"It was ok... I'm glad it's over to be honest"

"You missed me" He declared with a self-assured smile as he leaned back and crossed one leg over his knee.

Sara chuckled into her coffee, taking a sip and narrowing her eyes in his direction. She could spend hours having a pretend argument with him over whether or not she missed him. She was certain that if she had had a moment to think about it she probably would have missed him, although she could never tell him that.

"Something like that. Where were you anyway?" Sara replied, changing the subject.

"Oh, Brass has this cabin..." He Began.

"Right, out by the lake?" Sara interrupted with a nod. Grissom had taken her out there several times for some solitude. It held a lot of happy memories for them both.

"You know it?" Greg frowned, thinking that Brass cabin was a well kept secret he had been lucky to figure out. A nostalgic smile lit Sara's features and she tilted her head and took another sip of coffee.

"Yeah, Grissom and I..."

"Ew!... that's all I need to know!" Greg demanded, holding his hand up and feigning distaste.

"Do I need to get my honeymoon photo's out again Greg?" Sara teased back with a smile.

They'd had similar conversations over coffee. Despite how much time had passed Greg still liked to tease her about Grissom. It had become as much a part of their relationship as their monthly midweek movie marathons.

"Oh no, please spare me the horror!" Greg laughed, he took a long sip of his coffee before looking back to her and smiling "We had a lot of fun"

Sara scanned her eyes over him. The soft smile and wistful expression, the way he glanced out of the window and his eyes clouded over.

"Look at you all loved up!" She declared with a wide smile "Its disgusting! bring back the real Greg!"

Greg flicked the coffee stirrer in her direction and shrugged.

"Jealous?" He teased "Anyway... about this sister..."

Sara sighed, she had been trying hard to forget about it. Michael's words still echoed in her mind. She had come back to Las Vegas hoping that she wouldn't look at every woman who passed her on the street wondering if maybe it was her. The truth was she was scared of finding her and finding out that she was like Michael already. Maybe he was right and they were genetically pre-programmed to fail whether they grew up in a destructive family or not.

"I don't want to find her anymore..." She muttered.

Greg frowned, surprised and confused by her change of heart. She had seemed so keen to find this girl when they spoke on the phone. He wondered what could have happened to make her change her mind so definitively.

"Why not?" He queried, attempting to catch her eye.

"Its... complicated. She probably doesn't want to know anyway. Its better for everyone if she just gets on with her life" Sara murmured, trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince him.

"How do you know that?" He pressed on. He wanted to be sure she knew what she was doing before he destroyed all his hard work.

"Just leave it Greg" She declared, the angry bite in her tone instantly making her feel guilty "But thank you anyway. I appreciate it"

She met his eye with a soft grateful smile and Greg shrugged.

"I didn't find her you know..." He muttered, pretending not to notice the way her interest peaked.

"You didn't?" She was surprised. It really should have been a straight forward search considering she had given him some pretty specific details.

"Nope. I narrowed it down to 8" He explained, pulling the list out of his breast pocket and sliding it across the table.

Sara drew breath, her curiosity peaking as she quickly scanned her eyes over the list before averting them.

"I don't want to" She muttered, trying to keep her eyes on the window or Greg or anything but the names in front of her. "I'm sorry Greg... I... I just can't"

Greg nodded, sensing the sadness seeping out from her pores. He reached out and rested his hand on the paper, her eyes involuntarily following and fixing on the words printed there. One name in particular seemed to jump off the page and she shook her head sadly.

"She used her own name..." She found herself whispering to no-one in particular.

"What?" Greg frowned, pulling the list away and stashing it in his pocket again.

Sara looked up from the table as though in shock. The number of lies she had been fed over the past few days was exhausting.

"Sandra... she told me she posed as Amy's mother" Sara explained as her brain ran through the vast amount of information she had collected on the subject "I assumed she meant my Mom... but she used Clark. She used her own name"

Greg thought about what she was saying, his mind creating the story as it unfolded in front of him. It was no wonder she looked so drawn and tired, it was hard for him to get a firm grip on the details it must be near impossible for her.

"so its Amy Clark? She's the one?" Greg couldn't help but get excited at the thought he had actually found her after all his work breaking the list down.

"It makes no difference" Sara sighed as she nodded "I still don't want to find her"

They sat together in companionable silence, sipping their coffee and watching the world go by until Sara realised she had to leave for her class. it had been a while, and she missed it. Exercise was a great distraction technique, not to mention a way to let go of all the unresolved stress and tension in her body. She glanced at her watch and began gathering her things.

"I have to go" She explained as Greg stood from his seat to wrap her in a warm hug "you haven't forgotten Dinner?"

She and Grissom had invited them over for dinner, a novelty for her considering it was rare they were together long enough to be staging dinner parties with other couples.

"Of course not. We'll be there" He reassured her as he walked her out to her car. She pulled away from the coffee-house and headed across town to her class wondering why Sandra changed the baby's name. Its possible she had planned to keep her after all and changed her mind somehow. She knew it was highly likely she wouldn't find out, Sandra didn't have long left in her fight and Sara didn't really want to go pestering her for more answers when she had already decided to forget about Amy.

She pulled into the parking lot, scanning the cars for signs of Robyn and seeing none. Her time keeping hadn't improved since she met Greg that was for sure. Sara wandered into the building on her own and headed to the class, taking position along the back row where she could stay invisible and undisturbed.

True to form Robyn turned up halfway through the warmup, grinning at the instructor as she shuffled to her place beside Sara and shrugged her apologies.

Sara felt rejuvenated and energised after her workout. She had left Robyn talking to the instructor to shower quickly and collect her things from her locker. Their traditional after class coffee was forgotten today since they would be sharing a meal in a matter of hours anyway and Sara wasn't sure she wanted to hear the instructor's inane chatter today anyway.

"How were you still late?" Sara quizzed Robyn when she finally appeared in the locker room beside her "Greg said you were ready before he left"

"I was" She smiled with a shrug "But then I realised I was too early so I did some cleaning and I had to change again"

"I hear you had a nice weekend?" Sara smirked, wondering if Robyn was as bashful as Greg pretended to be.

"We did... it was great" Robyn couldn't keep the smile from her face.

"I didn't mean to disturb you" Sara explained, hoping she hadn't gotten in the middle of a romantic tryst "If I'd known..."

"Its ok" Robyn smiled "I understand. Did he find her?"

Sara sat down on the bench, waiting for Robyn to finish retrieving her things so that they could walk out together.

"I think so." she nodded "But I'm not taking it further. I don't think she needs me turning up at her door looking for a family"

Robyn twisted her hair into a hairband, frowning slightly as she pondered Sara's statement. She slung her bag over her shoulder and they began walking out of the building.

"Smight be looking for a family too" Robyn offered with a hopeful tone.

The sunshine hovered in the middle of the sky, casting a warm orange glow over the parking lot they stood in. Robyn was parked closer to the doorway, they loitered around her car.

"I'm not sure I'm the right person to give her that" Sara stated sadly as Robyn swung her door open.

"I guess the information's there if you change your mind... take your time. its a big decision."

Sara nodded as she walked away, shaking her head at Robyn's tyres screeching on the tarmac as she pealed out of the street and headed home. Sara drove home quickly, keen to kick off her shoes and relax in familiar surroundings for a while. Music surrounded her before she even opened the front door.

Grissom stood by the stove, humming to himself as he stirred a huge pot. The smell of his cooking wound around her like a hug, embracing her heart as she approached him with a soft smile.

"You started without me?" She smirked as she wound one arm around his waist.

"I bore easily" He declared, pressing a small kiss on her cheek "You don't mind?"

Sara laughed recalling the reason's why it was a good idea for Grissom to cook. Her adventures into culinary experimentation had never gone well. She and Greg had even been asked to leave their Thai cooking class for arguing over just about everything in every class.

"When was the last time I cooked for company?" She smirked knowing it wouldn't be difficult for him to answer.

"July 10th 2008"Hhe declared without a moments thought.

"And you remember that because..." Sara raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes.

"We all got food poisoning" Grissom sighed.

Everyone remembered that particular dinner party well. She had been subject to many jokes and teasing at the lab afterwards and swore she would never stage another dinner again.

"Exactly" Sara nodded, taking the spoon and scooping some of the soup Grissom was stirring.

"You can set the table if you like" He offered, glancing behind him momentarily. He had already set out the table-cloth and utensils, a vase full of white lilies stood on the counter waiting to be placed beside the candle holders in the centre. They didn't have people round for dinner often but every now and then they liked to have a special meal between the two of them.

"Are you sure I can handle the responsibility?" She teased, unfolding the cloth carefully.

"I trust you" Grissom smiled "How did it go with Greg?"

Sara paused momentarily wondering whether she should tell him the truth. He had been very vocal about her taking her time to process everything and not rush into anything. He was right of course but that didn't mean she was ready to admit it. The fact that Greg had found her sister and she had took a step back only illustrated to him that his advice had been useful and the last thing she needed right now was someone telling her he told her so.

She glanced over at him checking the food in the oven. He was always so endearing in the kitchen, he had such an eye for detail and concentration she couldn't help but smile at him.

"He found her... I think" she muttered, throwing the tablecloth over the table with a flourish.

"He did?" Grissom immediately stood, looking at her with concern in his eyes as he tried to decide if she was upset or worried or ecstatic about this information.

"Yeah..." She nodded "I told him I didn't want to know"

He stopped what he was doing and watched her as she carefully placed 4 placemats on the table, tearing her eyes away from them to meet his eye with a sad smile.

"Are you sure that's what you want?" He questioned quietly.

"For now it is" Sara sighed, realising that taking her time to figure out how she felt about the whole thing was a good idea after all.

She crossed the kitchen to retrieve the cutlery, gratefully receiving his gentle kiss to the cheek as she passed.

"I think that's the right attitude to have" he declared.

"Maybe" Sara responded shortly. She placed the cutlery down on the placemats carefully. Her conflicted mind pulling her in different directions. "Do you think I'll be left wondering forever?"

"Wondering what?" Grissom asked, turning back to his cooking.

Sara placed the flowers and the candlestick on the table. standing back to admire her handiwork as she sighed and glanced around the room.

"What she's like... who she looks like, where she is, what she's doing... what her life's been like?"

"I don't know" Grissom confessed, turning to look at her again "Maybe"

She leaned back against the counter, staring at the floor and wringing her hands together.

"I just wish I knew what to do" She explained with a sigh.

"You will" He soothed, passing her a glass of wine "Just take your time and you will"

"I hope so" Sara nodded, taking the wine with her to get changed.

She emerged a short time later wearing a green wrap around tea dress with her hair wound into a messy bun and clipped with a tiny clip. The minimal make up she wore was enough to liven up her tired skin and bring the sparkle back to her eyes as she took the stairs back into the living area and smiled at him.

"You look beautiful" He declared when she reached the floor.

"Thank you" She smiled, smoothing out the skirt and smiling at him anticipating the night ahead.

"What time are they arriving?" Grissom asked, looking at his watch.

"Around 7 but Robyn's always late" She explained "I think you'll like her"

"For her time keeping abilities?" He smiled.

The doorbell broke through the sound of Grissom's music and Sara immediately made her way to the door while Grissom adjusted the volume and twisted the teacloth around in his hands.

"No, you just will. trust me"


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Thank you for all your lovely reviews! Hope this clarifies some things for you all! :o)  
Let me know what you think! Charli xx**

Sara opened the door wide, ushering Greg and Robyn in with a smile. They both stood awkwardly in the space by the door as Grissom approached them, drying off his wet hands with the towel.

"The entertainments here" Greg smiled, shaking the bottle of wine he held in his hand.

Sara rolled her eyes, taking the wine and guiding them further into the space. Greg was minding his manners, it amused her an immense amount as she watched him politely stand with Robyn instead of throwing himself on the sofa like he normally would when he visited.

"Robyn, this is my husband Gil Grissom" She explained, gesturing towards Grissom with her spare hand.

Grissom stretched his hand out towards her, his eyes scanning her features carefully. He had never seen this woman before and yet there was a familiarity around her he couldn't quite place.

"Nice to finally meet you, Sir" Robyn smiled.

Grissom shook her hand carefully, his eyes scrutinising her the entire time.

"Please, call me Gil" He smiled, helping her out of her jacket and steering her into the living area. Greg loitered behind with Sara, gazing after them with a frown.

"Can I call you Gil?" He questioned with a sideways glance at Sara as she playfully slapped his arm.

"No Greg" was his only answer, a smirk crossing his lips as they kept walking down the stair case to the vast living space.

"Harsh" Greg mumbled under his breath.

"I'll let you call me Gil if you'll stop grumbling" Sara smirked with an elbow to his ribs.

"Oh god no, I think one Gil is more than enough" He smiled rubbing a hand over his wounded area.

They congregated in a small seating area by the huge patio doors, the cool night air waved in like a breath of fresh air. The setting sun casting its golden glow over the polished dark wood floor.

"Something smells good" Robyn remarked, taking a deep breath.

"Thank you" Nodded Grissom very proud with his efforts, he wandered into the kitchen and opened the oven door wide. "We're having roasted tomato soup to start, then goats cheese and carmellised onion tart and a banoffee pie to finish"

Robyn peered inside the oven and turned to Grissom with a bright smile. The tart was beginning to brown nicely, the smell of the melted cheese surrounding the kitchen.

"I'm impressed!" She exclaimed as Sara moved to join them in the kitchen area. She slipped onto a stool by the breakfast bar and leaned on the counter.

"Yeah... I don't cook" she explained.

"It's in everyone's best interests" Greg teased by her side wincing as Sara slapped his bare arm.

"You'll be eating on your own tonight Greg!" Sara warned with a half-smile.

Greg playfully swung his arm around Robyn's shoulders, pressing a small kiss to her forehead. Robyn settled in his arms looking like there was nowhere in the world she'd rather be.

"Robyn would eat with me" He declared, very certain of himself as he grinned at the two women.

"I don't know" Robyn began , drawing a gentle hand across his chest and smiling at him "It does smell really good"

"There is a serious lack of love in this house" Greg huffed as they moved back to the seating area and took their seats on the sofa's. Grissom hovered around the drinks cabinet, bottles chiming off each other as he rooted around.

"White ok for everyone?" He asked, already removing the top of a large bottle of Chardonnay. he took four glasses and the bottle to the table, placing them on the surface before filling each glass and turning his attention back to Robyn. "So, Robyn... what do you do?"

Robyn startled, taking the glass from her lips and placing it back on the table.

"I teach" She stated quietly " I'm a kindergarten teacher. Its... a lot of fun"

"Robyn's a pro at finger painting" Greg piped up, tilting his glass in her direction with a wink. Grissom could tell she didn't appreciate his words, he didn't mean to belittle her career of course. it just came out that way. He could also tell it was a discussion they had indulged in many times before.

"Actually Kindergarten is an essential part of the education system. They learn to read, write, count, socialize, problem solve... children become an individual in kindergarten" Grissom explained.

"You sound just like her!" Greg smiled, throwing a playful air kiss in her direction.

"A class full of 5 year olds is my worst nightmare" Sara mused from her armchair.

"It's not so bad" Robyn shrugged "You'll never find anyone less judgemental than a child. My class is so full of honesty and purity... its refreshing when you find the opposite everywhere else"

"Well I'm in town for the next week or so. If you wanted a lesson on bugs then I'm your guy" Grissom offered with a friendly smile.

"And freak them all out with your 'collection'?" Sara teased, gesturing across the room to the collection of tanks and boxes covering every available space. Robyn's eyes danced over the eclectic collection with some interest.

"You collect bugs?" she asked as she stood from her chair and crossed the room to peer at the curiosities properly.

Grissom followed, watching the intrigue lighting her eyes as she took in his tank full of cockroaches. The feeling that he knew her from somewhere was only piqued by her curiosity.

"Among other things" He shrugged "These are African Hissing cockroaches"

He tapped the glass inciting a symphony of hissing from the insects. Robyn smiled and moved on to the next tank, a Praying Mantis he named Marty and his ant farm. She frowned at the next one, initially failing to spot his stick insect as he raised the glass top of his favourite pet; his tarantula George.

"That's a stick insect" He explained "Sometimes its near impossible to find him"

Robyn nodded as she examined the contents of the tank carefully.

"I think the kids would love a minibeast project" She finally admitted.

Grissom let George walk onto his hand before slowly raising him out of the tank. One of his favourite ways to judge a person's character was by introducing them to his many pets.

"Kids usually do. they're normally very open-minded. you may even have a budding entomologist in your class" He smiled.

Sara looked over, rolling her eyes at his need to show off his bugs to every guest they had.

"Gil, we're supposed to be having dinner. George wasnt invited" She smiled, quirking an eyebrow at him.

"I'll wash my hands before dinner...she doesn't mind" He defended with a smile.

Robyn's eyes were firmly fixed on the spider in his hand. She studied it carefully, almost as if she'd never seen one before.

"May I?" She asked, reaching out a delicate hand towards George's hairy legs.

Grissom nodded kindly. She looked nervous, her hand trembling slightly as it met the body of the spider. She drew back, gasping a breath and fixing her smile. Grissom couldn't seem to shake off the feeling that he knew her from somewhere. He studied her facial expressions, analysed the tone of her eyes and the spattering of freckles that dotted around her nose.

"Are you a Vegas native Robyn?" He asked quietly, gently cradling her hand and moving George into her palm.

"Yeah" She responded, not daring to move too much "I grew up on the outskirts. Me and my dad moved downtown when I was a teenager"

Her hand trembled as George settled into position. Her eyes were fixed on the body of the spider and she barely let out a breath as she stood there transfixed.

"What did your dad do?" Grissom continued, detecting her discomfort and removing George from her hand. With a grateful smile she returned to Greg's side and sipped her wine as he draped his arm around her shoulders.

"He was a chiropractor. Had a practice on East Tropicana" She explained, leaning back and settling into Greg's arms.

Grissom wondered if he had ever visited Robyn's father for anything. East Tropicana was a frequent haunt of his when he worked at CSI, given it was only around the corner from the police department and a favourite playground of criminals.

"Did you go to UNLV?" He asked, sitting beside Sara and taking his wine from the table.

Sara's frown burned into his skin, making him shrug a shoulder in her direction. He was aware he was asking a lot of questions, he made a mental note to reign his curiosity in slightly.

"Robyn's a Coyote" Greg grinned with a nod of approval "Cal State's finest. She was even a Delta Pi"

Robyn shrugged slightly but nodded in agreement. Grissom's mind began whirring again, knowing he had never been a student or lecturer at California State.

"Didn't you go to Cal State, Greg?" Grissom frowned.

"Hell No! I'm a Stanford Graduate, the Coyote's were never a patch on us Cardinal's" He Grinned.

"Greg you know nothing about sports!" Sara argued.

"Hey, I know enough to know the coyote's sucked" He smiled playfully.

The Oven timer chimed in and Grissom excused himself from the conversation. Sara and Robyn were regalling Greg with tales of the other regulars at their gym class. Within a few minutes he had served up the food and they were all seated around the table.

"So, I take it there's no burgers?" Greg smiled with a wink towards Sara across the table.

"You can serve burgers when you host Greg" Sara smirked with narrowed eyes.

"Good Idea - are you free next Julember?" He scooped some of the steaming hot soup into his mouth and gasped in surprise when it burnt him.

"That's Karma right there" Sara laughed.

"Its Tomato... not Karma" Greg retaliated.

"Actually Karma has nothing to do with punishment or payback. Its simply the understanding that all our actions have consequences" Grissom piped up, completely missing the playful nature of their conversation.

"You're a buddhist too?" Robyn smiled, unsure what to make of Grissom's ever analytical viewpoint.

"No, just well read" He clarified with a nod.

Conversation turned to religion, a debate that never grew tired in their home. The wine glasses were emptied and refilled as the food disappeared and the conversation kept flowing. By the time they had finished eating they had covered many conversational topics from the weather to the state of the economy and world peace.

Grissom had collated a vast amount of knowledge in a short time about Robyn. Her religious views and upbringing, the demise of her parents and a plethora of information on her young son. He connected it all in his mind finally beginning to make a whole picture out of the puzzle in his mind. he was beginning to draw an unlikely conclusion, a theory that was just so absurd it could be entirely sunset had been replaced by the silvery glow of moonlight and the fresh breeze filled the house with little effort. Sara began clearing the plates as Grissom closed the patio doors as a cold chill settled over the room.

"Can I get everyone a coffee?" She asked with a smile.

Robyn stood and helped clear the table, Greg and Grissom returning to the soft sofa's and letting the two women chatter in the kitchen.

"She's nice..." Stated Grissom carefully. Throughout dinner he had watched Robyn converse with his wife and slowly come to a conclusion he wasn't sure he could be sharing with anyone else. It was in her eyes and that slightly crooked smile, he knew he had seen it before and when he realised where he also realised just how obvious it was.

"Yeah she is" Greg grinned, taking a sip of the whiskey Grissom handed him.

"She's a pretty girl too" Grissom continued, studying Greg's expression to find out if he had already drawn the same conclusion.

"I know" He nodded.

"She... doesn't remind you of anyone?" Grissom pressed.

Greg frowned immediately, looking at Grissom and searching his expression for answers.

"What? who?" Greg stumbled as he tried to catch up with Grissom's thought process. Grissom raised an eyebrow as the sound of the women laughing filled the air and Greg's eyes grew wide "What? No. No she can't be..."

"Is she adopted Greg?" Grissom questioned.

Greg instantly found himself shaking his head and wondering how Grissom could possibly know that from spending just a few hours with her. He swallowed the lump in his throat and turned to face him.

"Yes" Was the only answer his dry mouth could manage.

"Does Sara know?" Grissom spoke quietly to ensure she didn't hear, his concern for her was evident it his soft expression. Greg shook his head, his mind reeling as the women's voices came closer and closer.

Greg's eyes shot to Sara and Robyn strolling back towards them side by side. There were undeniable similarities between them; the auburn tone in their hair, their slim frame and the amber highlights in their eyes but those traits could be attached to any number of people in the general population. It didn't necessarily mean they were related.

Still, a seed of doubt had been implanted in his mind and his brain echoed with Robyn's confessions that night when they had searched for Amy. She took the space beside him, coffee slowly cooling in her hands and Greg wondered how much she knew about her real family. If she had tracked them down she would know whether her name had been Amy and whether they shared a date of birth but he had never shared those details with her and it had never occurred to him to ask. Greg absent mindedly draped his arm around her slender shoulders phasing out the conversation surrounding him. He was busy building the puzzle in his mind, working out a theory.

"Greg? are you with us Greg?" Sara's voice penetrated his daydream forcing him to turn his attention back to the party. She waved her hand in front of his eyes as everyone stared at him and a blush coloured his cheeks.

"Sorry, I'm... tired I guess" He shrugged, turning to Robyn for a second "Is it ok if we head home?"

He hadn't told Sara but he had always intended to continue researching the whereabout of her sister after she'd told him to stop. He knew Sara better than most people and while she may be saying she didn't want to know he could see the conflict in her eyes.

Now he had a theory to work on he was itching to get back on the trail.

He just had to make sure Robyn was oblivious, she had made it clear she had no interest in her family. If Grissom was right this could cause all sorts of problems, there was no telling how Sara would react. Not to mention Robyn.

He had a headache already.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Sorry for the delay with this - Damn Real life interfered with FF life this week and its been rather hectic. I shall TRY to update again on Sunday to make up for it but please don't hold me to it! I'm actually attempting to write it right now so fingers crossed I get it done (please ask my muse to behave!) Love Charli xxx**

Mrs Parish glanced up at them momentarily as they tried to creep through the door of Robyn's home. The cab ride had passed without too much discussion, she had settled in his arms and fought off the Sandman the whole way while he ran through every scrap of information he had on her and on Sara.

"Joel's in bed" She explained, bundling the knitting on her lap into a bag "Did you have a good time?"

Mrs Parish was a kindly old woman, her soft white candyfloss hair framed a small smiling face. She slowly shuffled across the floor towards them in her pink slippers as they froze there like naughty teenagers.

"We had a lovely time" Robyn finally stated, taking the elderly womans hands in her own "Thank you for minding Joel"

"He's a good boy. Keeps me company - I'm knitting him a scarf for his dinosaur" She explained.

Mrs Parish grinned at them both and shrugged off their thanks before disappearing out of the door. Robyn walked along the hall to Joel's room, she stood at the door to gaze on the sleeping child with his dinosaur firmly tucked under his arm. Greg moved to stand beside her, his hand resting gently on the small of her back.

"I remember feeling so upset when I found out about him - The thought of being a mother, a single mother, terrified me" She muttered quietly, nodding her head towards her son "He's the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Don't you ever think about your mother? Your birth mother?" Greg whispered as though afraid to raise the subject with her.

Robyn crossed the room to tuck Joel's blanket around him and press a kiss on his cheek. When she returned to his side her hand stroked his cheek and her lips found his softly dancing across him with feather like softness.

"Sometimes I do. But then I remember that she made her choice" Robyn laced her fingers through his and led him to her bedroom.

"What if she had no choice?" He wondered out loud as she sat on the edge of the bed and unhooked the button holding her dress together. It peeled from her shoulders and fell to her waist like a flower blossoming.

With a sigh she stood, letting the dress fall to her feet and stepping out of it. She crossed to the huge wardrobe and pulled out a small wooden box hidden among the teddy bear collection. Robyn placed it gently on the bed, opening the lid carefully and closing her eyes when a melody filled the air.

"My Dad bought this for me on my 10th birthday" She explained sadly watching the tiny ballerina dance around before taking a crumpled letter from the pink satin interior. "I kept her letter"

She handed it to Greg with a shrug. He held it there in front of his eyes for a few long moments until it felt heavy between his fingers. Greg carefully unfolded it from the envelope, swallowing the lump that had built in his throat. Casting his eyes over the words he began to understand why Robyn had detached. The resentment shone through in every word and even though he had no personal connection to it at all he found himself feeling the hurt and confusion that she probably did.

On reaching the end the scrawled signature of her birth mother danced across the page and burned into his brain. Her name was Sandra. Greg was beginning to realise the connections he kept drawing between Robyn and Sara were not mere coincidence. Grissom was right.

"Who's 'we'?" He mumbled when he finished reading. Robyn frowned so he read aloud from the letter "_We_ don't want to hear from you again, _we_ have moved on, _we_ don't need this pressure"

Robyn shrugged "I never thought about it"

"What if she had other children?" He asked casually. He had to find out how she would feel about the prospect before he could even think about telling her his suspicions.

"What if she did?" Robyn muttered, tying her hair into a knot on the back of her head.

"Well... they would be your brothers... your sisters? What if they're looking for you?"

He sat down on the bed, glancing at her momentarily before folding the letter back into its envelope and placing it on the bedside cabinet with his watch.

"Then they'll find me" She finally admitted "I'm not exactly hiding"

She slipped under the covers and leaned on her elbow to watch him undress. He was secretly pleased with her reaction. She hadn't dismissed the idea of siblings finding her and hadn't judged them to be the same as her mother.

"Why are you so interested in all this anyway?" She asked, eyeing him with fake suspicion as he settled into the bed and gathered her body close to his chest. He could feel her muscles relaxing immediately, her breathing slowed and he could feel her heartbeat thudding against his chest slowly slow down as she let go of all the tension of the day.

"I dunno... I'm intrigued. Families fascinate me and yours especially seems very interesting"

She rolled her eyes, obviously not agreeing with his synopsis of her family. He drew gentle patterns up and down her arm, relishing the feeling of her soft breath on his bare chest and her warm skin against him. He could feel his eyes getting heavy as he sunk further into the pillows but shook himself awake until he was sure she was deeply asleep.

Carefully, he raised her head from the crook of his arm and settled her on the pillows. She turned over with a sigh, pulling the covers around her and curling her legs up. Greg brushed an errant strand of hair from her face and watched her sleep for a few long moments wondering if uncovering her past would change the beautiful relationship they shared.

He slipped out of bed and headed directly for the wooden box in the wardrobe - it obviously held her most precious things. If he was going to find something personal from her childhood it was there. He crept into the living room with it held firmly under his arm. Scanning the vast living area he tried to think of the places he had seen her put papers and photographs. A large display cabinet stood against one wall with an array of tiny drawers covering the lower portion. In the top stood photographs in silver frames and awards and trinkets of all descriptions.

Greg crouched to his knee's opening drawer after drawer as he looked for a birth or adoption certificate. In one drawer he found an old photograph of Robyn. She must have been three years old, smiling out at him with the same smile that turned his heart over in his chest. He stared at the image for a long time, searching for an epiphany that would tell him the truth.

Finding none, he slipped the photograph in his suit jacket hanging over the back of the chair hoping Sara may find her familiar.

He didn't find a birth certificate in the drawers, instead turning his attention back to the box. he hunted the surface for an off switch, knowing the melody would echo off the walls of the silent house and wake her up.

He found none, no off switch or mechanism to prevent the song giving the game away. He moved to the sofa, wondering if he was going to have to go outside in his underwear again and scare all the neighbours. Using one of the overstuffed cushions he opened the lid and muffled the sound before taking the bundle of papers out.

At first it seemed like run of the mill things. Joel's scan photo's, an old black and white image of a couple being married that he assumed was her parents, some letters from a woman named 'Kara' in Germany and an old love letter from her ex husband he was incredibly tempted to read. As he was about to give up he finally found what he was looking for - Her birth certificate proudly displaying the names of her adoptive parents and the date she came into this world.

It was enough for him to start digging with, he may even have solved this mystery by morning.

The sound of footsteps forced him to freeze in place, his brain desperately trying to think up an explanation for his rooting through her most private possessions but he needn't have worried. A very sleepy Joel padded into the room rubbing his eyes.

"I had a nightmare" He explained with a quiver in his lip.

Greg stood from the sofa and raised him into his arms, holding him tight against his body as he moved back into the bedroom. Joel rested his head heavily on Greg's shoulder.

"What was your nightmare about?" He asked, rubbing his back before laying him on the bed and tucking the sheets close around him.

"A monster" He muttered, his eyes scanning the room quickly.

"A monster?" Greg exclaimed "Did you know... I am a fully qualified monster hunter?!"

Joel smiled and shook his head, his hair splaying across the pillow. Greg got up from the bed and began sniffing the air as he wandered around. he twirled around the curtains, searched under the bed and dramatically opened the closet while Joel giggled at his over exaggerated efforts.

"There's no monsters here" Greg stated as he perched back down again. "And they are all scared of me anyway so as long as I'm here - you're totally safe"

Joel nodded and sat up to throw his arms around his neck. Greg took a deep breath and gently laid him back down, stroking his long hair away from his face.

"You get some sleep now ok? And we won't tell your mom ok? She doesnt like Monster Hunters" He pressed a finger to his lips to emphasise that before walking across the room and stopping at the door and whispering. "Goodnight Joel"

Joel turned in his bed, satisfied with Greg's handle of the situation as he settled back to sleep and as Greg closed the door he was almost certain he hear him mumble 'goodnight daddy' into his pillow.

Greg paused in the hallway wondering what he should do about that. Robyn said Joel's real dad, her ex husband, had never been around. She never delved into detail but he got the impression their parting was less than amicable, he was deployed to Iraq before Joel was born and never made it home. The poor kid never knew his father.

Shaking off the feelings of guilt and responsibility he now found himself feeling he trudged back into the living room and switched on Robyn's laptop. He could run a search on her Birth details and hopefully find the original document and therefore her orignal name.

It didn't take long to complete the trail, the name Amy Clark blinking on the screen somehow terrified him. He had a strange feeling of foreboding as he thought about what this could mean. with a sigh he switched off the computer, almost wishing he hadn't looked at all. He placed the birth certificate in beside the photograph already planning how he was going to go about telling Sara this when she had already told him to back off.

He replaced the box as quietly as he could, glancing at her sleeping soundly in the bed. This little bit of information would change so much of her life. She had a family, a real life living and breathing family she was genetically linked to. A family she was about to learn a whole lot about. He slipped into bed beside her once more, staring at the ceiling until slumber gripped his body and turned the night into day.

Robyn was gone by the time he woke up. with a groan he searched for his watch, the letter she had shown him falling to the floor like autumn leaves. It only served to remind him of the duty he had to Sara today, he had to tell her. She deserved to know.

He wandered around the house feeling a little bewildered by it all. He wondered if his attraction to Robyn had been based on his relationship with Sara, he had spend a large portion of his time hung up on Sara Sidle it made sense that her sister would be the next best thing. That being said, personality wise they were two very different people. Robyn didnt have that shadow in her eyes he often saw in Sara, she didn't harbour the same ghosts and he worried that when she found out her story that maybe she would inherit those ghosts. He had seen Sara break down and self destruct, he had seen her run from everything she held dear. He had suffered his own sorrow as a result of that and he wasn't sure he could deal with it again. Truth be told, he didn't want to lose the Robyn the way he had lost Sara those years ago.

He lazily fixed himself some breakfast and watched daytime TV curled up on the sofa, eventually heaving himself into the shower and forcing himself to tidy up. He wasn't alone in her house very often - he usually didn't stay on school nights when they had to leave early and he was working at night. It seemed surreal wandering around unsupervised but he realised there was more of him in her home than he had thought.

He had a toothbrush placed in the bathroom beside hers and Joel's. His toiletries lined a shelf in the shower just like hers did. He had a drawer full of spare clothes he had worn or brought here that she had washed and pressed before storing them lovingly in a lavender lined drawer. His Beers sat in the fridge, his ever increasing pile of DVD's stood beside the TV. A photograph of the three of them smiling together at deep sea world sat on the dining table beside his keys and ID. He had made himself at home without even realising it.

On his way out the door he pressed his phone to his ear and waited for Sara to pick up. It was time to come clean and face the consequences. Whatever they may be.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: OOO I did it - I've been home 4 hours and have literally done NOTHING but type this up! hope you all enjoy :-)  
Love Charli xx**

It was well gone 4 by the time he managed to get hold of Sara, she answered her phone with a somewhat audible frown.

"18 missed calls?!" She exclaimed "Can you say 'stalker'?"

Greg rolled his eyes and shrugged off her tease.

"I need to talk to you" He stated firmly, already swinging his jacket over his shoulders and searching for his car keys.

"Well I figured that... come round. I just got home"

Sara hung up the phone with a shake of her head turning back to the coffee machine as she filled two mugs. The smell of the rich, freshly brewed coffee filled the air and she took a deep breath letting it mingle with the air in her lungs.

"That boys got issues" She smiled as she crossed the room and placed the mugs on the table.

Robyn was staring at the stick insect tank again, still trying to locate the elusive insect.

"Who? Greg?" She nodded in agreement, finally giving up her search and approaching the sofa's."He's special alright."

"He's a good friend" Sara muttered, thinking about all the things he had done for her "I don't know what I'd do without him"

"He's a good man, they are very hard to find these days. Trust me" Robyn smirked.

"Oh believe me I know. I'm so glad I don't have to worry about that anymore..."

Grissom was meeting Nick for dinner, too often when he was in town it was only for a short time and he didn't get the chance to catch up with anyone else. He was taking full advantage of the time he had at home.

"Gil seems like a nice guy" Robyn smiled "He asks a lot of questions"

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that... I have no idea what got into him. he's not normally that interested in new people" She chuckled.

Greg pulled into the driveway. Robyn raising an eyebrow towards Sara as he made his way up the path towards the door. He didn't knock, he very rarely did when she knew he was coming over but he stopped in his tracks as his eyes landed on Robyn.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, her presence seemed to sweep the world from under his feet. He had worked out a perfect speech, planned the best way to tell Sara everything without upsetting her and now he was too stunned to even walk across the room.

"Nice to see you too!" She teased, placing her coffee mug on the table carefully and leaning back in her chair to watch him carefully.

Greg didn't really know how to proceed, Robyn being around hadn't factored in his plan and he knew he had to tell Sara in private. He knew that her reaction was likely to be an angry one at first, and the last thing he wanted was for her anger to be directed at Robyn.

Greg quickly glanced from Robyn to Sara, his eyes gleaming with a strange emotion as he figured out the right words.

"Robyn...would you mind if I talked to Sara...alone..." He found himself saying turning his attention to Sara and trying to convey the urgency he felt.

Sara frowned at Robyn wondering if she knew what was going on before shrugging towards Greg and perching on the sofa.

"It's ok. She can stay" She declared with some certainty.

Greg sighed finally finding the self-control to make his way across the room.

"No. She can't" He spoke through gritted teeth, trying hard not to see the hurt look in Robyn's eyes. eventually she would know he was doing this for his own good but for now he would have to live with being the bad guy.

"Greg... whats going on?" Robyn muttered, her brow furrowed as she approached him. Her gentle hand stroking his arm made a thousand doubts appear in his mind.

"I just...I have to speak with Sara and I need to do it in private" He spoke through gritted teeth, flinching his arm away from her touch as she frowned looking between Greg and Sara attempting unravel the silent conversation.

"Fine" she stated shortly, crossing back to the sofa to retrieve her things.

"No, you don't have to go Robyn" Sara stood as she spoke "Greg... whats this all about?"

"It's...something important...work..." He shrugged trying not to alarm either of them.

"Then talk about it now...you won't bore me..." Robyn gave a small laugh smiling at him.

"It's complicated...chemistry stuff you wouldn't want to listen...it won't make sense to you" Greg again attempted to make her leave. Sara cleared her throat, finally catching Greg's helpless eye.

"You mean I'm too stupid to understand?" She muttered, shaking her head as she slung her purse over her shoulder.

"I mean that I need you to go away Robyn..." He flustered, not really aware how vicious his words sounded until they filled the air. Robyn paused, hurt reflecting in her eyes as she looked at him and Sara took a step forward awkwardly standing beside him.

"What Greg mean's is - we've got a long shift ahead of us and I have a lot of catching up to do" She said with a soft smile attempting to rescue the situation.

"Oh I know what Greg means" Robyn hissed as she moved across the room "Thanks for the Coffee Sara"

She left without a backwards glance, the anger radiating from her body lingered in the room leaving an atmosphere thick with tension. Sara crossed to the window, watching as Robyn's car pulled away from the street and out of sight before turning to face Greg with a bewildered expression .

"What the hell was that all about?" She exclaimed "I know I'm the poster girl for self sabotage but you went out of your way to upset her!"

Greg began to pace, his mind racing with a million and one problems. Robyn was mad at him, Sara was probably going to be mad at him, as a result Grissom would be mad at him and there was really nothing he could do to make this situation any easier.

"I...I know... I had to. I need to talk to you" He finally turned to face her, deciding that the best thing to do was deal with each problem one at a time. Greg gently took her hand, guiding her onto the sofa and taking a deep breath.

"Greg... your scaring me. Whats going on?" Sara stared at him with wide eyes and he realised he had no idea what to say anymore. His carefully crafted speech had been lost in his altercation with Robyn and he'd come too far to dismiss it all as nothing.

"I...Robyn..." Greg could feel himself panicking, he took a deep breath and pressed his eyes closed finally muttering as he exhaled "She's your sister"

The air seemed to leave the room as time stood still. Sara stared at him, her eyes unseeing and unemotional. He wondered for a moment if she had heard him and considered saying it again until she slipped her hand out of his, her eyes fixed on the floor.

"She was adopted... at a few days old...They changed her name" Greg began to ramble, hoping to snap Sara out of her daze with the facts. "I uhh ... I know you asked me to stop..."

"Stop" She muttered in a daze, slowly lifting her eyes to his "I told you I didn't want to know..."

"I know... but its Robyn! I mean... that's a good thing right?" He tried to justify but Sara shook her head.

"It can't be her" She stated with some certainty, crossing into the kitchen to start the coffee machine again. Greg followed, fishing in his pocket for the document he needed.

The photograph fluttered out of its own accord, coming to rest at her feet as she turned to him with a mug in her hand. She followed his glance to the image on the floor, the unmistakable smiling child looking out at her churning her stomach. With a gasp the mug fell from her hands smashing on the floor in an explosion of ceramic and hot coffee. The photograph curling at the corners with the heat as she stared at it and tears formed in her eyes.

"I was going to keep looking just in case you changed your mind but then Grissom said..."

Sara's eyes shot to his, her lip quivering with the overload of emotion she was suffering.

"Grissom...?" The word came out in a whimper, disappearing into the air with her tears.

"He said she looked familiar... and asked me if she was adopted" He continued "..it never occurred to me that it could be her... never in a million years"

"You need to leave her" She stated.

Greg frowned, certain he had heard her wrong but the expression on her face spoke otherwise. She was absolutely unwavering in her certainty as she held his eye contact with her lips held in a firm straight line.

"You need to leave her" She repeated. "You need to break up with her"

Greg was bewildered by her demands. He realised wasn't sure how to react., he had prepared for her to lash out, to cry or to question him relentlessly. This was something he hadn't prepared for.

"What? No, I'm not leaving her...why would you even say that?" He frowned.

Sara swept the shattered mug and the photograph into the trash as though she could pretend it never happened. The lid closed over on the image and Sara wandered aimlessly around the space gently running her hands across furniture and coming to a stop outside the stick insect tank.

She crouched down to glance inside, spotting the insect on a small branch in the corner almost immediately. With a disappointed sigh she turned to look at Greg as he watched her expectantly.

She had thought about telling him the full story many times before. He had never been the kind of man to withhold a good listening ear and on many occasions she had taken him up on the offer of a shoulder to cry on or an arm to lean on. For some reason the subject of her family had always been avoided, she suspected he knew she had been a victim of abuse. either through his own research or just by the way she sometimes behaved. She was never well versed in hiding her resentment towards abusers of any kind but especially people who abused those more vulnerable than them. It was no secret in the lab that she became so emersed in such cases she forgot where the victim ended and she begun.

"Just...trust me ok? you need to leave her. She's bad news"

Greg shook his head, following her path to sit beside her on the sofa again.

"Sara, you love Robyn! Up until today you were happy for us to be together... whats changed?"

"Everything's changed" She insisted as she thought about the personality traits and illnesses that had forged the fault lines in her family. The way Michael's life had been destroyed by the memories and the guilt hadn't really been a surprise to her and even although she spent a large proportion of her childhood out with the confines of her family Sara still found herself battling her ghosts.

"I don't understand...She's the same person" He frowned.

"You don't want her in your life Greg...If she is my sister...then your better off without her" She stated sadly.

"You're obviously not thinking straight Sara... this is ridiculous" Greg moved to stand, intending to leave her alone until she had cleared her head enough to see things clearly but she reached out her hand and grasped his wrist.

"Its not ridiculous! do you know why she was adopted Greg? Why I grew up in foster care or why I never talk about my family? didn't you notice my mothers address was an institution?"

Greg sat there stunned for a few minutes words falling silent on his lips. Part of him wanted to protest, to tell Sara that she was wrong and Robyn was different but he respected Sara too much to dismiss her concerns in such a way.

"Sara...I love her. I can't leave her" Greg sighed, hoping he could make her understand.

"Does she know?" Sara asked quietly.

He could almost see her mind working. He could envision all the tiny pieces of information lining up in her brain to create a full picture.

"I haven't told her yet" He sighed, wondering just how mad she was going to be when he spoke to her next. He had a lot of making up to do.

"Don't tell her" Sara exclaimed, apparently excited at the idea "Maybe she never needs to know. Maybe we can pretend it never happened"

Greg was beginning to get irate with her attitude of avoidance.

"No we can't pretend it never happened! Sara...what are you so scared of?!"

"I'm scared that she'll turn into my mother... or that she'll turn into me or spend the rest of her life afraid that she'll turn into either of us" Sara admitted in an outburst of honesty.

Greg paused, wrapping his arms around her and letting her tears soak into his shirt.

"It wouldn't be so bad if she turned into you, you know... I happen to think you're pretty awesome" He soothed.

When he finally calmed her down enough to have coffee his thoughts turned to Robyn. She was bound to be upset with him after the way he spoke to her. When Sara excused herself to go to the bathroom he dialed her number, his heart turning somersaults in his chest with nerves.

they'd never had an argument before. He hoped his reasons would justify his actions and that she would give him a chance to explain at all.

"What do you want Greg?" She snapped when she answered.

He could hear the sound of her stereo in the background and traffic noises. It made him immediately nervous a strange feeling tying knots in his stomach.

"Are you driving?" He asked, already well aware that the answer was yes.

"I need to pick up Joel" She stated keeping the conversation very matter of fact and sharp.

"Look Robyn... we need to talk" He muttered.

"I have nothing to say" She replied, the sound of tires on tarmac making him wince on the other end of the phone.

He could picture her driving along the highway, her inability to drive slowly taking control as she weaved in and out of cars. The rain was beginning to fall, covering the streets in a sheen of water and he could imagine how poor visibility would be.

"Robyn... please, I didn't mean what I said. Will you calm down?"

"I am perfectly calm!" She screeched "But I don't want to speak to you right now. I want to collect my son and go home to watch god awful midweek TV and eat ice cream"

Greg took a deep breath rolling his eyes at her irrationality. His patience was wearing thin.

"Robyn...you need to speak to me" He insisted.

Sara padded back into the living room, sending a soft smile his way.

"No, I really don't" She declared.

Her defiance was certainly familiar to him. Sara could also keep an argument going for days if she put her mind to it, so much so that often he forgot what they were fighting about in the first place.

"Robyn... Sara's your sister" He stated, immediately regretting the irate tone he used and the circumstances under which he'd told her. For the longest time all he heard was silence as he called her name into the phone until a barely audible whisper entered the phone.

"What are you talking about?"

Greg opened his mouth to reply but a deafening crushing sound filled the phone that made his heart stop in his chest. He heard the sound of the car colliding with another, he could hear the airbag, he could hear the commotion and the scream... and then for a long time he heard nothing.


	21. Chapter 21

Greg felt like his world had come to a shuddering halt as he listened to the events unfolding on the other end of the phone. He slowly turned to Sara as the sound of chaos filled his ears. He could hear someone shouting for an ambulance as they unfolded the drama before them and he felt incredibly helpless.

"Robyn! Robyn...will you please tell me you're ok?" He called desperately into his phone.

Sara met his eye and frowned, crossing the space between them to look over him with concern. His skin had taken on a pale chalky appearance, his hands trembled and his eyes were wide with fear.

"Whats wrong?" She muttered quietly in his ear.

"I...uhh I think she's had an accident...I think she crashed" He stammered, his mind rushing through everything he knew about car accidents and fatalities.

"Well...where? You need to go..." Sara frowned at his calm reaction. He was in shock and she had to snap him out of it before it was too late.

"I don't know. She was going to get Joel..." He stumbled, stuffing his phone into his pocket.

"And she probably goes the same way every day, right?" She rationalised.

Greg nodded, grabbing his discarded jacket and walking to the door. He was on autopilot, moving without really knowing where he was going or what he was doing. It was almost like an out of body experience, he willed himself to be by her side but he was stuck here at least until he could get across town to find her.

"Greg..." Sara said authoritatively "I'll drive"

Greg directed her to the highway, knowing her route to Joel's daycare she would have been on this road when he called. Nerves took grip of his entire body as they drove in silence feeling like they had been on the road for hours. The traffic always tore along this road as fast as they could. He had lost count of the number of accidents he had witnessed or attended out here over the years and yet every one replayed in his mind as they drove along. Every twisted vehicle and bruised and battered body taunted his conscience as they passed mile after mile.

The car turned a bend and Sara had to slam on the breaks as they hit a wall of traffic. Cars stretched on as far as the eye could see, bumper to bumper without moving an inch and Sara tuned the stereo into the traffic news. The news of a 3 car accident didn't help calm his nerves and he exchanged a sideways glance with Sara before stepping out of the vehicle.

"Where are you going?" Sara called after him, the rain beating down on her skin.

"I need to know she's ok" He declared, wrapping his jacket closer around his body.

Sara scanned the horizon, knowing that there was no way of knowing how long the traffic snaked on for. Cars filled every available space. She stared at her windscreen, spotting the blue light tucked halfway in the glove box and was struck by a sudden epiphany.

"Greg! get back in the car! We'll take the hard shoulder"

Greg broke into a run coming back to the car and sending her a grateful smile as she tossed the light in the window and turned the car onto the free lane. They passed lines of irate drivers, none of them moving an inch, the blue light flashing rapidly and declaring their urgency.

Red and Blue lights filled the air as they rounded another corner and Sara came to a screeching halt. Greg drew breath quickly as he scanned the scene in front of him piecing together the events from the aftermath.

Police cars formed a roadblock, officers taking photographs and notes and interviewing shaking witnesses and bloodied victims. Shattered glass and car parts littered the tarmac leading to a blue car with its front end crushed beyond recognition. The blue car had collided with a large white van, the driver seated in his cab as he gave a statement to a police officer. He was apparently unharmed, although the side of his van had a rather large dent.

An ambulance sat beside the blue car, transporting a trembling man from the passenger seat. His arm secured in a makeshift sling to ensure he could move without too much discomfort. A woman who had obviously been the driver wandered around the vehicle sobbing as she spoke on her phone.

Greg desperately searched the scene for Robyn's car as Sara spoke to one of the officers. Eventually his eyes caught sight of a patch of silver behind the van and he carefully calmed his nerves before walking around the wreck. The thick smell of smoke and fuel filled the air, crawling over his skin like oil as he moved across the road, the glass crunching under his feet.

His mind couldn't help but work through the vast amount of memories he had of Robyn; her smiling face, the taste of her lips, the scent of her skin as she settled into his arms at night. He thought about losing her and all that it would entail and his stomach churned violently.

Robyn's car was on its roof, the front and side of the vehicle mangled into a mess of tangled metal. Greg could feel every step he took thudding through his body as his head spun and everything seemed to lose focus. The fire service had pulled their truck up alongside her car, the men surrounding it looked worried which only made him feel worse. His lungs couldn't seem to heave breath in and the scene seemed to stretch out before him as though he was in a tunnel. In a dream-like state he took the few more steps towards her as the Jaws of Life tore apart the vehicle and the ambulance crew descended on her lifeless body.

Greg stopped in his tracks, the horror of the situation hitting him suddenly like a sledgehammer thudding into his chest. Her skin was so grey, blood trickled down the side of her face from a gash on her head, the red contrasting violently with her skin as it reached the oxygen mask they had placed over her mouth. The ambulance crew took great care in moving her from the vehicle. Her neck was secured with an orange brace, her back supported by a board as they slowly moved her to a stretcher.

He could hear a gurgling sound from her throat as he approached and the paramedics sprung to life ramming a tube down her throat and strapping her to the bed as they finally moved her into the back of the ambulance.

"Is she...dead?" Greg found himself saying as he stood by the doors watching them.

They pumped drugs into her arm and flashed lights in her eyes. Greg found himself fixing on her unseeing eyes, the black of her pupil removing the honey and amber tones he had memorized and adored so much. A sense of loss filled his soul before the emergency crews even answered. A young female paramedic steered him away as he looked over his shoulder to see them scurrying around her in a desperate attempt at saving her life.

"Sir... do you know this woman?" She asked calmly.

Greg stared at her for a few long moments before he found the ability to form words. He tried to swallow, his mouth feeling incredibly dry as he took in her kindly face and soothing smile.

"She's...my girlfriend. Her name is Robyn"

"Ok Sir, Robyn is going to have to go to hospital. Do you know if she has any existing medical conditions we should know about?"

Greg frowned but shook his head, turning once again to look into the ambulance. The paramedics closed the door, stealing her from his sight.

"Is she going to be ok?" He muttered.

"We're doing all we can sir" She stated with a sympathetic face as she made her way back to the ambulance.

"I want to go with her..." He demanded, panic beginning to rise in his stomach. The woman nodded and escorted him away, his eyes scanning the scene for Sara. She was approaching them at a marching pace eventually spotting him and nodding her understanding that he was leaving.

Inside the ambulance Greg took Robyn's hand in his gasping as he felt how cold she was. Her hand hung limply in his, unresponsive and lifeless. It terrified him.

The paramedics hooked her up to a machine that traced her heart beat as it slowly fluttered in her chest. The comfort he found in the melody of beeps was immense. A machine breathed for her, rhythmically making her chest rise and fall as they moved through the streets of Las Vegas headed for the hospital.

All of a sudden her hand tightened violently around his and her body bucked and twisted on the trolley. One of the paramedics held onto her head, another injecting some clear fluid into her arm as she continued to shake, her nails digging into the flesh of his hand until she tore through the skin.

"Whats happening?" Greg questioned as the paramedics relayed information to the people driving the vehicle. The siren sounded faster, they began to move in and out with more haste and as Robyn's body stopped seizing so did the comforting beep of the machine tracing her heart.

The long monotone sound it let out tore right through his heart as he realised what it meant. His breath shuddered in his chest, tears stung at his eyes as he found himself begging her to hold on under his breath. A male paramedic demanded he release her hand, to which he stared vacantly at his face until he was physically removed from her. It took them 3 attempts to bring her back, her blouse torn from her body for accurate placement of the defibrillation pads. Her body bucking violently as the shocks ripped through her.

They screeched to a halt outside the hospital and in the rush that followed Greg found himself aimlessly wandering into the ER following the trail of commotion behind her. The paramedics relayed a million and one things to the doctors before the kindly woman he had spoke to earlier guided him to the waiting area and pressed a cup of water in his hands.

"She's in the best place" She muttered, patting his shoulder before following her colleagues out. His head fell into his hands as he stared at the doors to the room she had been taken to. Not knowing what was going on in there was driving him crazy, time seemed to slow down for him and rush forward for others. People came and went, various injuries passed him by unnoticed, other family members and patients tried to speak to him. He sat there unmoving silently willing Robyn to live.

Sara arrived a short time later, sitting beside him and silently wrapping her arm around his shoulder. Her presence should have been soothing but instead it reminded him of what he stood to lose and the fear filled his soul.

"They had to shock her in the ambulance" He whispered "She was dead in there ... for a long time"

Sara's grip around him tightened and it was clear she didn't know what to say. A doctor exited the room scanning the space quickly as Greg hastily took to his feet.

"Robyn Morrisey?" Greg questioned. "I'm her partner, Greg Sanders"

The doctor nodded, reaching out his hand to shake both his and Sara's with a sympathetic smile. He had short cropped salt and pepper hair and sharp grey eyes that spoke of his intelligence more than his words did.

"My name is Dr Crews" He explained "I've been working on Robyn"

"Is she ok?" Greg interjected, the panic in his voice evident immediately.

"She's in very serious condition" He said, glancing at his notes momentarily "But we have a problem with her treatment"

Greg glanced at Sara with a frown.

"What kind of problem?" She asked.

He showed them both to a small room away from the waiting area. It was decorated in light blues, a vase of flowers stood on a small wicker coffee table and two soft sofa's sat across from each other. The coffee table was littered with pamphlets on dealing with greif and Greg swallowed the lump in his throat trying to prepare himself for the worst. He sunk into one sofa, keeping his eyes trained on the doctor as he closed the door and took the other sofa.

"I'll leave you to it" Sara muttered uncomfortably. She felt like a stranger here in the family room, an impostor at a time when only those closest to her needed to be there. "I need to make a phone call anyway"

She excused herself, heading outside and leaving them alone. Greg drew breath and turned his attention back to Dr Crews.

"Robyn has an advance directive in place restricting the medical intervention she is allowed. Basically, we can't do anything but make her comfortable unless it is overturned"

"What do you mean?" Greg muttered, trying to understand what was going on. The words didn't seem to sink in properly, hovering around in the air with no meaning as he stared at the doctor willing him to clarify his position.

"Robyn has some severe spinal trauma and swelling on her brain. Her Pelvis has been shattered and bone fragments have entered her spinal cord. These can move through her body, potentially reaching her heart, lungs and even her brain. We could surgically remove them and drain the fluid... but she has a directive in place. One she initiated a number of years ago preventing medical interventions"

"Well... how do we lift the restrictions? Show me where to sign?" He pressed.

"It can be difficult to do Mr Sanders. You're not married... do you live together?" He asked, sighing when Greg shook his head to indicate no "I'm afraid we need a close relative or a court order to overturn her decision and time really isn't on her side right now"

"She doesn't have anyone..." He muttered quietly. His body felt like it was shutting down, his head spun, his heart thumped violently in his chest and he felt like he couldn't breathe. He looked to the doctor, silently begging him to have a solution.

"Then I'm sorry Sir, but you may have to say your goodbyes"


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Check me out updating early! :-) It was ready so I figured I'd go for it! let me know what you all think - Charli xx**

Sara watched as the doctor walked out of the room and disappeared back inside the ER leaving the door ajar just enough for her to peer inside. Greg sat on one of the sofa's inside the tiny room with his head in his hands, she couldn't hear him but she was certain he was sobbing. Taking a deep breath she heaved herself from the small plastic chair she had been seated in and slowly crossed the floor towards him. Her heels clicked loudly off the clinical floors and she felt as though all the eyes of the other patients and visitors were burning into her as she made her way to that room.

She gently closed the door behind her, looking over Greg and feeling an overwhelming sense of sorrow. He looked broken, more loss reflected in his eyes than she had ever seen in another person. Sara crouched down in front of him, one hand resting on his leg the other tilting his face to look at her.

"Greg... what happened?" She whispered, afraid that her words would assume a huge magnitude if she spoke too loudly.

"She's...she's dying" He muttered weakly.

It was as though saying the words suddenly made it real. His shoulders shook as sobs overwhelmed him and Sara wrapped him in her arms. She had never seen him like this before. Greg was always the positive to her negative, the dark to her light. She simply didn't know how to respond when the roles were reversed.

"What did they say?" She questioned figuring the more information she had then the better placed she would be to comfort him.

Greg took a deep breath, pulling himself together and leaning back in his chair as Sara moved into the space beside him.

"There's swelling on her brain and bone fragments in her spinal cord...She's in bad shape." He sighed staring at his hands as they trembled in his lap.

Sara drew breath having been ill prepared for hearing such devastating news. In a way, hearing of her death would have been easier to deal with than having the possibility of immeasurable disabilities hanging in the air.

"I'm sorry Greg" She muttered, not sure what else she could say.

"She needs surgery... to save her life but she has this stupid directive in place stopping them. They won't let me lift it, they won't save her...They won't save her." He rambled, his voice escalating in desperation and then falling in despair.

Sara found herself wondering what could have made Robyn put such restrictive rules on her own medical treatment. It was never something they had discussed in the time they had known each other but it struck her as out of character for a woman who had basically lived for her son for the last 5 years.

"She was so scared of being trapped in her own body" Greg said, as though hearing her unspoken questions "they held onto her mother for 4 months...I don't think she ever recovered from that"

"that's understandable" Sara whispered, kneading his shoulder gently.

"But that was before! It was before Joel... it was before... us"

Greg shook his head as he struggled to cope with the reality of the situation or the justification behind Robyn's decisions but Sara understood. Sara had first hand experience of the realities of brain injury, she had seen what hanging on to a person's body could do to the family. They simply stopped living themselves. Robyn had been 14 when her mother died, she could only imagine the way it had made her feel to see someone she loved fading away in such a way.

"Maybe she made the right decision Greg. maybe its best to let her go" She said in what she hoped was a soothing voice.

Greg quickly raised his head, frowning at her and shaking his head in disagreement.

"How can it be the right decision?" He argued.

"What if they operate and she ends up paralyzed or brain damaged?" Sara questioned. She wanted him to see past his own loss and understand that sometimes letting go is the only thing to do.

"What if they operate and she's fine? What if she gets better and 3 weeks... or 3 months down the line she walks out of this hospital? What if all she needs is the chance?" He stood, the stress of the situation clearly affecting him as he paced the tiny space rubbing a hand over his face. "You can fix this"

His eyes fixed on hers, wide with the realisation that he had a living breathing and fully able to consent relative of Robyn's in front of his very eyes. He viewed her like a beam of light shining down to grant them another chance but Sara was already shaking her head.

"What? I can't fix it" She debated.

"You can! I'm so stupid. you're her sister... you can lift the restriction. You can consent to the surgery!"

In the drama Sara had forgotten all about the bombshell Greg had delivered her earlier that day. The haste and commotion had washed away the burning resentment she had felt but she felt strangely numb at the thought of losing her sister on the same day she had gained her.

"Its not what she wants Greg" Sara realised that while Greg may want her to live more than anything at one point Robyn had felt so strongly about this subject she had went to the trouble of making it legally binding.

"Sara... please. You have to understand, I know she wouldn't want to give up this easily. She's your sister remember. She's a lot like you, you know? She's strong and determined and completely adverse to someone telling her she can't do something" He laughed despite the tears in his eyes and the desperation in his voice "She wouldn't do this to Joel. She wouldn't leave him on his own..."

"He'll have you" Sara whispered.

He was asking a lot from her. She had known of her relation to Robyn for less than a day and was expected to make such a major decision about her life. The magnitude of the responsibility weighed heavily on her shoulders as she thought about how she would feel if someone overturned her last wishes to avoid their own loss. She realised she couldn't put herself in Robyn's shoes this time. She didn't have a child to worry about nor did she have any kind of ill thought out directive in place regarding her health care. Whether or not Robyn's wishes now were the same as they had been ten years ago she couldn't say for certain.

"But he won't have me! I have no claim over him. He will be taken away, placed in foster care with a strange family. I'll have to say goodbye to him too. He wont have anyone"

Greg selfishly laid on the guilt, forcing her to think of Joel as he fell asleep in a strange bed like she had as a child. She pictured him clutching his dinosaur to his chest as the sounds of other children crying seemed to radiate from the walls and strange shadows danced in the corners.

"Greg, it's not my decision to make...I can't do this" She muttered, her eyes brimming with tears of her own.

Greg kneeled in front of her, catching her eye and clutching her hands in his.

"I'm begging you. Please... let them save her. I can't let her go, I can't lose her. Whatever you feel about being her sister...it doesn't matter now you'd be saving her life"

Sara stared at him for a few long moments, her mind whirring at an incredible speed as decisions and debates collided over and over again desperately trying to form a decision to adhere to. She had never had such responsibility before and it scared her.

"I can't..." She shook her head and stood, intending to leave the confines of the room that seemed to be closing in around her. She needed air, the fresh clean kind you only found hundreds of miles away from the city her mind suddenly yearning for the cabin by the lake. Her heart lurched when she thought about the last visitors to the cabin. She thought about how many beautiful memories they must have created there and how broken Greg would feel if Robyn recovered and didn't remember them. Brain injuries were never simple, even after so much research and time it still remained a mysterious organ to most and there was no predicting how effective surgery could be in draining the fluid surrounding it. There was every chance the damage had already been done and prolonging her life would only stand to serve Greg.

"How can you stand by and let her die like this?" He yelled at her, his temper flaring as desperation filled his veins "Are you jealous? is that it?"

"What are you talking about? why would I be jealous?" She spat, offended by his ridiculous accusation.

"That I'm not your lap dog anymore? That maybe she has the chance of a better life than you? that maybe she was happy?" He continued, collapsing onto the sofa again, his exhausted body bare;y able to hold his weight anymore.

"You're being ridiculous" She dismissed.

Sara knew that getting into arguments with the people you loved in such tense situations never ended well. She and Greg shared a special kind of friendship, one based on trust and honesty and she wouldn't jeopardise that by attacking him when he needed her despite the poison on his tongue.

"I'm not the one being ridiculous here Sara, I never thought I'd see the day where you'd refuse to save someone's life" He shook his head as though he was incredibly disappointed in her.

"It's not like that, you know its not" Sara retaliated, reminding herself that he didn't mean to say such vicious things.

"You're probably glad to get her out of the way, you never wanted her as a sister anyway"

Sara pressed her eyes together, attempting to hold her nerve and understand what Greg was going through. She had bitten his head off more times than she could count, she had lost her temper and took it out on him too frequently too mention. It was often the case that people took out their frustrations on those they were closest too.

"That's not fair Greg... she was my friend too"

"Don't do that! Don't talk about her like she's gone already" Greg cried.

"Greg...I'm sorry" She sighed, realising she had run out of justifications and arguments.

Greg sunk into the sofa again taking one of the pamphlets into his hand and staring at the image of flowers on the front. A soft smile curled the corners of his mouth but it didn't reach his eyes, they were still shadowed with grief.

"We were going to see Cirque at the mirage this weekend" He stated sadly, turning his hand over to reveal the word 'Love' written on the underside of his wrist "She really wanted to see it... it was going to be a surprise"

Sara nodded, they had discussed it at dinner. She and Grissom had been to see the same show a few days before in an attempt to spend some quality time together while they had the chance. She couldn't claim to be a huge fan of the beatles but the show had captivated her and Grissom especially had enjoyed regaling both Robyn and Greg with enthusiastic reviews of the special effects and sound quality.

"She would have loved it" Sara said, sitting beside him and draping her arm around his shoulders. Greg traced his fingertips across the word scrawled into his skin with a sigh.

"She wrote that so I wouldn't forget what it was called" He clarified.

They sat together in silence for a few long moments, Sara lightly resting her head on his shoulder trying to offer some comfort as time slowly slipped away Greg seemed to pull himself out of the darkness he had sunk into. He placed the pamphlet back on the table, straightened out the flowers and stood up taking a deep breath. His eyes were still rimmed in red and drained of the sparkle they usually held but he was at least fully in control of his emotions for the time being.

"I need your car keys" He stated, holding out his hand to receive them.

"What for?" Sara questioned as she fished in her purse for the small bundle of keys.

Greg scanned the room carefully then looked directly into her eyes as he took the cold key from her hand.

"I have to go get Joel" He said "He has to say goodbye to his mother"

With that Greg turned and left, the searing mark of his eyes still burning her skin as she sat there in the tiny room wrestling with her own conscience.

It seemed like she had been sitting there for a lifetime running through the conversation she had just had and reliving memories of her time with Robyn. She certainly hadn't seemed the type of person to give up when faced with a challenge. She had raised a child alone, holding down a full time job and doing so with a positive attitude she envied. It's true that Sara didn't want to accept her as a sister but not for the reason's Greg seemed to think. She liked Robyn, she cherished the friendship they had created and she loved the way her relationship with Greg had grown into a once in a lifetime romance. What she didn't like was the probability that it would all come crashing down when the inevitable Sidle family curse came to call.

One thing she was certain of was that Robyn had never been happier. She had told Sara herself that very same day and no matter how many times she told herself that Robyn made her own decision about this the niggling doubt in the back of her mind was screaming at her and reminding her it was made long before Joel or Greg were ever around.

Dr Crews stuck his head around the door, frowning at the lack of Greg but smiling at her as he stepped into the room.

"Is Greg around? He can go in and see Robyn now" He stated keeping his voice clear of emotion.

Sara shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"No, he's gone to collect her son. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions about Robyn's condition?" She held her breath, not entirely sure what she hoped to gain from her questioning.

"I'm not sure that's entirely appropriate Miss. I must adhere to patient confidentiality" He nodded apologetically.

"I...I'm Robyn's sister" She muttered quietly almost hiding from the truth in the words.

Dr Crews frowned and sat on the sofa directly across from her, resting his elbows on his knees as he leaned towards her.

"Mr Sanders said she didn't have anyone else..." He explained.

"I guess he forgot about me... we only met recently" She said, making reference to her relationship with Robyn rather than her relationship with Greg but the doctor simply nodded and met her eye.

"What do you want to know?" He asked, exhaling slowly.

"If she has the surgery... what's the prognosis?" Sara asked bluntly. It was one of the things plaguing her conscience most. She could only imagine the guilt she would feel if she prolonged Robyn's life only for her to remain in a vegetative state or unable to live the life she deserved.

"If we get in there quickly? The damage to her brain will be minimal and as long as we can keep the bone fragments below her chest the likelihood is she will escape paralysis, at least long-term paralysis" He said, holding her eye contact "There are always exceptions though and all brain or spinal procedures hold great risk"

Sara nodded her understanding, biting down on her bottom lip as she absorbed the new information. This was a positive prognosis, the chances of her surviving and making a full recovery were high effectively removing her fear that consenting to the surgery would ruin the rest of Robyn's life.

"Does she have to know who consented?" She asked realising it was a strange question "Will she know it was me?"

Dr Crews frowned at her but soon fixed his expression. It was something she had to know before she considered signing.

"Well... if she asks we can't legally keep it from her" He stated cautiously "But if she doesn't ask then she may never find out"

Sara sat back in her seat, contemplating everything she had been told. She pictured Greg, looking so broken and empty as he stared at the word penned on his wrist. She pictured the way he had held Robyn so tight to his body when they arrived for dinner and the way they met each other's eyes across the table. She pictured Joel's cheeky little face and how hard it would be to explain to someone so young that their mother wouldn't be coming home. Taking a deep breath she fished a pen from inside her purse and looked back at Dr Crews with a practiced expression of determination. There was no time for doubts anymore.

"show me where to sign"


	23. Chapter 23

Greg drove across town in a daze, barely registering other cars or where he was going. He had gone through a multitude of emotions in that little room and now his body had gone into defense mode and shut itself down. He knew it was an unheathy reaction to grief; The numbness he allowed to become his companion, he knew he should be letting it all out while it was bubbling under the surface but his focus at this moment in time was getting Joel to the hospital.

He pulled the car up in front of the large single storey building and cast his eyes over the colourful paintings and drawings over the windows. A young mother led her little girl through the doors, the kid was smiling and skipping alongside her mother without a care in the world and Greg could feel tears stinging at his red rimmed eyes again. Taking a deep breath he pressed his head against the steering wheel and closed his eyes.

For a few long moments he stayed like that, trying to clear his mind of all the sadness that cloaked it. It was impossible to do, everything brought his consciousness back to Robyn and the fact that he was losing her. A cautious tap on the window made him snap out of it and slowly turn around to face the young mother he had watched shortly before. He opened the window, staring at her in bewilderement.

"Sorry to disturb you but... is everything ok?" She smiled at him, clearly worried for his sanity.

Greg scanned the parking lot, picking out the little girls blonde pigtails in a nearby vehicle.

"I'm fine." he croaked, realising his voice sounded as broken as he felt "Thank you"

The woman faltered for a second before nodding and turning back to her own car. Greg watched her leave, the little girl waving cheerily from the back seat as they passed by. His cellphone chimed, the song filling the small space and making his head pound. He glanced at the caller ID, seeing it was Sara and cleared the call. He couldn't talk to her right now, he had to hold it together for Joel.

He stepped onto the wooden ramp that led to the front door feeling like the world was spinning around him. It was beginning to get dark, the sun dipping below the horizon cast an orange glow over the dramatic cloud formations cause by the recent storm. Tiny colourful footprints led the way to the door, the glass covered with rainbow coloured handprints.

There was a secure entry system in place. Greg had only ever been here twice before; sports day when he had somehow ended up in the dad's race with his ankles tied together and once when Robyn thought she was running late and they had actually arrived at the same time.

He could picture her flustered and stressed arriving at this very building and throwing her arms around him with a wide grateful smile. He could almost feel her standing beside him lacing her fingers through his as he pressed the entry button and nervously stepped through the door.

The receptionist frowned at him immediately. He peered into the interior, sighing as he realised Joel was the only child still here.

"I'm here to collect Joel Morrisey?" He offered, hoping that this would go easily.

"Umm its usually only his mother who collects him..." She muttered suspiciously as she tapped keys on the computer. "There's no one else on his list"

"His mother's had an accident. I'm her partner, he'll be fine with me" Greg explained, trying to keep the desperation out of his voice.

The woman glanced at Joel and the woman he was with as they read together in the story corner and then back at the computer screen.

"I'm sorry. I can't let him leave without consent" She stated in a flat voice.

Greg pinched the bridge of his nose, reminding himself to calm his temper.

"Please..." He sighed, trying to appeal to the woman's better nature.

"He doesn't go anywhere without the consent of his mother" She stated definatively.

"Look... that boys mother is dying in a hospital bed right now, if I don't get him there in time to say goodbye are you going to explain to him why?" Greg growled, leaning over the desk.

"I'll have to get my manager" She stated, leaning back in her chair with eyes wide and a quiver on her lips.

"Thank you" Greg called as she scurried out gaining the attention of Joel and his teacher.

Joel came rushing to the gated reception waving enthusiastically. The teacher followed closely behind with her eyes firmly trained on him. He could feel the same suspicion burning into him he had recieved from the receptionist.

"Are you picking me up?!" Joel asked, bouncing on his heels to see over the gate.

"Trying to, Joe" He smiled, ruffling his hair gently and feeling sadness gripping his heart again.

"I drew you a picture" He smiled, darting across the room to find it. Greg shifted uncomfortably on his feet as the teacher stood there, her eyes still trained on him, analysing him, judging him. Joel handed him a colourful painting of 3 people holding hands and a huge yellow sunshine. Greg swallowed the lump in his throat as he stared at the image silently.

"That's Greg" Joel told his teacher happily "Greg's my dad"

Greg gasped at his introduction, unsure how he should react. He wanted nothing more than to create a family with Joel and Robyn. They had made plans for the future, a future together. They were going to have a lifetime together and retire on a deserted island with his and hers bathrobes.

"Greg" The woman smiled, offering him her hand "We've been hearing a lot about you"

Greg forced a feeble smile, shrugging off the compliment as it tore into his heart. Joel was so happy, he had a family for the first time in his short life and it was about to be taken away from him. Greg watched as he toyed with the buttons on his coat, the concentration on his face furrowing his little brow.

"Sir, my name is Rose Whitney" An ageing blonde woman stated offering him passage through the gate towards what was clearly her office. Greg hadn't anticipated finding it so difficult just to collect a child from daycare but he couldnt say he resented the scrutiny. He knew better than most how important it was to protect young children in this city.

"Look I just want to pick Joel up and take him to his mom" He sighed, feeling the weight of his emotions bearing down on him once more.

"I understand that but you have to understand, Joel's safety is our number one priority" She nodded.

"What do I have to do?" Greg responded, his words trembling on his lips. "She's... she's not going to make it...she might not see the morning"

Rose visibly withdrew as she pulled her breath into her chest and Greg found himself faltering over his honesty.

"I'm sorry..." She began in a whisper as he avoided her gaze "What happened?"

Greg thought hard about her question, he had been so caught up in the shock and drama in the aftermath he had never considered what caused it and now that he did his breath seemed to be knocked out of his chest.

"She... she had a car accident" He muttered sadly "We were on the phone... it was... it was my fault"

Despite his internal promise that he would hold it together he broke down in the office, Rose reaching out to grasp his hand firmly as he fought to regain control.

"I'm sure thats not true" She soothed, her voice slow and melodic.

"I just... need to take Joel to see her before... before" He couldn't seem to get the words out as they choked in his throat and stung at his eyes. Rose nodded her understanding indicating he didn't need to continue as she tapped some keys.

"I'll need to see some ID, Mr Sanders and may I ask which hospital she is in?"

Rose was suddenly businesslike and unemotional again and Greg silently thanked her for that. It gave him the chance to pull himself together again as he relayed the information she needed and slid his LVPD ID across the table.

"You know you could have said this was a police matter... we would have let him go with a police officer" She stated with a small nod as she retunred his ID.

"I'm not a police officer" He mumbled "I'm just me"

Rose nodded to herself as she raised the phone to her ear and Joel came into the office, running to Greg and sitting proudly on his lap as the receptionist and teacher looked on with deep sadness in their eyes.

She spoke quietly to the hospital, trying not to upset Joel unneccesarily. When she hung up the phone she met his eye with a barely noticable nod.

"Ok, that checks out Mr Sanders. You're free to go, good luck" She said.

"Where are we going?" Joel asked, sliding down from Greg's legs and reaching out his hand.

"We need to go see your mom...she's.. she's sick" He stumbled looking at Rose in desperation "I uhh, I don't have a seat... for Joel"

Rose nodded, sending him a soft smile before heading to a closet and pulling out a booster seat which she passed to him.

"What happened to Mommy?" Joel continued as Greg took his hand and led him out the door.

"She had an accident Jo-Jo. I'm going to take you to see her but she probably won't be able to talk to you" He explained, the concern in the little boys face tearing him apart "Don't worry, everything will be ok. I promise I'll make sure everything is ok"

Joel settled in his carseat as Greg looked him over in the rearview mirror. He didn't understand and Greg couldn't decide whether that was a good thing or not. Uncertainty hung in the air as he thought of all the questions Joel would ask that he couldn't answer.

Across town Sara collapsed into the hard plastic chair with a sigh slipping her cell phone out of her pocket and dialling Greg's number again. He was blanking her, screening her calls because of what happened earlier and she couldnt tell him that she'd changed her mind.

The doctor had worked quickly, handing her a stackful of forms she didn't even get the chance to read properly. In a daze she signed her name and handed over her ID and they had simply abandoned her there dealing with the magnitude of what she had just done while they ushered Robyn into theatre.

She felt the warmth of an arm wrapping around her, his scent invading her senses immediately as her eyes locked with the clear blue of her husbands.

"You didn't have to come" She muttered, gently pressing her lips to his and settling into his arms. The familiar sound of his heartbeat in her ear and his gentle breathing calmed her immediately and she found herself feeling incredibly thankful he made the journey to the hospital.

"Of course I came. How is she doing?" He asked, squeezing her shoulders.

"She's Amy" She sighed, the shock still lingering in her mind "She's my sister"

Grissom was nodding although she didn't look up. Her eyes were fixed on the floor in an attempt to stifle her overactive emotions.

"I know..." Was his answer, warranting a suspicious raised eyebrow from Sara "There was just something about her" He shrugged.

"I wish I had known before I introduced her to Greg" She confessed, her eyes filling with regret "I told him to leave her... I... I didn't want him to get hurt"

"What makes you think he will?" Grissom frowned, fixing his eyes on hers.

Sara shrugged, the conflicts that had coursed through her veins when Greg told her the truth returning to plague her.

"You met Michael...You saw me break down and you heard all about my mother... would you really wish that on anyone? let alone Greg, he deserves to be happy. He deserves someone who makes him happy..."

Sara couldn't help the doubts and concerns filling her blood stream, the more she tried to supress it the more it consummed her. The images of her father she had burned into her brain morphed into images of Greg. Everytime she closed her eyes she saw him broken and bloodied and every breath she took told her she had to get him away from that. She had to save him from her family.

"She does make him happy, anyone can see that" Grissom responded calmly in contrast to her irrational ramblings.

"Yeah, maybe right now she does...It won't last. She's predisposed to alcoholism, schizophrenia, depression, drug addiction, spousal abuse... Do I need to go on? Because I could, you know I could..." Sara found herself ranting, unable to hold back the words on her mind as they spilled out of her mouth "I'd never forgive myself if something happened to Greg"

"Sara, calm down. You're judging Robyn based on the assumption she's going to have collected all the negative traits from your family and stored them up waiting for the moment when she breaks down?"

He struggled to follow her train of thought, she wasn't normally the kind of person who expected the worst from another individual. As a CSI she was empathetic to a fault.

"Anyone can have those traits and most of the time they are a result of much more than just genetics" He reassured carefully attempting not to belittle her concerns.

"She's going to want to know everything isn't she?" Sara sighed, picking at her fingernails; A nervous habit she had picked up over the course of the last few weeks.

Grissom simply nodded, his grip around her tightening slightly. She had spent so much of her life hiding her past that she wasn't sure she knew how to share it with someone like Robyn, someone she knew so little about. She groaned inwardly, resting her head on his shoulder gently as she realised there was no way to avoid it, sooner or later Robyn was going to know all about her.

"I don't think I'm ready"


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: I apologise for the delay with this one. It was hard to get just right... so this is my second draft. I hope you will find it ok it really almost killed me! I am incredibly sick so I can't promise I will be able to post on Sunday but I will try my best! Let me know what you think!  
**

Sara watched from the window as twilight descended over the city and brought it to life. Neon filled the skyline like a bad memory. She had come to this city seeking a fresh start, a change of scenery and a change of life but it had sucked her in to the darkness and every now and again she had to take a moment to find the light again.

Grissom handed her a plastic cup filled with steaming hot coffee. His eyes followed hers to the electric city outside and she wondered momentarily if he had the same thoughts she had. He had his own memories of this place, his own regrets and losses. Some of those memories were forever to be cherished, the moments they created together never failed to bring a smile to her face. So much had happened in her life she had hoped that all the drama was behind her.

She couldn't shake the feeling that Robyn was about to awaken all the darkness in her soul. The truth was Sara knew she deserved to know where she had come from she just wished she didn't have to be the one to tell her. Her entire life she had lived with the assumption that she was alone, she had detached from the idea of family in its entirety and accepted that she would never have someone she shared that kind of bond with.

There had been a time when she had envied those people who shared an intense familial bond with their brothers or sisters. In foster care she had shared a room with sisters; they had clung together through the lonely nights and whispered secrets to each other that she was never privy to. Her 10 year old self had always felt isolated by them and wished she had someone to share those moments with.

"The doctor said Robyn should be out of surgery soon" Grissom muttered.

He stood in the space beside her like her shadow, a constant silent companion who never failed to appear when she looked for him. She had once called him the only family she had ever known and that was true. He had made her feel like she belonged somewhere for the first time in her life, he had shown her just what having a family could mean. And she cherished that feeling with every beat of her heart.

Robyn had grown up with a family, she knew already what unconditional love meant. She knew how it felt to belong and be loved and never have to question the bond she had with other people. She would never understand how much Sara struggled to trust people, she would never know how deep the scars really ran.

"Do you think she'll be ok?" Sara found herself asking him, turning her eyes from the horizon to the comfort of his gaze.

Grissom's hand reached out to stoke her cheek, his caress enveloping her in its warmth.

"She's a fighter... just like you are" He pressed a kiss to her forehead, his lips lingering for a long moment as they stood there silhouetted by the window.

"What's taking Greg so long? He should have been here by now..." Sara wondered aloud, casting her eyes out of the window over the rapidly emptying parking lot spread out before them just as her truck screeched round the corner and pulled into a free space.

Greg looked like he was one word from crumbling. His red rimmed eyes stood in stark contrast to his newly pale complexion, his mouth was fixed in a firm straight line and she imagined he was struggling to keep it from trembling. He forced a smile for Joel in the backseat, swinging the boy into his arms as they approached the hospital as quickly as they could.

Before she even had the chance to reach him Greg had collared a doctor the concern shining in his eyes as he gave Robyn's name and waited impatiently by the huge white double doors that led to the trauma room's.

Her heels echoed across the vast space as she stepped towards him, wrapping her arms around her own body as a shiver worked its way up her spine. She tried to catch his eye with her own but he avoided her sympathetic glance knowing it would send him cascading over the cusp of his emotions when he needed to hold it together more than ever.

"Sir, Ms Morrissey is in Theatre" The doctor explained with a nod before backing away politely and disappearing behind the doors once more.

"How..?" Greg finally turned to face her, his eyes conveying all the questions his heart wanted to ask and Sara simply nodded, a small smile tugging at her lips as he pulled her into his arms and held her tight.

His grateful whispers disintegrated into her hair along with the few stray tears he failed to restrain and Sara realised she had made the right decision signing those forms. Her mind had been plagued with doubts when she had stared at those documents. The words seemed to dance off the page and spin around her as the doctor had stood by her side burning his impatient eyes into her forcing her to sign quickly and without really reading properly.

Time passed slowly in the waiting room, seeming to stretch out in front of them as the clock's ticking sound got louder and louder. Greg tapped his feet on the floor restlessly beside her, Joel coloured happily on the tiny coffee table placed in front of them humming to himself as Grissom read the health news newspaper.

Eventually a tall man appeared in the doorway and cast his eyes around the room full of relatives, calling Robyn's name out and waiting for a response. Greg shot to his feet, his eyes wide almost as though he was begging for good news.

Sara slowly pulled herself to her feet and swallowed the lump in her throat as she approached Greg and the doctor. A swarm of butterflies seemed to come alive in her stomach, the flurry of nerves responding to her rapidly beating heart as she considered the many consequences of Robyn's surgery. Joel slipped his little hand into hers, falling into step beside her as they approached the two men.

Greg was shaking the doctors hand enthusiastically as they arrived and she could only assume that meant it was good news. He turned to face them as the doctor retreated behind the doors. Greg dropped to his knee's, turning Joel to face him with a wide smile.

"Your mommy's going to be fine... she's going to get better"

Sara felt tension she didn't even realise was there suddenly relaxing. Greg stood in front of her and muttered yet another heartfelt thanks.

"What did they say?" She asked quietly, the words feeling scratchy in her throat.

"They've drained the swelling in her skull, they've got all the bone fragments from her spinal cord too... they won't know if she'll walk for a while but she was awake when they brought her to recovery so... at least she's conscious right?" He rambled excitedly. "A nurse is coming to get us and take us up to the ward"

The nurse arrived a short time later, guiding them through the maze of corridors and onto a bright open ward. Nurses and doctors scurried back and forth between rooms barely acknowledging their arrival as they were led to a small white room on one end.

Greg walked through the door without hesitation and Sara loitered by the window as nerves overwhelmed her system. Robyn didn't acknowledge his arrival; she was asleep or at least still drugged enough not to register his approach.

Her head was heavily bandaged, she imagined that the surgeon will have shaved her hair, at least at the back in order to access her skull. Her eyes were circled in purple bruising, one side stretching across the delicate sweep of her cheekbone and jaw. Tubes and wires snaked out from the canula in both her arm and hand on one side an uncomfortable looking metal brace held her body perfectly straight and pillows were stuffed around her in an attempt at creating comfort on the bed. It was tilted so that she was seated and as Greg took the seat by her side and raised her hand to his lips her eyes flickered open slowly.

Sara drew breath slowly as she saw the obvious emotion lighting Robyn's eyes when she saw Greg. She must have been so scared when she woke up in hospital, it was likely she would have no ide what brought her here. In most accidents the victims lost memory of the events directly preceeding it, a defence mechanism of the brains perhaps.

Greg pressed gentle kisses to each of her fingers and then to her wrist before he tangled his fingers through hers and rested them on the bed by her side. Joel left her side and went through the door, the caution obvious in his steps as he crept closer to the bed. Robyn smiled although Sara coud see the slight wince that crossed her face as she reached out to her son.

Grissom's hand rested on her shoulder, his breath tickling the hair that hung by her neck. His body behind her felt like a support system, a stake planted behind her making sure she always reached for the sun.

"She's ok..." she stated, almost not believing it herself.

She couldn't quite describe how it felt, her mind was a strange mixture of emotions covering every inch of the spectrum. She wasn't entirely sure how she should feel either, there wasn't exactly a handbook on how to deal with these situations.

A part of her yearned to be part of the beautiful reunion that was unfolding before her. She wanted to run into the room and declare herself and wrap her arms around her new found sister absorbing all the joy in her soul but she knew that was a naive expectation.

The more cynical part of her wanted to run. She was ashamed to admit to even herself that she was almost disappointed Robyn had awakened. It would have been easier to ignore if she had simply gone away and never made the connection.

"You should be in there" Grissom stated flatly, as though sensing her torment.

She stilled for a moment, her eyes still fixed on the three people sitting in the tiny room thankful for every breath they were being gifted. Grissom turned towards her, his eyes seeing into her soul much more than she would have liked.

"They're a cute little family" She sighed, smiling as Joel danced around the room clearly demonstrating something rather dramatic to his mother.

She looked exhausted, which was understandable. Every few seconds her eyes would droop heavily and she would heave a gentle and clearly painful breath into her chest, her grip tightening on Greg's hand each time.

"You are part of it you know..." Grissom reminded her.

She nodded, acknowledging his statement without confirming she agreed. Greg turned his eyes to the window and waved her inside. Without thinking too much she slowly stepped inside the room, a small smile her only greeting to Robyn. She didn't really know what to say, after all this time 'Hi I'm your sister' just didn't seem good enough.

"Sara saved you" Greg explained.

Sara pretended not to see the frown that furrowed Robyn's brow, instead choosing to take Joel's hand.

"I think all that can wait Greg... it's getting late. I'll take Joel out to the car, you can catch up when you're done" Sara said, hoping that the quiver in her lips wasn't as evident as she suspected "I'm glad you're ok Robyn"

With a nod she left the room, Joel following happily after a goodnight hug. Greg frowned after her but slid to the edge of the chair to make the most of his last few moments. He very carefully danced his lips over hers, making sure not to move the bed as he looked deep into her eyes.

"I thought I lost you" He whispered as his skin brushed against hers and her breath shadowed across the tiny hairs on the back of his neck.

"No such Luck" Her tired voice teased, even in this state she was still trying to be witty.

"I was so scared Robyn, I don't think I really realised how much you meant to me... you and Joel" Greg confessed, staring at his hand as he stroked her arm.

She didn't answer, her eyes closing again as exhaustion took over. She simply squeezed his hand a little, her lips tugging into a small half-smile.

"do you remember what I told you before? about Sara?" He asked, deciding it was best to bring up the subject while it was still fresh in his mind. With an immense amount of effort she managed to shake her head, frowning again as she stared at him.

"Oh..." Greg stated, nerves twisting the knot in his throat even tighter "Well the reason I said she saved you is... she's well...turns out you're the person she was looking for. She's your sister... your biological sister at least"

Greg felt the atmosphere in the room change immediately. The curiosity in her eyes was replaced by the million questions he knew she couldn't ask.

"Visiting hours are over sir" a small round nurse informed him with a polite smile.

She hovered in the doorway rather than lending them the privacy of goodbyes. Greg stood, leaning over her to press another kiss on her lips. As he stood to leave, her hand tightened on his and she pulled him closer.

"I don't want you to go..." she muttered, her words a breathless whisper.

"I... I need to" He explained sadly.

"I didn't want to know Greg... I didn't want to know about her" She said, with more clarity and certainty than he expected "I don't want to know...you can tell her that. Tell her I had a family... tell her I don't need her"

Greg was stunned into silence for a few long seconds. He had expected Robyn to accept Sara with open arms. They were different after all, where Sara saw darkness Robyn saw light. In this situation he wholly expected Robyn to be the easiest person to predict and here she was retreating from the revelation like Sara had.

"Robyn... she saved your life" Greg said, the undertones of his words making it clear he needed her to rethink her opinion.

"I don't want a sister Greg" She stated with certainty in her voice.

"Sir, you really have to go" The nurse piped up, the smile gone from her face as he approached her. at the doorway he turned back to Robyn, his eyes holding her gaze.

"I'll be round in the morning" He said sadly and turned to leave.

He genuinely didn't understand why they were so against finding each other. He would have given anything to have a sibling when he was growing up. Even now he knew that should a long lost brother or sister turn up on his doorstep he would embrace the opportunity, he knew for a fact he wouldn't turn them away.

Outside Sara and Joel lay back on the bonnet of her car as she pointed out stars. He could hear her explaining how the big dipper got its name as Joel absorbed every single word. He had suspected Sara held a long hidden maternal instinct. She claimed to be anything but but he had seen her interviewing children and finding truths on their lips they didn't even know were there.

"Thanks for waiting" He smiled slightly, exhaustion beginning to take hold of his body "better get this guy home"

He hoisted Joel from the bonnet and strapped him into the seat with a smile as Sara and Grissom bid their farewells. She had to drive them to Robyn's house since he left his car behind. By the time she pulled into Robyn's tiny driveway Joel had fallen asleep.

Greg gently cradled the boy in his arms, explaining to Sara where to get Robyn's spare key as he approached the door. She swung open the door and Greg carefully placed Joel in his bed, not bothering with pyjama's tonight. He tucked the quilt around his body and placed a kiss to his forehead before quietly closing his bedroom door.

Sara was slowly pacing the floor, scanning the multitude of photographs that dotted the walls and surfaces. Greg watched her for a few long moments, watched the curiosity and sadness filling her eyes and the way her fingers lightly brushed some of the frames. She stopped at one of the images, picking it up and studying it carefully as Greg approached her.

"Is this her parents?" She asked, smiling at the family portrait before her.

Robyn must have been around 8 years old, a huge labrador sitting by her side and a man and woman behind her with their arms around each other.

"Yeah, Joseph and Alice... They seemed to be good people" He said, taking up the space beside her.

"Thats good" Sara said, realising how stilted it sounded as it filled the air "I'm glad she had them... I'm glad she grew up properly"

Greg shrugged, taking the photo from her hands and placing it back in the very spot she had removed it from. He opened the drawer beneath it, fishing out another image and handing it to her without a word. In this image Robyn was a lot older, possibly closer to her early 20's. A man held her hand, his eyes vacant and his mouth twisted. He looked painfully thin, his bones sticking out at odd angles.

"That's her dad... He had Alzheimer's.. couldn't even remember who she was for the last 2 years of his life. Eventually a stroke killed him...she was in the room." He stated sadly, hoping he was getting his point across "We all have a story Sara, we all have something that made us who we are, that makes us cry or hide from our own shadows...we all do"

Sara simply nodded, she had already reached the decision that she was going to tell Robyn everything she wanted to hear.

What she didn't realise was that Robyn didn't want to hear any of it.


	25. Chapter 25

The morning came all too soon, bursting into her bedroom with beaming sunlight and bIrdsong. The space beside her was empty of life and it took her a few moments to decide whether Grissom had gone already or not. His whistling drifted up from the kitchen and the glorious smell of homemade pancakes tickled her nose. With a smile she crawled out of bed and shrugged her robe over her shoulders.

She loved waking up to her husband's legendary breakfasts. It was one of the many things she missed most when he was gone.

"Ahh just in time my dear" He smiled when he spied her in the doorway "Sit"

Dutifully, she slid into the chair with a smile cradling the mug of coffee he placed between her hands. With a deep breath she absorbed the thick comforting scent before bringing the mug to her lips and closing her eyes as the hot liquid awakened every cell in her body.

Less than a minute passed before he slid a plateful of warm pancakes onto the table before her and smothered them in maple syrup.

"Just how you like it" He smirked, taking the space in front of her and tucking into his own breakfast.

"Thank you" She smiled, observing him as though she was trying to memorize every move he made. "What's your plans for today?"

He eyed her somewhat suspiciously over the rim of his glasses before placing his fork down and raising his coffee.

"I have a meeting with Derek Simpson over at UNLV this morning" He explained, carefully gauging her reaction "But I'm free all afternoon if you wanted to do something together?"

Sara nodded with a small smile. He was making preparations to leave again and it filled her with a sadness she couldn't explain. When he was gone she didn't find herself pining for him every day it felt more like a part of her was missing, a part she only got back when he was by her side or she knew she would be coming home to his gentle embrace and his soothing heartbeat.

"I think I'll head over to the hospital with Greg, I should probably think about going back to work soon too... they'll be short-handed with Greg out of action"

She knew they would cope if they needed to. The Graveyard shift had worked on a skeleton crew before and managed ok but she needed something to keep her mind occupied and the truth was she missed being part of that team. She missed the race against time and the fight for justice, she missed the satisfaction of knowing that even though every single muscle in her body felt like it was about to snap, even though the pounding behind her eyes only got stronger and coffee could only awaken her so much that at the end of a long shift she could go home knowing she had done a good job and she had given someone peace.

"Don't rush into anything, go back when you're ready" Grissom muttered, unfolding the newspaper in front of him.

"What have you done with my husband?" Sara teased with a smirk.

Grissom responded with a quirk of his eyebrow, turning his attention back to his newspaper. Sara cast her eyes over the bold headlines distractedly before turning her eyes to him again.

"I think you're right though... Greg's probably going to need my help" She mused, raising her coffee to her lips again. "I'm not sure he's cut out to be a single dad"

"He might surprise you Sara, I think Greg will be a great father" Grissom stated matter of factly.

Sara nodded her agreement, she knew that Greg would make a wonderful father. He was more maternal than she was at times and had managed to keep hold of some of the child-like sense of fun she loved him for even after the trauma's he had been through but he wasn't known for his organisation skills and that was an important part of being a parent.

"I better get dressed" She sighed, excusing herself from the table with a gentle kiss.

He was gone by the time she returned, only a note pinned to the fridge to remind her he had ever been here.

_"I'll be back around 4, may I take you to dinner? G x"_

Little things like that always made her smile; The little notes he left for her when she least expected it or the single chocolate he would leave on the pillow when she wasn't looking. She would find notes hidden in the most unlikely places for days after he left, inside her kit, on her shampoo bottle, behind her favourite moisturizer or in the refrigerator. Whoever said Gil Grissom was not a romantic was sorely mistaken, of course he didn't make a habit of declaring his romantic side in public.

She folded the note into her pocket and made her way to Robyn's house. It wasn't too far away, a few blocks at the most but she hit rush hour traffic and found herself sitting around listening to trash talk on the radio with hundreds of other motorists. The lull gave her time to think about how she was going to approach her relationship with Robyn.

Robyn had a strong relationship with her late parents. She had been raised in a loving home and she cherished every moment she had with her parents. It wouldn't be easy for her to accept where she really came from, when she heard about the family she really belonged to it was bound to upset her. Sara knew, however, that if she was to forge any kind of a lasting relationship with Robyn she needed to show her hand in its entirety. There was no use holding back her honesty in this situation and while it terrified her it felt strangely freeing to know that someone else was going to be privy to her secrets. She wasn't alone anymore.

She swung her car into the driveway beside Greg's and scanned the windows for signs of life. Robyn lived in a small suburban community, curtains twitched the second her car rolled into the street and the neighbours made no secret of casting their suspicious eyes over her as she stepped out of the vehicle and looked around.

Robyn had mail, the little flag on her novelty mail box was a tell tale sign and as Sara casually strode over towards it one of Robyn's neighbours came out to greet her suspiciously.

"You're a friend of Robyn's?" He asked, retrieving his own mail but keeping his eyes firmly fixed on her.

"yes I am" Sara confirmed, taking the bundle of letters from the box.

"I didn't see her come home last night" He continued, obviously fishing for answers to questions he had no business asking.

"No, you wouldn't have" Sara smirked, turning to make her way back up the driveway.

"Is she ok?" The man called after her, still standing on the side of the road in his slippers.

"She will be" She reluctantly replied as she pressed the doorbell and waited on Greg's response.

There was no answer and frowning Sara peered in the closest window. She could see the kitchen, plates and pots everywhere, an open box of cereal laying on its side with a rainbow of cereal pouring over the floor, she could hear Greg's voice from somewhere deep inside the house so instead of waiting she tried the door again and found it unlocked.

"Greg?" She called cautiously as she stepped across the dark wood floors of the living room. Toys were strewn over the floor and she followed the sound of Greg's over enthusiastic voice to what was clearly a bathroom.

She swung the door open quietly taking in the scene in front of her. She could barely see Joel under the mountain of bubbles in the tub, water slowly snaked across the floor, following the lines of the white tiles. Greg was kneeling on the floor, a mound of bubbles on his head, his trousers saturated and his sleeves rolled up as he moved a toy shark towards Joel complete with sound effects.

Everytime Greg put the shark in the water Joel let out an animated screech and scurried to the far end of the tub making water lap over the edge and splash onto the floor. Sara couldn't help but smile at the image as she leaned back against the door and crossed her arms over her body.

"you know, if you didn't fill it so much the water might have actually stayed inside the tub Greg" She teased, laughing at his shocked expression and hasty attempt to remove the bubbles from his head.

"Where's the fun in that?" He responded with a smile as Joel replaced his 'hat'

"I hope you have a change of clothes here Greg, you can't go to the hospital like that"

Greg stood up, water dripping from his lower legs, sleeves and head. He shrugged, retrieving a huge white towel from the rack on the wall and holding it out for Joel to launch himself into it. He wrapped the boy up tight and followed behind him as he padded into his bedroom quietly. Sara followed shortly after pulling the drain in the bathroom and leaned against the door frame.

"Her neighbours are a quiet bunch, huh?" She smirked.

Greg wrestled Joel into his clothes, fighting desperately with the tiny buttons.

"you met Mr Taunsney already? He's...he's hard work" Greg shrugged with a smile. "wait till you meet Mrs Parish!"

"Those are odd socks Greg" She commented, Joel's feet clad in completely different coloured socks.

"Hey, I can't do everything right! Sock's are evil" Greg protested before turning to Joel "You want to go colour with Sara while I shower?"

"Can she colour?" He asked suspiciously.

"I'm sure you can teach her!" Greg smiled, steering Joel in Sara's direction and mouthing a 'thank you' in her direction.

Joel climbed up onto a chair pulling the huge collection of colouring pencils closer to him and opening a book. Sara watched as he furiously began filling the white spaces on a dinosaur image before she slowly made her way towards him and took the chair to his side.

"Do you know what kind of dinosaur that is?" Sara smirked, nodding her head towards the image.

Joel frowned across at her before picking up a purple pencil and concentrating on the feet.

"He's a Riceratops" He said with certainty.

"Triceratops" She corrected subtly "that's right"

"He eats plants" Joel explained, pointing to the leafy plant life beside the image.

"I see" Sara smiled, taking a pencil of her own and colouring a flower "We have a lot in common"

Joel frowned in her direction "You don't have horns!"

Sara laughed at his observation realising that perhaps subtlety was lost on a four year old.

"No, but I eat plants" She explained "Just like dinosaurs some people don't eat meat either"

Joel seemed to ponder this for a long time, chewing on the end of his pencil.

"But why don't you eat meat?" He asked curiously.

Sara was sudden;y stunned into silence. She couldn't very well tell him that her decision to become vegetarian had come on the end of an all night pig watching session with her now husband many years ago. She couldn't tell him about the morals and ethics behind her decision or how the thought of putting a burger in her mouth turned her stomach. It wasn't her place and she doubted Robyn would appreciate coming out of hospital to a vegetarian son.

"I just don't like it" She muttered, hoping that was explanation enough "Aren't there foods that you don't like?"

"Broccoli" He declared wrinkling up his nose "Mom makes me eat it anyway"

"Yeah well my mom used to make me eat meat too" She smiled "But broccoli's not so bad..."

She smiled as h wrinkled his nose again and shook his head, turning back to his colouring as Greg sauntered through the room with fresh, dry clothes and a bright smile.

"What are you guys talking about?" He asked, searching for his shoes under the sofa.

"Joel tells me he doesn't like broccoli" She explained with a smile.

"Can't say I blame you kid" Greg winked, waving Joel's shoes in his direction and smiling as he jumped down from his chair and bounded towards him.

"Are we going to see Mommy?" He questioned.

"I'm going to see Mommy, you need to go to school" Greg smiled, helping him into his jacket.

"But I want to see my Mom!" Joel huffed, sticking out his bottom lip.

Sara cleared the table of pencils and books, watching the stand-off in the corner with some amusement.

"I promise you can see your mom after school" Greg bargained.

"But I have a tummy ache" Joel grumbled, rubbing his hands over his stomach.

"You are a faker!" Greg smiled, tickling him and pulling a laugh from his lips "I'll pick you up early and take you for a burger ok?"

Joel nodded and turned his attention back to Sara as though remembering she was still there.

"You can't have a burger?" He asked her. Sara shook her head with a small smile.

"We can buy her a veggie burger though, if you want?" Greg offered, taking Joel's hand and grabbing his backpack from the counter. Joel nodded enthusiastically and Sara found herself strangely touched by the fact that Joel wanted to spend time with her. Greg met her eye, his expression conveying his own pleasure at the interaction they had established.

The three of them filed into Sara's car, Greg strapping Joel into his seat before taking the passenger seat. He directed Sara to Joel's school and within a short time they pulled up outside the small building. Sara waited in the car, watching as the staff descended on Greg with concern in their eyes. He left them with Joel after a multitude of hugs and handshakes and Sara smiled at the thought of his over inflated ego as he returned to the vehicle.

"He's a good kid" Sara stated as they drove away from the building and back onto the highway.

"He is" Greg agreed, picking his nails nervously.

Sara glanced in his direction as an awkward silence settled between them. She realised he had something to say, Greg was never like this with her. They always had free flowing conversation about anything and everything and even if they sat in silence it was never thick with tension and uncomfortable like it was now.

"What's wrong?" She eventually asked, his behaviour making her more nervous than she would admit.

"Nothing" He muttered, meeting her unconvinced eye and arched eyebrow "It's just... Robyn said something yesterday and I'm a little worried about what she meant"

"Well... what did she say?" Sara pressed, certain it would be something miniscule he was blowing out of proportion.

"It's nothing... forget I said anything" Greg turned his eyes to the window, staring at the cars flashing by and the buildings they passed and Sara was suddenly overcome by a feeling of foreboding.

"Greg... it's not nothing. Come on, you know you can tell me anything" She soothed.

His expression softened towards her as they pulled into a free space at the hospital. Sara killed the engine and turned to look at him properly awaiting his revelation.

"She... she didn't really take your news like I expected" He stumbled, unsure how to express Robyn's contempt.

"You told her... about me?" Sara gulped, all her preparations had involved Robyn as a clean slate without prior knowledge. The thought that she knew already and didn't take it well made a knot form in her stomach as they stepped towards the building together. Greg swung his arm around her shoulders, forcing her forwards before she had the chance to think too much. Sara felt an overwhelming sense of fear as the elevator took them towards the ward.

"It's fine... she was probably just high on pain meds right? Lets go, maybe she'll have changed her mind"

Sara nodded but realised that she had spent so much time rejecting the thought of a sister it had never occurred to her that her sister might actually reject her just as she was warming to the thought of letting her in.

"Greg..." Sara breathed, stopping dead in the middle of the corridor as Robyn's room came into sight. "I can't do this..."

Greg frowned slightly, steering her to the side "Sara, I'm sure it will be fine. She went through a lot yesterday... why don't I speak to her first?"

"I can't..." She muttered again, shaking her head furiously "I can't"

Sara turned and ran into the closing elevator, escaping the situation she feared most. She couldn't look into the eyes of another family member and see nothing but resentment. It would just be too much for her to deal with right now and was the exact reason she had chosen not to find her sister in the first place.

Sara was one familial argument away from succumbing to the darkness again and with Grissom's departure on the horizon she needed to hold herself together more than ever.


	26. Chapter 26

Sara stood in the elevator feeling like she had as a child running away from the horror's that was her home. Her breath trembled in her chest and as much as she willed herself not to let it get to her she could feel the sting of tears in her eyes.

She wandered out on the bottom floor, casting her eyes slowly around the people congregated there when an out of breath Greg came crashing through the doors leading to the stairwell.

"Sara!" He called in a wheeze, stumbling across the floor towards her and gaining the disapproving glare of many of the other people.

Sara rolled her eyes and marched out into the bright sunshine of the day. It was autumn, the leaves beginning to crisp and change colour. She loved autumn, she loved the rejuvenation and transformation it offered. She loved the crisp clean air and the opportunity to wrap up warm and spend her evenings curled up in front of the fire.

She wrapped her coat tighter around her body and continued stomping across the road towards a small garden of remembrance. She could hear Greg's footsteps behind her, closing the space between them as she sunk onto a small wooden bench.

"Sara, what's going on? Talk to me... I'm not a mind reader!" He demanded, still out of breath from his sprint down the stairs.

Sara regarded her friend standing in front of her. He was without a doubt the one person, besides her husband, she cared about most in the world and she knew she could tell him anything. She never understood why it was so difficult for her to tell him about this, she never understood why it was so difficult to find the words.

Greg sunk into the space beside her, taking her hand in his and looking at her with wide sympathetic eyes. She knew he wouldn't judge her based on her past, he was probably the least judgemental person she knew and now it appeared he was as mixed up in her mess of a family almost as much as she was. There was no hiding the fact that he cared deeply for Robyn and for Joel. If she was going to be honest with Robyn it was probably best she was honest with Greg first.

"There's something I should tell you... I don't know why I never told you before to be honest. I don't like to think about it too often but with all this...I've had to" She explained sadly.

Sara took a deep trembling breath and avoided Greg's concerned gaze. His grip on her hand tightened and the wind whistling through the autumnal trees seemed to still in anticipation. Everything was waiting for her to speak but the words seemed to choke in her throat.

"You can tell me anything..." He whispered.

"I know...I...The reason Robyn was adopted is... my father was abusive. Towards my mother, towards me... he had a volatile temper. I guess my mother wanted to save at least one of us..."

Greg nodded, his sombre expression not hiding the fact that he suspected that was the case all along. Sara made no secret of her contempt for domestic violence cases, it wasn't hard to figure out why.

"My mother suffered from schizophrenia, among other illnesses. One day she just snapped...she killed him. She took a knife from the kitchen and she stopped it all, just like that...I spent the next 8 years in the system being passed from foster home to foster home until I got out and went to college. It was the best thing I could have done. I guess you know the rest..."

Greg drew breath but didn't falter in his unwavering support. He paused, as though absorbing al the information she had just given him.

"You could have told me you know... " He eventually muttered.

"I know. I should have but I ... I don't want people judging me based on my past or waiting for me to break down every time there's a domestic abuse case. The only other person I've told is Grissom... and now I have to tell Robyn... who I barely know"

Greg nodded, his eyes turning to the huge grey hospital building looming before them.

"That's why you ran out?" He said, more a statement than a question "You don't have to be ashamed of this... it's not your fault. She'll understand that"

Sara turned her eyes to the ground, suddenly incredibly interested in the cracked and broken concrete below their feet. Greg was right, Robyn wouldn't judge her based on her parents mistakes. It would be ridiculous to think she would, the fear Sara had was that when Robyn found out the truth she would have as much resentment as Michael or maybe as much shame as she did.

"She already decided she didn't want to know didn't she?" Sara said, confirming her suspicions to the air around them.

Greg shifted uncomfortably in his seat before turning his attention back to her. He didn't want to lie to her, but neither did he think she could handle the truth right now.

"She didn't know what she was saying... we'll go see her, it'll be fine" He soothed.

But Sara was already shaking her head in protest.

He tried to grasp at protests in his brain, tried to think of a definitive reason he could give to her for following him to Robyn's room but he realised there were none. There was nothing he could say to her that would make her shift her resolve.

"OK..." He muttered "how about we go get a coffee?"

"No Greg, you need to go see her. It's late, she'll be wondering where you are" Sara stated meeting his eye and showing all the defiance in her soul "I'll go get a coffee, you can come find me when you're ready to go home"

"Sara..." Greg whispered but he knew there was no point. When Sara dug her heels in there was no reasoning with her and she was most certainly determined she wasn't visiting that little room. He let out an exasperated sigh. "Okay... but I won't be long"

He hugged her before wandering back into the hospital, his mind swimming with information. He glanced back as he reached the doors, watching her for a moment as she sat there lost in her thoughts. He found himself praying that what Robyn said yesterday was a slip of the tongue or a result of too much medication.

This had to be resolved soon or a stand-off of epic proportions was bound to ensue. Both women were stubborn to a fault.

The nurses nodded politely as he made his way to her room. Sunlight streamed in through the huge windows making the whiteness of the room almost glow as he stepped inside. She was seated in her bed, the metal brace had been removed but the tubes and wires remained connected to her arm.

"I think I'm liking the robot look" He teased as he strolled into the room.

She still looked incredibly tired, the bruising on her face had joined up with the bruising on the back of her head covering half of her face in an angry looking purple mask.

"Maybe I'll keep it for a while... along with the turban" She smiled, gasping a little as she strained her body to return his kiss. An untouched tray of food lay on her table, a wheelchair by her side.

"You've been up?" He questioned, noting the hospital issue slippers by the side of the bed. "I brought you some things from home"

"I had another CT scan this morning then they stuck some needles into me, it was great fun" She deadpanned with an eye roll.

"Sounds like it. Why were they sticking needles in you?" He frowned, pulling her chart from the pocket at the end of her bed. She didn't answer, instead choosing to let him read for himself. She watched him carefully, he could feel her eyes burning into him as he tried to control his facial expression when he read exactly what was going on with her.

"Localised Paralysis" He stated as he tried to absorb what that meant.

Robyn shrugged "I won't be dancing anytime soon" She stated sadly.

"I hear wheelchair gymnastics are the next big thing" He teased, trying to make light of a bad situation. He knew Robyn well enough to know her imagination would already have run wild as it thought about all the possibilities for her future should the paralysis remain.

"They say it could be temporary, I still have some spinal trauma" She shrugged, meeting his eye with a soft expression and a small smile.

"Well that's good right? you'll be fighting fit in no time" He said, not quite believing the words.

"Could have been worse I guess" Robyn smirked "How's Joe?"

Greg replaced the chart and took the seat beside her bed, moving the food on the tray around with a fork and a look of disgust.

"He's good, Sara and I took him to school this morning although he did try to fake a tummy ache to come here" He smiled, grimacing as the gravy moved across the plate like jello.

"Sara's been helping you out?" Robyn questioned, her eyes brimming with conflict.

Greg met her eye almost challenging her to say something. In a strange way he wanted her to bring it up or at least open the gates and let him know what was really going on in her head with regards to the whole sister issue but she was clearly not going to respond to his silent goading.

"She's a great friend... as you know" He said pointedly.

Robyn settled back a little in her pillow's and fixed her eyes on the television although he could tell she wasn't watching it. He reached out and took her hand, the tension evident in her body as she turned her eyes back to his. She took a deep breath, shifting uncomfortably.

"Can you imagine if someone told you that your parents weren't really yours? That you belonged somewhere else?" She asked.

"No... I don't think I can" He answered honestly.

"Yeah well... neither could I. When my dad got sick he insisted he didn't know me, that his wife couldn't have children... he insisted I couldn't be his daughter. But I had a wonderful family, I loved them with all my heart and the only thing that kept me strong back then was knowing that they were my family. He was my only family, the one who rocked me to sleep and held my hand and taught me to tie my laces and brought me to school. I don't want to change those memories Greg... I don't want to know that it wasn't real"

Greg squeezed her hand gently realizing that her reluctance to accept Sara as her family went a lot deeper than he thought.

"But it was real Robyn...It was just as real as any other family. Look at us, does Joel mean any less to me because he's not my biological child? No. Does it mean that if we have children of our own I will act different towards him? No, it doesn't. Families come in lots of different ways"

Tears brimmed in Robyn's eyes and Greg reached out to gently brush them away. He genuinely wished she didn't need to go through this. He was always the fixer, he made things better, he took people's pain away. It was incredibly difficult watching the two people he loved most in the world tear themselves apart over something he had uncovered.

"I don't know...I just don't know" She muttered, shaking her head and wincing as pain cast over her.

"Ok... so imagine growing up in foster care, having lost the only family you knew. Imagine it was an abusive childhood, haunted by mental illness... Imagine finding out years later that you have another chance at having a family ... and then imagine someone taking that chance away because they were scared" Greg argued.

He was desperately trying to make her see that Sara's motives weren't to taint the memories she already had of her family, rather it was the hope to create new cherished memories.

"How do you suddenly become someone's sister? Are you really just supposed to be best friends just because you share some DNA?" She sighed "I'm sorry she had a bad time, I really am but... I can't fix that. I can't turn up and just be her family overnight and I can't let go of the family I did have to do that"

"Robyn... this is ridiculous. Just give her a chance, you were friends before all this. Why should that change just because you're related"

"You don't understand..." She muttered, pulling her hand from his to rest it on her lap.

"No, I don't you're right... Can't you just talk to her? Try to understand what she's going through. She just lost her mother" Greg protested, pressing his eyes tight together.

"Our mother..." She murmured, in a state of shock "She could have got in touch all this time, she could have told me everything... Why didn't she? What was she hiding?"

"You really need to ask Sara these things Robyn. She's downstairs waiting for me, I'll get her to come up.." He stood from his chair and began to make his way to the door when she stopped him.

"No. I don't want to speak to her. I don't want to know"

"Robyn you're going to have to face up to this eventually" He reasoned.

Sara was a big part of his life, someone he cherished more than most of the people he knew. She wasn't going to go away, this wasn't something they could simply ignore.

"Do I? There's no reason for me to see her again" She declared defiantly.

That familiar fire burning in her eyes he had seen before in his best friend. She had made her decision and he had no idea if he would be able to change her mind.

"Robyn... please. You can't make me choose" He begged, realising what she was implying.

"You don't have to choose Greg" She stated through gritted teeth "I'll choose for you"

Greg frowned, taking a few steps towards her as tears began to trickle down her face. She raised her hand, stopping him in his tracks.

"Robyn... please" He stumbled.

"Just go Greg, I'll call Mrs Parish to collect Joel. You were always going to choose her anyway"


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Thank you all for the reviews. I think this is the penultimate chapter... I will try to tie up the loose ends in the next one and get that shiny complete! :) Have a nice weekend! Charli xx**

Greg loitered in the doorway, his eyes begging her to reconsider but she avoided his gaze. Sobs shook her body as her hands moved to cover her face and he realised that the best thing he could do was to step away right now.

She had gone through an incredibly traumatic experience. As much as he wanted to tell her she was being irrational and impetuous he knew that the words would serve no purpose in that moment, they would be washed away with her tears as she struggled to absorb the huge amount of information being forced upon her.

She was pushing him away and there was nothing he could do about it.

He took the elevator to the first floor, following the flow of people towards the canteen. Plastic tables and chairs stretched out in front of him, a few fake plants were dotted around and a long stainless steel serving bar stretched the length of one wall as faceless people slid their trays along it collecting their food.

Sara was sat by the window, 3 empty coffee mugs sat in front of her lonely and discarded as she stared out the window and a bag of chips lay opened but untouched in the centre of the table. Her eyes were fixed on a Willow tree draping its leaves onto the ground.

Greg cleared his throat nervously as he took the chair across from her.

"You're back already?" She asked, checking her watch immediately.

Greg shrugged in response, turning his own eyes to the scene outside. The peace and tranquility of nature.

"What's going on?" She questioned, her brow furrowing in confusion.

"I... I think she broke up with me..." He muttered, still slightly shocked about the whole thing.

Sara frowned immediately, scanning his face for signs that he was pulling her leg but everything about his told her he was speaking the truth. The sadness that dulled his eyes, the lethargy that had settled into his limbs, the sense that he had already given up.

"What do you mean?" She asked, somehow hoping there was a way to misconstrue what he had just said but knowing deep down that his words had been crystal clear.

"Exactly what I said" He sighed, meeting her eye and sending her a feeble little shrug "She told me to get out..."

"Maybe you heard her wrong..." She rationalised but Greg shook his head, snatching a chip from her packet and crunching on it distractedly.

"I don't think so...she's really messed up about all this" He remarked flippantly, waving his hand towards her.

"That's what this is about?! because of me?" Sara cried, her voice loud and incensed.

"It doesn't matter" Greg soother, attempting to calm her trademark quick temper.

She had been almost placid in recent years, the things that used to make her see red seeming to slide off her shoulders like nothing but now he saw that familiar fire burning in her eyes as her defensive nature took control.

"Yes it does Greg" Sara insisted, closing her hand over his and catching his eye.

"I... I'll be fine" He muttered, quickly glancing around the dining hall "you want to get some food?"

"I'm good" She shook her head, watching as he unwound himself from the table and turned towards the food "Greg...?"

His eyes caught hers again, the sadness reflected in them tugged at her heart-strings. He really did care deeply for Robyn and she would readily admit they made a sweet couple. She had watched him caring for Joel with a sense of deep pride at the man he had become.

"Yeah?" He responded.

"Are you ok?" She asked.

She understood it was a bit of a redundant question. The aftermath of a break up was never easy, for anyone involved. Least of all the one reluctant to let go.

"I dunno... I guess I will be" He shrugged, leaving the table and taking a tray in his hands.

Sara watched him moving through the queue, with every move he took she felt herself getting more and more angry. Robyn was putting him through this unnecessarily, she was completely unjustified in pushing him away and the more she thought about it the more she realised she had to do something about it. She pushed her chair away from the table, keeping her eyes fixed on Greg as he chatted to the servers and when she was certain he wasn't looking she marched her way to Robyn's room like a woman on a mission.

She looked up as soon as Sara stepped through the door looking like she had the weight of the entire world on her shoulders, but Sara had no time for sympathy.

"Sara..." She whispered, her eyes suddenly wide and almost afraid.

"What the hell are you thinking doing that Greg?" She attacked, not holding back the anger burning on her tongue "don't you know a good thing when you see it?!"

"It's just better this way" She mumbled, shaking her head and refusing to catch Sara's eye.

"Look, I don't expect us to be best friends. If you never want to see me again then that's fine but Greg doesn't deserve this"

"you don't understand..." Robyn attempted to protest but Sara was in full ranting mode, pacing the room and taking absolutely no notice of her.

"You know what? I don't understand.. you are completely out-of-order! Don't you realise how lucky you are?!"

"Lucky?" Scoffed Robyn, making Sara stop dead in her tracks and turn to face her.

"Yes, Lucky!" Sara found herself yelling as she lost all self-control and just let rip "You got out! You got the nice family, the big house, the normal childhood... you never had to find ways to avoid going home, you never had to hide bruises, you never had to lie to the police. I bet you wouldn't even know what it was like to have to learn to trust someone enough to have a relationship...you've been married, you've had a child... you have Greg! So, yes... I think you're pretty goddamn lucky!"

A silence settled between them as Sara slowly felt the adrenaline leaving her body. Robyn looked so shocked that she actually began to feel sorry for her. Guilt flooded her system as Robyn's body shuddered with the effort to hold back her tears and she found herself turning slowly on her heel to face her.

"He won't want me now anyway... it's just better like this" She sobbed quietly.

"what are you talking about?" Sara questioned.

A frown furrowed on her brow as she hastily took a few steps towards the bed. Robyn had that same self-deprecating aura around her she recognised in herself and she knew all too well that when she was finding herself drowning under her burdens the very first thing she did was to push everyone away. Not to hurt them but to protect them.

"Look at me! Look what I've done to myself" She cried "I might never walk again, I might never be able to carry his child, I might ruin his life too..."

Sara fixed her eyes on Robyn as she stepped across the room and took the chair by the bed. She found this new side of Robyn somehow endearing. It was strangely comforting to find they shared the same kind of behaviours. Sara knew better than anyone what it felt like to be in that place and the hostility she had felt towards her vanished in that moment.

"Robyn... none of that matters to him. He loves you" Sara declared with certainty.

"and I love him too... which is why I told him to go"

Robyn met her eye, begging her to understand but before she could respond the movement of Greg in the doorway distracted their attention. It was clear he had been listening for a while, he marched across the room towards them both, his eyes fixed on Robyn's.

"Why didn't you tell me all this?" He demanded.

Sara shifted uncomfortably in her seat, unsure what the etiquette was in this situation. She wasn't entirely sure she should still be there at all as Robyn's tears broke free and Greg's arms wrapped around her. She watched as she crumbled in his arms and he held her close.

"I'm scared Greg" She confessed, her face burrowing into his shoulder "I'm scared of what all this means..."

Greg caught Sara's eye as though asking her for the right words. She widened her eyes and shrugged slightly in response. This wasn't her battle, these confessions weren't meant for her ears.

"That's ok... its ok" Greg whispered "but pushing everyone away isn't going to help"

Sara sighed, pushing herself up from the chair and meeting Greg's eye. She had done what she intended to do and felt she had outstayed her welcome.

"I'm... gonna go" She declared in a long exhale of breath.

"No...you're going to stay" Greg instructed, holding his hand up to her and gesturing for her to sit down. The defiant Sara Sidle she had deep within wanted to protest but she realised she had already spent a lot of her energy on arguing today. It really wasn't worth it. "we are fixing this right now"

"Greg... you guys clearly have things you need to discuss" Sara argued as Robyn lay back against the pillows. Her eyes cast over the younger woman with renewed understanding but that didn't mean that Robyn would be willing to let her in.

"hey... there are no secrets with family, right?" He smiled, looking between them both and hoping that the tension between them had finally dissipated.

Sara found herself simply drawing breath and holding Robyn's loaded eye contact. She was seeking permission to stay, although it was too subtle an exchange for Greg to even suspect anything was happening the tiny nod that Robyn allowed her told her everything she needed to know.

In the hour that passed the tense atmosphere that seemed to cloak them had dispelled. Conversation seemed to naturally turn to Greg's many mishap's in and around the crime lab and laughter filled the room as a small knock broke everyone's conversation.

Grissom stood in the doorway looking awkward and confused although infinitely as relieved as Greg was to have the women in the same room without tearing each other's eyes out.

"Sorry to interrupt..." He muttered.

Greg nodded him further into the room and he stepped cautiously across the white tiled floor towards the congregation around the bed.

"How are you feeling?" He asked Robyn with a nod.

She shifted in bed as Greg attempted to slide her over so that he could perch beside her before smiling at Grissom and whispering her response.

"much better... now"

Her head rested heavily on Greg's shoulder, her eyes fluttering closed every few seconds as she fought off exhaustion. Grissom caught the eye of his wife, the expression she wore much more relaxed than what he had witnessed over the past few months.

"May I borrow my wife for a few hours?" He smiled, holding her eye contact with his.

"I uhh I need to wait for Greg" She said, remembering that she had drove them there.

"its fine" Greg piped up "just give me your keys and I'll take your car"

Sara smiled, handing him the small bundle of keys as she stood up.

"That's hardly a fair trade..." She grumbled.

She pressed a small kiss to his cheek, her hand reaching out and nervously squeezing Robyn's before she left the room. As they stood in the narrow corridor she glanced inside the tiny window and watched as Greg settled back in the pillows and held Robyn's magazine out in front of him. He wrapped his spare arm around her shoulders and read to her as she settled in his arms.

"So, I managed to buy some more time at home" Grissom began.

Sara frowned "how did you do that?"

"I'm going to be guest lecturing at UNLV for a while" He shrugged as if he were talking about taking out the trash when in reality this bombshell had the power to change the entire dynamic of her life. She was already considering what it would be like to come home from work to find him there every night. She was already imagining how great she would feel if she woke up beside him every morning and went to sleep beside him every night.

"How long is a while?" She asked, cautiously raising one eyebrow in suspicion.

"3 months... to start with" He said, curiously watching her reaction.

"you're serious?" Sara continued, excitement beginning to rush through her blood stream already.

"of course" He nodded.

"you're really staying in Vegas?"

Grissom smiled, a smile that mirrored all the anticipation that she felt. A wide genuine smile that told her that he was looking forward to their time together as much as she was.

"I'm staying in Vegas"

"That's what your meeting was about" Sara stated, somewhat unnecessarily.

She had stopped asking what they were about a long time ago because inevitably it would end with him being sent to ever exotic countries over the globe and she phased out the explanation anyway. Grissom simply nodded.

"Well... Why?" She said.

She realised all of a sudden that she didn't ask him why nearly enough. He had always taught her that they were not in the business of why and maybe that influenced her decision to never press him for answers but the truth was, this wasn't business, this was their lives and she needed to know hos motives.

"what do you mean, why?" He frowned.

"Why now?"

"I guess all of this family talk made me finally realise what's important" He stated almost flippantly.

He had the ability to make the most profound statement sound like nothing as it found its way to his lips but luckily she had the ability to see past it for everything it was worth.

"you are amazing" Sara declared, swinging her arms around his neck and finding his lips with hers.

"May I take you to dinner now _Mrs Grissom_" He asked pointedly.

Sara smiled and nodded with a sultry half-smile "You can take me anywhere you like_ Mr Grissom_"


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: I need to grovel and beg forgiveness for taking so long with this final chapter! It will be no surprise to learn that Fluff is not really my fortay, I struggle immensely with it but I really felt like we needed something nice to end this on and Viola! here we have it. I do so hope I have managed to end it on a reasonably good note and you all enjoy it. I genuinely thought I was going to burst into tears, throw my laptop against the wall and never write again trying to write this lol so here's to my blood, sweat, tears and complete! *Cheers***

**FYI: Warrick's birthday is October 10th which coincidentally is also my Father's birthday and the day I passed my driving test many moons (but not too many moons) ago!**

**I would also like to thank you all for reading this story - for reviewing, challenging and engaging with me - for nominating it for the FanFiction of the Year awards on CSIFO and for voting for it - I don't know the results yet but a nomination is more than enough IMO :) love to you all. One last review and I will love you forever ;-)**

**Love Charli xx**

The bright lights reflected back to her as she stood in front of the small mirror perched above the sink. Her dark hair framed her face, the thick glossy curls shone and bounced whenever she moved and yet she still felt like there was something missing. Grissom appeared behind her in the doorway, catching her eyes with a soft smile as he rested a delicate necklace around her neck. Her fingers lightly traced the Celtic Knot symbol pondering its significance. They symbolised the fact that everything and therefore everyone was interconnected and intertwined.

"You look wonderful" He whispered in her ear, his lips lingering lightly on the curve of her collarbone.

Sara sighed, taking a deep breath and holding his unwavering gaze. It had been almost a year since her mother died and a lot had changed in her life. She could never have predicted the turns her story would take as a result of her mother's last act.

Grissom had accepted a permanent position at UNLV, meaning their time together was not measured by flight times and contractual holidays. He was there when she came home from work and when she woke from sleep. They would cook together, eat together and sleep in each others arms. It had taken some getting used to and for the first few weeks she would admit to almost wishing he was halfway across the world at times. He sure knew how to get under her feet, that was for sure and his thirst for knowledge never stopped. Even now she would find random experiments in the strangest places. Tonight was no different, tonight she had removed some for of experiment from the bathtub in order to have a shower but tonight it didn't seem to bother her as much.

Tonight was a special night.

Every year on Warrick's birthday the team and their families got together for dinner and drinks in his honor. It seemed better than remembering the day he died.

Over the years the team had changed beyond recognition and the family had grown immensely. They had gone from booking a small table in the corner of a restaurant to hiring out an entire section but it was a tradition that was important to them and watching their family evolve was something to cherish.

With a nervous smile she nodded and moved out of the tiny room. Grissom straightened his tie and offered his arm to her. His soft reassuring smile cast a warm glow over her and she returned the smile as the sound of a car in the drive filled her ears. Grissom's warmth engulfed her, his head resting lightly on hers as they locked eyes and the headlights filled the darkened room.

"That's Greg" She stated unnecessarily.

Grissom lowered his lips to hers placing a soft, enchanting kiss there, displaying all the honesty in his embrace. Even after all this time he could still make her feel weak with his kiss, he could still make her heart thud in her chest and her breath quiver.

"Lets go" He nodded, holding her coat out for her to slip into.

Greg was impatient, the sound of the horn disturbing the peace over and over again as Grissom and Sara wandered outside. There was a chill in the air, a light rain falling over the streets. Sara slipped into the back seat beside Robyn and Joel.

"Hey guys" She muttered, adjusting her seatbelt and Joel handed her a paper rose.

"I made this for you" He smiled.

Sara gratefully received the flower, quirking a smile at Robyn across the back seat.

"Thank you Jo-Jo" She said, using the now familiar term of endearment she had learned from Robyn.

She never did totally regain her mobility. A long and heartbreaking few months had passed in hospital, almost constant therapies and determination Sara envied and yet she still relied on a chair a lot of the time. Greg had struggled, with the responsibility of a child and an incredibly emotionally fragile girlfriend but she had been there every step of the way. The 3am phone calls, the last minute pub crawls, the parenting dilemma's and the trips to the hospital.

She had told Robyn everything. Every single heart wrenching detail right down to the moment she had found out about her existence. It had been hard at first, as she suspected it would be, but if anything it had pulled them closer. Most families didn't have to go through half as much drama as they had and they had somehow managed to come through the other end of it as decent people capable of a friendly relationship. Sara figured she could settle for that, sisterly was probably pushing both their expectations at this point.

Greg pulled the car up the long driveway, parking beside Doc Robbins car. Sara helped Joel out and joined the rest of their team on the stairs outside the restaurant while Greg wrestled with Robyn's chair.

"What took you guys so long?" Nick grumbled, already making his way inside.

Greg shook his head at Nick's comment as he helped Robyn out of the car. Sara internally chastised herself for feeling pity for her. It was always painfully obvious how much Robyn's self-esteem had suffered as a result of her accident but Robyn was actually lucky in a lot of ways and she would never want pity from anyone. She nervously straightened the skirt of her dress and looked up at Greg with a tiny nod. Greg pressed a light kiss on her forehead and took off towards the disabled ramp at a run.

"Did you get a licence for that Greg?" Sara teased as they screeched to a halt in front of her.

They were seated in a quiet corner, one massive table laid out for them in preparation. Jazz music filled the air,dim lighting filled the space and two smartly dressed waitresses stood aside waiting for their drinks orders. Grissom ordered the house wines and perused the menu while Sara glanced around at the people surrounding her.

She could remember laying in bed in the middle of the night as a child, wishing for a family. Her entire consciousness had been consumed by this thought that she needed to have a family to consider herself successful and as she had grown up that feeling didn't ever go away.

She had been searching for a family for her entire life but as she looked around at the smiling faces and listened to the animated chatter around her she realises that perhaps she was more blessed than she ever realised.

She may not have a conventional family but she had something so much more precious. She had this family. This dysfunctional, crazy, unlikely arrangement of characters that sat around this very table were her family and she wouldn't change a single one of them for the world.

"Sorry I'm late" The familiar voice of Catherine broke through her far too sentimental thoughts as she flustered and took the seat directly across from her with a wink. "You know how unpredictable the traffic is in this town"

"Its great to see you Cath!" Nick exclaimed, as though surprised she had showed. Sara wasn't surprised, she knew Catherine cherished this family as much as she did and Warrick, especially, held a special place in her heart.

"Can't get rid of me that easily Nicky" Catherine winked, raising her glass to her lips.

"Of course not" Grissom remarked "We're a family"

It was as though he was reading her thoughts as he smiled at her from the other end of the table. She wondered how often the rest of the team took time to really look at what a wonderful unit they had created. They had been through some terrible hardships but they had also been through many, many happy times too and never faltered in their love and loyalty for each other.

"I'd like to propose a toast" Grissom declared, tapping his glass and clearing his throat.

A hush descended over them and all eyes turned to Grissom. She suddenly felt incredibly proud of him, she often had moments where she would step back and count all her blessings. Grissom was one of those blessings, he had come into her life and taught her so much more than he ever knew. He taught her about work, about life and most importantly, about love. Almost everything she knew about love she had learned from him, and he was a great teacher.

"To Family" He smiled, raising his glass and waiting for everyone to join in as they duly did. He met her eye as he sunk back into his chair, his expression one of love and happiness.

Their food arrived and the meal passed with companionable conversation and laughter. Soon Catherine had wrestled Jim onto the dance floor to join Doc Robbins and Judy, Hodges was deep in conversation with Grissom. Sara excused herself from the table but was wrestled by Joel on her way to the bathroom, demanding to dance.

She could see Robyn out of the corner of her eye, shifting uncomfortably in her chair and nodded subtly to Greg. It took him a while to realise what she was implying but soon reached out his hands to Robyn

"Lets dance" He offered, a smile working on his lips.

Robyn cast her eyes across the people filling the dance floor and immediately shook her head.

"I can't" She whispered.

Greg enclosed his hands around hers and pulled her upright. Her legs were weak and had little sensation but he knew they weren't completely incapable. She clung to his body, her arms wrapping around his neck and holding on tight.

"Relax... I won't let you fall" He soothed, helping her to step onto the dance floor. As he began to move to the music she could see Robyn visibly relax and felt a small sense of achievement. Grissom was looking at her for rescue, his eyes wide and begging as Hodges chewed his ear off but she responded with a shrug and a wide smile, holding onto Joel's hands.

As the night began to die down, Joel resorted to lounging on the chairs as Hodges gave him an origami lesson. He did look incredibly bored but Sara was lost in her husband's embrace as he swung her around the dance floor. He smiled down at her, his eyes sparkling as they connected with hers.

"It's been a good night. We did Warrick proud" He muttered, stealing a glance around their friends.

"He has a lot to be proud of" Sara sighed, resting her head on his chest and listening to the sound of his heartbeat, a sound she fell asleep to and woke up to and craved whenever it was away. With a sigh she quietly confessed "We have a great family"

Grissom stilled slightly, as though unsure what she was referring to untill he saw the rest of their dinner party waving them back to the table with a bottle of champagne. He laced his fingers in hers, danced his lips across hers and smiled softly.

"We really do"


End file.
